At the start of each new NFL season, I hold out hope that this will be the year when country singer Carrie Underwood shows just a little professionalism and class, and wears sheer nude pantyhose when performing the Sunday Night Football opening theme song.
I know what you’re thinking: “Silly girl, Robin.” I know, I know.
No matter how bright and shiny her outfit, or lavish the set, ever since the 2013 SNF season when Carrie Underwouldn’t took the handoff from Faith Hill, she’s fumbled the ball, rushing for negative yardage on stage with those pasty-white “bear” legs of hers. And every year, I call her on it.
In this era when the NFL increasing is losing audience and rating shares among the coveted demographics (ages 18-49), it’s clear there’s a real disconnect with fans. And the numbers, as reported by the likes of Forbes.com, USA Today and NYPost.com, should be alarming to the NFL in general, and SNF in particular.
Around this time last year, Forbes.com contributor Brandon Katz, wrote:
“NBC’s Sunday Night Football was down yet again in viewership, drawing in 16.8 million and scoring a 6.19/19 rating in the advertiser friendly 18-49 demo. The numbers mark a season low for SNF, and the show’s 11.0 overnight rating is the lowest since 2007 (ouch).”
Why is the NFL seemingly becoming less popular each year? Can anyone say ex-San Francisco 49ers quarterback Colin Kaepernick’s National Anthem protest (moron)? How about the whole gangsta image many of its players and marketers want to emulate? Could it be the fact that so many ex-players are dying in their 50s?
How about the incredible greed of the owners? Want to go to a game with friends or family? You might have to take out a small loan, or (maybe even more expensive) sign up for DirecTV’s NFL Sunday Ticket.
What does the NFL say is the reason viewers aren’t turning out in the numbers expected? It’s because fans increasingly are turning to digital streaming instead of watching on TV. Oh, and in the case of last weekend’s opening of the 2017-18 NFL season, it was because of Hurricane Irma. (That’s actually the case, as I lost power here and wasn’t able to tune in, which also explains why this post is being published now after the second SNF game.)
Not since actor Peter Finch (playing a news anchor in the 1976 Academy Award winning movie, Network) advised viewers of his station’s evening news program to stick their heads out of windows and yell: “I’m mad as hell and I’m not going to take this anymore,” has there been such outrage over sports TV programming.
But, c’mon now … we all know the real reason why the NFL in general and SNF in particular are seeing their rating numbers plummet, don’t we?
Here’s the deal, SNF: No one wants to see Carrie Underdressed prancing around with those unsightly bear legs like she’s all that (she ain’t) during your opening theme production. If that’s all she’s got, I’d rather watch Bozo the Clown perform the theme song.
What’s with this relationship between SNF and Carrie Undercovered? Can’t they cut her? Is she really the best they can find? She isn’t professional, and she has no class. Well, maybe she’s paying them!
As I’ve written before, every other notable pop singer performing today on stages of all sizes and venues, wears sheer nude or suntan pantyhose for the occasion. I’ve mentioned these ladies many times in the past here, and given you reasons why they could and should replace Carrie Underhanded.
This time (just to make sure I’m on point here) I launched on sites such as billboard.com, YouTube and thetoptens.com a search of today’s top female singers/performers, and they all listed the usual suspects, although each site and others like them had the same artists ranked in different orders.
And, yes, the artists are all the ones I’ve recommended here a million times. This time, let’s consider just three performers the producers of SNF could sign as free agents. (They could tell Carrie Underachiever “We just want to go in a different direction.”)
Each of these ladies is known to the NFL now, as each has performed the Halftime Shows of the past few Super Bowls, making it all the more obvious a choice for the dopes producing the SNF theme.
A veteran singer, songwriter, dancer and actress, Beyoncé already has performed the Halftime Show in two Super Bowls (2013 and 2016), make her an excellent candidate to do the SNF opening theme production.
This highly accomplished artist who rose to fame in the late 1990s is relevant and has an NFL kind of image. She’s sold 100 million records as a solo artist, and has won 22 Grammy Awards, so there’s no question about her talent and showmanship.
She gets my vote anyway because she is highly professional in always wearing nude or suntan pantyhose, not only on stage, but also when appearing as a guest on TV shows, and often, when she’s just out and about.
She made everyone hear her roar during a spectacular, and most-memorable 2015 Super Bowl halftime show, wearing a variety of elegant to cute costumes, complemented, of course, with nude or suntan pantyhose.
In fact, according to wikipedia.org, two days after the halftime show, Guinness World Records announced that Perry’s performance garnered 118.5 million viewers in the United States, and became the most watched and highest rated show in Super Bowl history. The viewership was higher than the game itself, which was viewed by an audience of 114.4 million.
The winner of five American Music Awards and 14 People’s Choice Awards who kissed a girl and liked it, Perry always delivers powerful and exciting performances. She’s got an amazing voice delivers an unforgettable performance, and always sparkles like a firework. Of all musical artists, Perry has been one of the best-dressed on stage and everywhere else. She appears to be dedicated to wearing dresses, always with nude or suntan pantyhose. She clearly would be an upgrade for the SNF opening theme.
Six-time Grammy Award winner, Lady Gaga, performed the 2017 Super Bowl halftime show, attracting 117.5 million viewers and exceeding the game’s total of 113.3 viewers. And for her efforts, Gaga received an Emmy nomination.
Sporting a musical style thought to be most comparable to Gwen Stefani and Madonna, and influenced by David Bowie and Michael Jackson, it is estimated that Gaga has sold around 27 million albums and 146 million singles worldwide. And with a fashion sense that seems to be the inspiration of everything from bubble wrap to raw meat, S&M-style leather and stilettos, there’s no denying Lady Gaga is the ultimate stage entertainer.
But more than anything, I will always be grateful to Lady Gaga because at the dawning (and during the entire hey-day) of the “bear”-legs movement, she stood as one of the few bright lights in the music entertainment industry, always wearing (sometimes nothing but) nude or suntan pantyhose with everything from the most outlandish outfit to an elegant dress. Yes, there was a time when the only professional entertainer you’d see in pantyhose was Lady Gaga and she likely deserves some of the credit for turning around a younger generation of pantyhose wearers today.
With respect: Ariana Grande (the most prolific and consistent wearer of sheer nude or suntan pantyhose in almost every single performance, as well as when she’s out and about); Selena Gomez (just slightly behind Ariana in wearing sheer nude or suntan pantyhose when performing and often, sheer black pantyhose, when she’s out and about, left); and Taylor Swift (often wears on stage and sometimes when out and about), to me, these ladies, while super talented in their own right, just wouldn’t seem credible performing in an NFL spotlight.
Other artists who could be tapped to perform the Sunday Night Football opening theme song would have to include Jennifer Lopez, Christina Aguilera, Rihanna, Adele, Pink, Shakira, Kelly Clarkson, Celine Dion, and Jessie J.
And while I really don’t like her, as she appears to have zero class, even Miley Cyrus is likely to wear sheer nude pantyhose if she were signed to perform the SNF opening theme.
Take a poll, NFL. I’ll bet viewers in staggering numbers would rather see Beyoncé, Katy Perry or Lady Gaga perform the SNF introduction theme song over Carrie Underperformer.
OK, perhaps the bozos over at SNF got a good deal on Carrie Underdone, and they just don’t want to pay the bill for the better professional entertainers available out there. Here’s an idea then: Have just about any professional singer record a new song, but for the stage show, choose members of the cheerleader squads of the two teams who are competing each Sunday night. They could even interact with some of the different players for that night’s matchup.
Brilliant, right? I mean all the NFL Cheerleader squads are professional, classy and smart enough to wear nude or suntan pantyhose with their outfits.
What a way that would be to kick off Sunday Night Football. Fred (SNF executive producer Fred Gaudelli), call me. We can work out the fee for my killer idea.
Part II ~ The supervillain
Listen, I’m not saying I hate Carrie Underwood. Wait a minute … Yes, I am! (Say like Eric Cartman of South Park.)
Hate her song, hate her outfits, hate her.
OK, maybe she’s a nice enough lady in real life, but here’s the deal: I hate it when a female celebrity misses an opportunity to do what’s right, what’s professional and, ultimately, what’s glamorous and feminine.
Disclaimer: Now, if Carrie doesn’t wear pantyhose on SNF because Fred and his team don’t want her to wear, then that’s another story. But I kinda doubt that. I think it’s Carrie’s responsibility to be the professional and make the decision herself about something as personal as whether to wear pantyhose. No, I’m pretty sure Carrie is the bad guy here.
I mean in an Internet search it’s difficult to find a single picture of her wearing.
She even wore a fabulous red gown and high heel dress sandals with those awful bear legs to attend the Grammy Awards earlier this year. Now, that’s one place where professionalism, class and elegance would be called for, but, as usual, she wanted no part of that.
Carrie, Fred, news flash for you here: Pantyhose are back. In a big way. And they’re only going to get bigger and bigger. Look around. Pantyhose are on TV, on TV commercials, in the movies, on Broadway, on the runway (saying again for dramatic sinking-in effect) on the RUNWAY, in fashion magazines, and most of all, pantyhose are on almost all female celebrities today (those with brains, professionalism and femininity anyway).
Heck, pantyhose were on Good Morning America who announced in February 2015, “Pantyhose are back.”
Yeah, I hate Carrie because she has the chance to be among the shining examples of celebs who are once again embracing pantyhose, but instead, she chooses to be a reminder of the ugliness that was the bear legs culture of practically the entire decade of 2000.
But what can I say? For everything that’s good in the world, there’s a thing that’s bad. Every superhero has an arch enemy. Let’s see: Superman has Lex Luther, Batman has the Joker, and Spiderman has the Green Goblin.
Same goes for female superheroes. Wonder Woman, the one character who most stood for everything good, including the virtues of beauty, grace, femininity and what’s right in the world, has an opposite. A supervillain.
Who is the evil arch enemy of Wonder Woman? Introducing … Under Woman.
Yes, it’s Under Woman who (disguised as Carrie Underwood, a mild-mannered country singer) fights a never-ending battle for taking the road less classy, for always choosing to look masculine because it’s easier than making the slightest effort to be more feminine, and for choosing to go bare-legged for all occasions and at all venues.
Part III ~ Carrie earns highest award of her career
As I stated in the first paragraph of this post, season after season since 2013, I had always held out hope that Carrie Understated would finally do the right thing and wear sheer nude pantyhose with her outfits during the SNF opening theme production. But year after year, she has disappointed me.
It is clear to me now that she just isn’t ever going to get it. She has dedicated herself to looking like any number of plain females today who want to talk like, act like and, worse, look more like men.
I’ve had enough of Carrie Undertaker, so recently, I put a call in to an old friend of mine. His name is Oliver B. Griswold, III. You might remember him from a few posts ago about Sarah Jessica Parker. His closest friends call him Griz.
Here’s how the conversation went:
Rob: Hey, Griz. It’s your old buddy, Robin.
Rob: Uhhhhh, you know I run ActSens …
Griz: Yeah, yeah. I’m just messin’ with you. I know who you are. You got some nerve calling, after you stole Sarah Jessica Parker from me.
Rob: (Jeez, I thought we’d moved past that.) I know, I know. But remember I promised I’d make it up to you.
Griz: I’m listening … And don’t call me Griz. We ain’t friends.
Rob: (uh oh) So, I’m just wondering? You still a Chicago Bears fan? What am I thinking? Of course you are …
Griz: Get to the point, girl, I got some porridge on the stove. Heh-heh. What’s the matter? I make you nervous or something?
Rob: (well, yeah, actually) No, no, not at all. Hey, you’ve seen Sunday Night Football, right? You know that (bimbo) uh, country singer, Carrie (Undertalented) Underwood? Annoying little tramp who flaunts her ugly bear legs …
Griz: Wait, when you said that word just now, how are you spelling it?
Rob: You know … b a r e
Griz: Yeah, right. OK, go on. What are you saying here, you are giving me Carrie Underwood?
Rob: Yes, I am officially recommending you make Carrie (Undernourished) Underwood your new client. I mean, she would be …
Rob: Precisely. That’s what I was about to say.
Griz: I love it. OK, Rob, I’m taking Carrie Underwood on, and I’m taking you off … the menu.
Rob: (gulp) Uh, menu?
Griz: Come on, get a sense of humor, girl. Seriously, this Carrie Underwood is perfect for me. I’m thrilled. Set this up, will ya?
Rob: Absolutely. So, just to be clear here, my giving you Carrie (Undercooked) Underwood makes us even now, right? We can be friends, now, right?
Griz: Don’t push it, Sweetheart. Yeah, yeah, OK, OK, stop whining. Carrie Underwood is as deserving as Stacy London was way back when. She’ll make a great new signature client for me.
Rob: Excellent. And, again, to be clear, we’re friends now, ri …
OK, then. Well, close enough. So, everything is right in the world again. Now, I can stop hoping and waiting for Carrie Underblunder to come around. She has officially received the 2017 Grizzly Award. Now, she can openly and proudly proclaim to the world she is the new Stacy London. She’s officially the face (or legs) of the bear legs franchise.
I’m sure she and the Grizzly will be very happy together. They look happy, don’t they? Well, Griz does anyway.
My thanks to Jay Aton, a longtime reader here, for his excellent artwork on a moments notice. You can see more of Jay’s work by visiting his website at http://atondigitalart.blogspot.com/
Did you know that January 4 is “National Triva Day?”
I just learned that while doing research to write this post. Turns out there are about 20 other little celebrations associated with January, including “National write the wrong year on your check month,” “Bath Safety Month” (seriously?) and “Stalking awareness month.” (OK, there’s one for you.)
I found this a few days ago when I went Googling for validation of something I saw on a TV commercial. It’s an ad by ShoeDazzle (link below), referencing the celebration of “National Bootie Month.” https://www.ispot.tv/ad/ACvp I thought, “What? Is that really a thing?”
OK, apparently, mostly, it is, only it’s really called “National Bootie Day,” and it’s actually on September 10, according to JustFab.com and other references I’ve now seen.
So, ShoeDazzle jumped the gun a bit (just nine months) to promote its products, but the timing of that commercial was spot-on for me, as it got me wondering all about booties worn with pantyhose, and this ad prompted me to look into the whole idea and write about it here.
Those of you who’ve gotten to know me throughout the years probably realize I don’t like the wearing of boots with dresses or skirts, but what about booties? Hmmmm, let me think … NO.
Why do I dislike boots or booties with a dress or skirt? Because it hides too much leg and foot. My preference has always been any kind of high heels (but not so much the platform kind), or pumps or dress sandals. And the less the shoe, and the more the foot, the better.
On the other hand (OK, the foot), open- or peep-toe booties worn with sheer pantyhose apparently is a thing these days.
And you know what? I’m good with that.
I mean, you ain’t never gonna find me sporting the look, as actress Diane Kruger (right) does, but I officially state here that I am all for it on anyone else. Why? If women will wear pantyhose with open- or peep-toe booties, it’s another win for all of us.
Further, it’s just one more thing that ought to drive the “fashion experts” crazy.
We all know how much the fashion police out there despise, not only pantyhose, but even more so, pantyhose worn with open-toe high heels, even while no one ever follows their stupid advise.
Nevertheless (and this is huge), it now appears we’ve all finally worn down some of those fashion freak naysayers. Case in point, check out this Vogue.com story that ran a few months ago:
If, with the new year upon us, you’re looking for signs of hope and optimism about the return to mainstream status of sheer pantyhose, this Vogue.com story is a giant leap forward.
Too bad, though, that the only photo (I could find anyway) related to this new concession about sheer pantyhose being worn with open-toe shoes on the runway, is this one (left) with the model wearing some ridiculous-looking pantyhose.
Still, there’s no denying this is a huge step forward for pantyhose lovers.
I mean first, the fashion police told us pantyhose for any situation and venue were an absolute no-no. Yes, they won quite a number of blind followers, yet, pantyhose didn’t die, did they?
And, you’ll remember, ActSensuous (which started in 2001, at the very height of the “bear” legs movement), was always here telling you not to worry; to keep the faith, as there remained a sizable pocket of resistance by classy ladies, female business execs, celebrities and thousands upon thousands of “real girls” who never gave up on pantyhose.
When the fashion watchdogs realized, but couldn’t admit, that pantyhose were still a force, they shined their negative spotlight a little lower, barking out that, of all the horrible things about pantyhose, the absolute worst was wearing them with dress sandals.
They actually plastered this pic (left) all across the Internet, trying to show how bad that idea is, as if anybody believed anyone actually wore ugly hosiery like that with sandals.
To that, I present this image (below).
The wearer (right) is Abbey Clancy, a lingerie, catwalk model and television personality in England.
Anyone who would try to discourage this look is, well, most likely jealous, as Abbey’s feet are beautiful in those sheer pantyhose. Often, I smiled when seeing absolutely everywhere that NOBODY was buying that rubbish the so-called fashion experts wanted women to believe: That it was taboo to wear sheer pantyhose with open-toe shoes.
And, thankfully, from the most successful and highest profile women to the everyday real girls out and about across the whole wide world, everyone who wears pantyhose always has been wearing them with open-toe shoes.
During the past few years, the latest manifestation of that trend has been wearing pantyhose or tights with open- or peep-toe booties. To me, that’s sorta like giving a big “Take that” to all those fashion know-it-alls.
Still, I didn’t really care, and just forgot about the whole thing until I remembered seeing this picture (above) of young TV personality, Kylie Jenner, wearing open-toe booties (quite beautifully) with sheer black pantyhose during a Nickelodeon awards show a few years ago.
I thought she looked amazing, but I still figured this was a very unique thing, and as usual for me, I somehow missed the point and largely forgot about Kylie’s look back back then. Until, that is, I saw the ShoeDazzle commercial earlier this month.
So I launched an Internet search to see whether anyone else really was sporting this look?
To my surprise after three days of research, I was able to file only a handful of pics, such as this one of actress, Jessica Alba (right), to share with you.
Now, that doesn’t mean that’s all I found. No-no-no. I actually saved 93 pics that have something to do with the subject of this post.
And, lest ye think that what I do for you here is all just fun and games for me, let me share the dilemma I came to have. When laying out the copy and then trying to illustrate it with the perfect artwork (meaning choosing just the right image to illustrate a specific point I make), it’s way too cumbersome to sift through the 93 choices in one folder. So, being the super-organized type, I sorted all 93 images into different subfolders — nine to be exact.
I can hear what you’re thinking now: “That Robin, she’s a clever gal.” Yeah, but nine subfolders to do with wearing pantyhose or tights with open- or peep-toe booties, you ask? You bet.
You see, the problem I encountered was this whole booties thing ain’t all that black and white here. To give you an idea of what I’m talking about, let’s go through all nine subfolders of images. C’mon, it’ll be fun …
1. Open- or peep-toe booties with pantyhose
The very point of this post, right? Well, the most significant photo I found was the one that started it all for me: Kylie Jenner’s look (right) during that Nickelodeon awards show.
In my opinion, she is the signature example of wearing sheer pantyhose with open-toe booties, although, I don’t get black pantyhose with white footwear.
Still, I have to give her credit for this look. With those toes in those hose, she could pull off anything.
2. Open- or peep-toe booties without pantyhose
I know what you’re thinking: Why would you show a picture of that, Robin?
Well, one cannot know what cold feels like, if one has lived one’s whole life in 90-degree weather. (Prophetic, huh?)
And since open- or peep-toe booties exist, naturally, they are (most often, I found) going to be worn with bear legs.
So here ya go. See how they look? Now, aren’t you glad you saw Kylie Jenner’s way of wearing them?
3. Booties with pantyhose
You get that? Just plain old booties (not open- or peep-toe). In my search, I found many more pics of regular booties, but at least, I found a bunch of pictures of women wearing them with pantyhose. So you have to see one of them.
Probably, the most compelling pic I found of someone wearing just plain old booties (but with pantyhose) is this one of actress Morena Baccarin. There are precious few photos of Baccarin wearing pantyhose, so to find one of her wearing pantyhose with booties seemed too significant not to show you.
Why do we care, though? Well, it’s “National Bootie Month.” OK, actually, it isn’t (as we covered in the beginning), but since that goof-up was what spawned this blog post, look at this picture and be thankful. Good job.
4. Booties without pantyhose
OK, just kidding. I’m not going to show you that. I mean, I found a lot more of those pictures than anything else, and I did put a few of them in a folder with this name, but we’ve got more important things to cover here. So, we’ll move on. (You’re welcome.)
5. Just booties
Seriously. With pantyhose or without, I found so many things that might, or might not, be booties, I had to create and fill a subfolder with that name.
So, to be clear, the image you see here (right) is an authentic bootie.
6. Not actually booties
You see where I’m going with this? Some footwear pics I found (below, left) kinda, sorta looked like booties and even had pantyhosed feet in them. I have no idea what the heck these things are called, maybe just boots (low ones), but they aren’t in the spirit of the booties we’re talking about here. Maybe they are just some kind of funky, chunky shoes.
In any case, since I collected and stored those pics (then, realized after all the experience I’d gained) that they actually aren’t booties, you have to see a pic of one of them.
Pretty nice pic, too. At least, the girl is wearing these regular old boots with pantyhose.
7. Not sure
That’s right. There are some pics of women in pantyhose wearing something that might, or might not, be a bootie. The only thing I know for sure now is that I have no real idea what the heck a bootie is. Hey, sue me, OK?
So here’s a picture (left) of Australian mega performer, Kylie Minogue. See if you can tell whether those things on her feet are booties, or something else, smarty pants. Hey, at least, she’s wearing pantyhose with them.
8. Not this
One thing I had no trouble with was being pretty clear that this image (right) is not what this blog post is about. But I really I liked the picture.
So here it is.
9. Absolutely stupid, doesn’t count
Seriously, I made a subfolder with this title.
That’s because these pics I found, but didn’t want to find (or even see) are the dumbest thing I have ever seen in our beloved pantyhose industry.
And because I had to see it, you have to see it.
I would like to find the moron who came up with this idea, and karatefy him or her.
In fact, I’d also like to kick the frick out of the bigger moron who actually bought this idea.
Here’s how I imagine the first meeting about this product design went:
Pitchman: Hey, I’ve got a great idea here. How about we make pantyhose that go from the waist all the way down to the feet, but stop at the toes?
Boss: Wait a minute, did you really just say what I think you said? What the heck is wrong with you?
Pitchman: Now, hear me out, hear me out. We’ll call them toeless pantyhose, and that alone probably would get some women out there to buy them.
Boss: Why on Earth would anyone buy such a thing?
Pitchman: Well, for years, all those fashion experts have been telling and making some truly dumbass women out there believe that they should never wear pantyhose with open-toe shoes.
So, with this new product, they can now wear pantyhose so that their legs look great, but … and here’s the best part … their toes will be bare, so they can wear their open-toe shoes the way the fashion experts tell them to. Huh? Huh? Brilliant, right?
Boss: OK, let me get this straight. The women who …
Pitchman, interrupting the boss: … dumbass women …
Boss: Right, right. The dumbass women who wear these things would have on real pantyhose that make their legs look, well, fabulous, all the way down the foot, but stop at the toes?
Pitchman: Yes, yes …
Boss: OK, so to be clear, these …..
Pitchman, chiming in: dumbass …
Boss: Right, dumbass women, they go about their daily routines wearing, say, black pantyhose down through the shoe, and then their bare, white, pasty toes peek out to the world, and ….. I’m sorry, tell me again … why would any woman in her right mind do such an incredibly stupid thing?
Pitchman: That’s just it. They do incredibly stupid things. We don’t even have to tell them it’s what the fashion experts agree with … I mean, if we make this product, they’ll think it’s the thing, and they’ll buy ‘em and wear them.
Boss: Yeah, OK, I’m sold. Let’s do it.
Are these people kidding? I guess not, because even Hanes bought in to this concept (right), and their ad campaign actually reads: “Hanes Silk Reflections Ultra Sheer pantyhose toeless design lets you wear sandals and open-toe shoes and show off your pedicure.”
OK, now I’ve definitely seen everything in this business. I will have a difficult time trying to get these images out of my head now.
Readers, seriously now, is this the dumbest thing you’ve ever seen related to pantyhose?
In any case, it’s a new year. And with it, comes renewed optimism that pantyhose will continue to make leaps and bounds toward returning to mainstream acceptance.
Already, we’ve seen some great signs, such as Vogue.com actually promoting the wearing of sheer pantyhose with open-toe shoes on fashion runways. Don’t discount the significance of that.
And, with the growing fad of wearing sheer pantyhose or tights with open- or peep-toe booties making inroads, there’s definitely reason for increased confidence that we are taking the right steps forward toward bringing pantyhose all the way back.
It should be a fun ride.
Wishing you all “sheer” happiness, health and prosperity in 2017.
During the months of October and November this year, I partnered with an outstanding photographer to conduct a photo shoot with three professional models wearing our NewAct IV line of super sheer pantyhose for an “Autumn at Central Park in NYC” theme.
The idea was to make a new slide for the home page of the ActSensuous website.
A few (seriously, only a few) of the devoted readers of this blog have raved about the new slide, so I thought some of you might want to see more pictures from the sets among the three professional models.
Originally from Moscow, Russia, Dinara’s professional modeling experience includes taking part in car shows, exhibitions and a bikini contest in Moscow. Additionally, Dinara has been a runway model, performed in promotional modeling assignments, and she has stood in foot modeling gigs in New York. You’ll see why the foot modeling. Wow!
Besides all that, the 5’6, 110-pound, Eastern European beauty with olive skin has made her presence known in a variety of genres, including acting, dance, fashion, fitness, glamour, sports and stunts. And, she’s been a host and spokesperson.
Here is Dinara in Central Park:
Describing herself as “a natural performer since the age of 2,” Daryann is talented in various forms of dance, such as ballet/pointe, modern/contemporary, African, jazz, tap, hip hop and lyrical.
“As I grew in age and talent, I expanded my versatile abilities, going into the fields of modeling, as well as singing and acting,” Daryann tells us. “As I continue to get older, I look to better myself and my career, while taking modeling, acting and dancing to the next level.”
The 22-year-old New Yorker is 5’4, 98 pounds and wears a size 0 dress. Daryann performs in many genres, including acting, art, dance, fashion, fitness, glamour, hair/makeup, lifestyle, artistic, and promotional. Additionally, she’s been a hostess and a spokesperson.
One of the things we loved about Daryann from the beginning is she wrote in response to our casting call: “The shoot seems very classy and I am comfortable in pantyhose.”
Daryann in Old Westbury Gardens in NY:
Originally from Belarus, the 25-year-old is a professional psychologist and a freelance model who is passionate about everything she does.
Alisa’s list of projects includes acting, body paint, fashion modeling, fitness modeling, glamour, hair/makeup, lifestyle, lingerie, pinup, promotional modeling, runway and swimwear modeling. Also, Alisa has been a spokesperson and hostess.
After the shoot, Alisa wrote: “Just wanted to let you know that it was a pleasure to shoot for ActSensuous!!! I fell in love with the pantyhose! I’d be honored to be considered for future projects.”
Alisa in Central Park:
My deepest thanks to professional models, Dinara, Daryann and Alisa for representing ActSensuous with beauty, glamour and class.
I have worked many times before with professional photographers, but this time, I was looking for someone new; someone with a New York state of mind.
I had been talking with a few of our customers in NYC, hoping that maybe someone knew of a good photographer, and my hunch paid off, as one couple who own a gift shop recently had professional photography done for their store’s catalog. They highly recommended a fellow entrepreneur who also is a professional photographer, and that’s how I became introduced to Linley of LawrenceNyPhoto. I pitched the idea of “Autumn at Central Park in NYC” to Linley, and he instantly jumped on board, bringing tons of energy, enthusiasm and professionalism to the project.
So I have to give a special shout-out to Linley, who truly deserves all the credit for pulling this thing off under a tight budget and a tighter deadline. Almost single-handedly, Linley helped to identify and screen the best models out of many dozens based in the NYC area. He also chose the venues, coordinated the shoots, handled all the little details, and along the way, delivered some fantastic photos. Wouldn’t you say?
Again, my thanks to Linley.
Want to play?
Whenever I invest in a project for our website or blog, I always try to steer the business to one of our customers or loyal readers of this blog. I enjoy keeping things in the family. Case in point, our website was created by a customer, David (and his wife, Sheri).
So customers, or readers here, sometimes, it pays (literally) to let me know what you do for a living, as I have lots of ideas in my head, many of which can turn into paying opportunities. If you offer a special talent or skill set that could be useful in my campaign to bring pantyhose back into the mainstream of fashion, entertainment, and as a staple in American culture, and if you desire to cooperate on a project, please approach me.
Finally, a note to all our customers from all over the world, in case you miss it on our website (http://www.actsensuous.com), we are running a Christmas promotion now through Dec. 31: Take 33% off your purchase of at least 4 pairs of our NewAct IV. Just enter coupon code Santa33 at Checkout.
Note: The coupon is for NewAct IV only, as Orig. Act IV, Act III, Act II, and our NewAct IV-BP for our beauty pageant organizations’ delegates already are discounted to practically giving them away status.
It is said that “Knowledge is power” (Francis Bacon).
We’ve also heard that money is power, and that there is power in numbers. And, two music artists: Huey Lewis and the News, and Celine Dion, sang two different songs called The Power of Love.
Male or female, many people possess such power, but there’s a very special power reserved strictly for the ladies. Ironically, however, very many more men than ladies appear to be aware of it.
What am I talking about here? The power women wield when wearing sheer pantyhose today.
Some ladies do get it, and they embrace this power. Most of the celebrity ones, you’ve read about many times here. But this time, we’re talking about everyday real ladies.
How would wearing pantyhose give me this power, you ladies ask? Apparently, most of you today don’t realize this (or don’t care), but the vast majority of men from practically every civilized country in the world love and adore you when you wear pantyhose. And they will do almost anything you want when you wear.
You’ll get tons more looks from gentlemen out in public and at the office. And, more compliments will be given to you, more doors will be held for you, more opportunities will open up to you, and more favors will be done for you. Mostly, more men will notice you, admiringly.
You see, most gentlemen feel that ladies who wear sheer pantyhose for all the right reasons and at all the proper venues are very special. And this is all the more significant in today’s time where too many women think, act and even try to look more like men.
A lovely young lady in beautiful pantyhose has inadvertantly captured the attention of a man who can’t take his eyes off her, even while the woman he is with is trying to conduct a conversation with him.
And guess what? You not only have power over men when you wear sheer pantyhose, but also over other women who don’t. When you wear (and get all the attention and adoration of men), that makes the women who don’t wear feel uncomfortable, insecure and jealous.
Don’t think so? Look around. Sheer pantyhose aren’t just coming back. They’re already back. If you pay attention, you can see that pantyhose are showing up everywhere again — on TV shows, TV commercials and print ads, in movies … and (hold your breath) … even on fashion runways. There’s your biggest proof (and your worst nightmare if you’re a devoted “bear” legs practitioner).
That’s why I wrote above that women who don’t wear are uncomfortable in the presence of the special ladies who do. Those bear-leggers are beginning to notice more and more ladies wearing pantyhose, and they’re feeling insecure about it because deep down they knew all along that this bear legs thing is ugly and stupid, but because it existed, they jumped on and stayed on that bandwagon.
And now, they are being confronted with the reality that (as fashion always does) the bear legs trend is swinging in the opposite direction, back toward sheer pantyhose again.
This makes the bear legs disciples jealous of the lovely ladies who already have returned to pantyhose (or never abandoned them in the first place), as those ladies have the courage and convictions of femininity, which includes class, grace and elegance, which the bears don’t possess.
The bears know pantyhose are returning, but most of them can’t accept it, or are hibernating in denial.
As the president of ActSensuous, who’s self-imposed mission in life since 2001 is to carry the torch for the return to favor of pantyhose, I wear every day. And when I say every day, I mean Sunday through Saturday no matter how hot it is in Florida. When I go out into the real world, I set an example, whether anyone notices or appreciates it or not.
For a while there, I was beginning to think that men were so long-beaten-down by the bear-leggers, they had gotten conditioned to seeing only Carrie Underwood legs, as they seemed not to even glance my way. This just couldn’t be, I thought.
So, recently, I resorted to blending into the shadows, while observing my best gal pal, Angela, as she gallivants out and about in our NewAct IV line.
That’s when I came to realize, oh, men are most definitely looking. It’s just that they’ve become all Jason Bourne about it, adept at very discreetly surveilling a babe in pantyhose. These guys don’t miss a single delicate (but totally in-control) step, as Angela glides down streets, aisles and parking lots.
And here’s something interesting I found along the way: Unlike what I expected, the looks from many women weren’t always those of daggers flying from their eyes, as much as ones that carried a hint of envy in them.
They were seeing someone else doing what they probably secretly want to do, but wouldn’t, for fear of seeming out of place according to what they viewed as “just the way things are these days.”
Here’s the reality: Being out and about in sheer pantyhose — the most beautiful, delicately sensuous and decidedly feminine thing a woman could ever wear — has an effect on men (and many women), which can make the wearer feel like a million bucks because she is setting herself apart from the masses in the most classy and elegant of ways.
Readers saying it, too
Many of you have read comments here from some of those real ladies who get it. Case in point: Kim, who wrote this comment last month:
As a woman, I love my position and the attention I get from my hub especially when I dress up and put on my pantyhose and heels.
And believe it or not, I think he likes the attention I get from other men in the room. They…notice. It’s a real turn-on for him.
(The results are very good for me at the end of the night too, wink wink.)
What I find funny are the cady reactions I see from other women. “What is she wearing? Look.” I actually find that more funny.
As so many of the comments we read here are from men who express their dismay and sadness at their wives’ or girlfriends’ refusal to wear (and not just in general, but not even once in a great while for their men’s enjoyment), it’s refreshing to see such a positive comment from a real lady out there who definitely gets it. Go, Kim.
That reminded me of a similar comment we saw here last year. It came from Aimelous:
For me personally I like wearing (pantyhose) for the man I’m with because I like the fact that it turns him on and it makes me feel desired and in control. It is such a simple request by a man asking me to wear a pair, who would say no?
I’m confused by all the women that do say no or think it’s weird there are so many fetishes and I find this one to be so easy to accommodate. I also like the feeling of somebody rubbing my legs or feet while I have on a pair. It feels nice and I actually really do like it.
I do read the men’s comments and they seem to have problems asking women or finding women that want to do this and I can’t understand why a woman wouldn’t? Again that is just how I feel because it’s just so easy.
I do also find the nylons to be a very intimate thing and that is more my style. I’m sure I could wear a pair for a guy who didn’t really like them because men basically do whatever you want and ask him to rub my legs but it simply would not be the same feeling to me as a man who truly enjoyed that.
I would rather have a relationship now with a man who prefers them and likes them than a man who didn’t.
Ahhhhh, now there’s a lady who truly gets it. Notice that in Aimelous’ very first sentence, she writes “ … and it makes me feel desired and in control.”
This is the power I’m talking about. Sadly, most women today don’t seem to realize they could wield that power if they would wear sheer pantyhose.
Rather, they must find it easier to just complain and cite the same old lame excuses about how bad pantyhose must be. I say “must be” because I believe most of them don’t actually know, as they are merely following along, riding the bandwagon that others like them started a decade-and-a-half ago.
Back to Aimelous: A bit later when a male reader (who mentioned that his wife doesn’t wear), asked Aimelous what her favorite shade of pantyhose is, she responded:
For me its the nude and i prefer a better quality nylon. I like very soft/silky feels like cashmere. Since you like them so much as do most men here im confused why you all forgo them (i know its not your choice).
How important is it to you in your relationship on a scale from 1/10. Im confused why people are with others when they cant really be themselves? I dont think i could ever do that. Dont get me wrong i understand life obligations, jobs, kids, wife, etc and nylons shouldnt be more important by any means, but isnt it a part of you and who you are or no?
And that is exactly what I’ve been saying for years to men who write comments here, or letters they email me. It is so refreshing to hear another lady ask: Why do you guys forgo so easily the thing you love most in life? And how important is it to you in your relationship?
Now, I’m no therapist, and it’s a good thing I’m not a marriage counselor either. I wouldn’t be a good one because I’d tell these guys to send their wives or girlfriends packing when they refuse to do such a simple and innocent little favor for their husbands or boyfriends.
Think I’m too harsh? How many times have I written here: It’s not as if guys are asking their ladies to wear leather from head to toe, stilettos or corsets? We’re talking about soft, sheer pantyhose here, people. They weigh like 1.6 ounces and that includes the packaging. They are like silk.
Well, that’s true about ActSensuous pantyhose, anyway. Ours are 100 percent nylon (no spandex). Any woman who would say these are uncomfortable is simply fooling herself. In such a case, the real issue must be that she has no sense of femininity, elegance, beauty or glamour.
Comments on this blog like those from Kim, Amielous and a few others are very encouraging, as it’s good for everyone to see in writing that not all women out there are simple cows who just don’t get (or worse, don’t care) what their men want.
Also last year, came this positive, but at the same time, heart-wrenching comment from Annie:
I’m twenty four, I live in the UK and I’ve just come out of a relationship with a guy who I absolutely adored and he had a tights (that’s what we call them here!) fetish.
Before meeting him I thought of tights as nothing special really. I assumed men preferred bare legs. I had to wear them for work and I never even took a second glance at deniers or finishes when buying them. But now, I see the true beauty of them. I can tell which denier and finish someone is wearing when they pass me in the street.
I absolutely loved the fetish and it became a huge part of my life. I found the entire concept of it so exciting and I now wear them every single day. I also notice that a pair of heels and low denier black tights have turned more than a few heads when I’ve walked by! I do think there’s something about them now!
The hardest thing I’m finding now that we’ve broken up it’s kind of like ‘Well what now?’ Do I just hope someone will find me who has the same fetish? Do I actively look for someone with this fetish? I’ve looked online and found websites and forums but something about looking for someone with a fetish seems a bit ‘not right’ to me?
I don’t have the fetish myself, but I feel I have been conditioned to link tights with sex now and I find the thought of having sex without them very mundane, I enjoyed it so much!
It made me feel so much more attractive, and teaming them with outfits became something I absolutely threw myself into with enthusiasm.
At first, I thought it was just because I missed him, but it would seem not.
I’ve posted this here because I feel this blog is the most ‘clean’ and I’ve really enjoyed reading it. I felt I might get some kind of helpful feedback as opposed to people responding with crude comments followed by their telephone numbers! Thanks.
Wow, what a great girl Annie is. She truly is a dream come true for most of the men on this planet. I hope she will follow up and let us know how things are going for her today, and whether she’s found a new boyfriend who surely would consider himself among the luckiest guys in the world.
In today’s world filled with negativity, hatred, madness (and ugliness in how most women present themselves), it’s wonderful to see that there still are some very special ladies out there who truly get it? They have learned, accepted and embraced (or, in some cases, always knew in the first place) the reality that they wield true power when wearing pantyhose.
However, this comment came through last year from Elsa:
I recently started dating a guy with a pantyhose fetish. I don’t know what to think about it. I’ve tried indulging him as much as he wants, but honestly I just don’t like the feel of them and can only take them on my legs for a short period of time.
Should I just give up on him and hope he finds someone who enjoys them as much as he does?
It’s not a big deal to endure a little discomfort now and then for his pleasure, but honestly, why is his fetish more important than my aversion to these not-so-natural clothing items?
I get it you guys love the look and feel of them, but isn’t it just a tad bit unhealthy to be so obsessed with an item of clothing? It’s starting to cause problems when he wants me to wear them and I don’t feel like it. It’s not like I haven’t happily gone along with it countless times already, but it can’t be every time. It is just getting boring.
OK, I appreciate that Elsa at least tried to indulge her boyfriend’s love for pantyhose. Yet, while perhaps she isn’t quite the man-hating bear who couldn’t care less about the wants and needs of the one in her life, she is one of those females I find so perplexing. She just doesn’t like the feel of pantyhose, and “can take them on her legs for only a short period of time?” Uh, could that be because they are too tight maybe?
This is one of those issues I’ve been trying to educate women about for … I don’t know, a hundred years now? For a woman to say she doesn’t like the feel of pantyhose on her legs, tells me she doesn’t know how to choose pantyhose.
As I’ve said for (ever), women have choices! I suppose even I wouldn’t like the feel of pantyhose on my legs if I were buying the kind with a high concentration of spandex in them.
Of course, I realize there are thousands of men who love the tight-fitting shiny kind of pantyhose, which might actually have more to do with an encasement or bondage fetish than a pantyhose fetish.
Spandex, a synthetic compound of rubberized particles, was invented in the 1980s for athletic apparel, such as compression shorts.
Their application in pantyhose allowed manufacturers to make a (money saving) one-size-fits-all style because spandex would allow the garment to stretch, but then return to it’s original size and shape.
My belief is that probably most women, but definitely the ones who are slightly willing to “sacrifice” (I’m using that word sarcastically) their comfort and principles for their man’s pleasure, have little if any education or experience in shopping for pantyhose.
So they either buy a brand/style haphazardly, or just wear whatever their men buy for them.
Now, wearing pantyhose made with a ton of spandex on one’s legs for an extended length of time certainly could be considered uncomfortable. And since the vast majority of pantyhose today have some degree of spandex in them, it stands to reason that those are the kind most women are buying.
They must not realize they have more than just that style from which to choose.
Those are the women who try pantyhose once or maybe a couple times and come away with a negative feeling about them.
In Elsa’s case, she admits she has an aversion to pantyhose, and calls them a “not-so-natural” item of clothing. Her hostility toward pantyhose is obvious, making me surprised that she tried to indulge her man’s love for them even once.
Have you noticed the well-conceived and brilliantly written comments that have been appearing here lately? They’re quite impressive. A couple of months ago, Russell, a reader I believe is a lawyer, wrote (in part) this:
In this season of presidential election politics, I pose the question “Do women who lean toward the right or conservatism tend to wear pantyhose more frequently than their left or liberal leaning cohorts?”
I submit the answer is yes and here is my argument in support of my position. Conservative women favor preservation of tradition, class, good looks, being well dressed and polished. They are typically not subject to what I call the lemur phenomena, meaning they will not follow others off a cliff just because that’s the direction the rest of the crowd is heading.
Liberals, or left leaning women follow current trends and fads. Once pantyhose became a pariah of feminists who viewed them as a symbol of male oppression and sexism, they followed suit and continue to do so in the honest belief that they have no other function save for objectifying women.
Well, I don’t disagree with anything Russell wrote, although clearly, there’s more to it than that.
Similarly, writer Kinsley Goldman of Celeb Dirty Laundry, an Internet entertainment news publication, on March 26, 2012 wrote:
“Kate Middleton (above left) is becoming a fashion leader and this means that the conservative look is definitely on rise. Duchess Catherine is now the most looked-at woman in the world, as well as the most admired. Her clothing choices are elegant, modest, and conservative while always fresh and never dowdy.”
A couple of weeks ago, another wise reader, JA, expanded on Russell’s comment, writing (in part) this:
I see the women who refuse to wear pantyhose today as falling into either one of two categories: “Copy Cats” or “Scaredy Cats”.
The Copy Cats are followers who simply do whatever they’re told and what everyone else does because they are incapable of acting out of independent thought. When wearing pantyhose was in vogue, they wore them, and would never think of doing otherwise. When pantyhose fell out of favor, they followed suit and perpetuated the trend. Lemmings, pure and simple.
The Scaredy Cats know better than this, but lack the confidence to do what they feel is right because doing so would make them look like outcasts and subject them to ridicule.
Both groups lack conviction, and both groups share the blame for our current “drought”, but there is one startling difference between the two. Since the Scaredy Cats are not being true to themselves, they feel guilty for going “bear”. The Copy Cats, on the other hand, feel a sense of pride.
That’s an interesting and entertaining way of putting it, and I agree with JA. But it was something else JA wrote that really resonated with me, as it is something I have believed for a long time.
Here’s how JA put it (in part):
… like it or not, “bear legs” have become the traditional style of dress. As recent comments on this site point out, it is the women who wear pantyhose in today’s world who are looked upon as being the “non-traditional” ones, whose actions are viewed as being “radical”, “pushing the envelope”, “upsetting the status quo”, “being risque”, and who are actively testing modern society’s comfort levels. A decade and a half ago, it was the “bears” who fell into this category.
Beauties and the beasts
The reason I like JA’s statement is its reality takes away what I believe was always the beasts’ greatest goal in life — to change the decent and good values of society in the areas of professionalism, class, elegance and good taste — probably mostly for the sake of just being counter culture, but maybe also because those are the standards they fear the most. I believe they can’t handle the pressure of living up to such values, and view it as easier to look and act like beasts than to carry themselves with any kind of grace and elegance like the beauties.
The best part is that the beasts sought attention for trying to bring all of society down to their level, but it backfired, as it’s now the outnumbered beauties (those who continued to embrace the traditional values by daring to wear sheer pantyhose for all the right reasons) who are now getting all the attention the beasts so craved in the first place. And that attention is growing stronger and faster than the beasts ever could have imagined for their own cause.
And, men everywhere are noticing and applauding the beauties. So tired men are of beast mode. They’ve had it with this ugliness and their voices are beginning to get a little louder. For the most part, look at the advertising on TV, which too often portrays women as wanting to look, act and dress like men.
This currently airing TV commercial (right) for a Checkers steak burger, features a woman dressed in leather from head to toe, ratcheting up her jaw to about three times normal size to take a huge bite. This look isn’t attractive to civilized men, and it doesn’t do women any favors, unless they aspire to be biker chicks maybe.
And garbage like this is only helping to perpetuate beast mode in America.
A few years ago, I stumbled across this site: boycottamericanwomen.blogspot.com
It’s about the ever-growing number of men who are dismayed and disgusted at how so many American women have long lost their sense of beauty and femininity, and when I first saw it, the main example was the way women dress these days, particularly, the fact that they had stopped wearing pantyhose.
Today, I had to search to find the site again. I Googled what I thought was the website’s name: Don’t date American women. OK, that wasn’t it, but there were at least 10 pages of links to that subject. I say “at least” because I stopped at page 10. It was getting too depressing.
Sadly, most women today continue to miss or ignore two great principles: (1.) The vast majority of men throughout the world always profess that they love and desire women in pantyhose; (2.) Women appear to have no clue about the power they could wield if they wore sheer pantyhose.
(Or, they don’t care, which is even worse.)
Maybe women today think it doesn’t matter what men love and want. If that’s their attitude, they are selling themselves and sealing their own doom, as more and more men are becoming fed up with the beasts in America and are now getting the conviction to seek foreign beauties who have strong values, enjoy being female, and dress and act like ladies.
Indeed, the ladies in most civilized countries throughout the world embrace the wearing of sheer pantyhose as part of their culture of beauty, class and elegance. (As pantyhose once were here, where they were invented.)
It’s much more routine for ladies throughout Europe to wear sheer pantyhose with attractive outfits.
And, women throughout Asia in particular don’t have to be persuaded (or begged) to wear pantyhose.
They wouldn’t think of doing otherwise, as sheer pantyhose are that ingrained in their culture. It’s almost funny to me to see that Asian men often don’t even offer a glance when a beautiful woman in pantyhose walks by.
That might be because, to them, it’s no big deal. They see it all the time, every single day.
To the beasts who have no interest in the values of femininity and beauty, those who don’t think it’s important to wear pantyhose to the office, to a wedding or even to a funeral; who wouldn’t consider wearing even on date night, or for just 20 minutes to please their men on special occasions, know this: Time is running out for you. And men are keeping score.
For men, time is now
Back in 2012, I wrote a post here: Future of pantyhose in men’s hands?
In it, I suggest that men need to do a better job of communicating with the ladies. They need to express (the right way) their feelings about pantyhose.
I still believe that to some extent it is men who can bring pantyhose back into the mainstream. It’s already beginning to happen. We can see pantyhose coming back a little every day.
The timing is right for all good men to make it known to their wives/gfs they want to see them wearing pantyhose.
I could be wrong here (it happened once … unless I’m mistaken). So, to those men whose wives/gfs refuse to wear pantyhose to work, out and about, and definitely not for you, there are two things you should consider:
Life is short. Do you really want to waste your youth, energy and passion? Find the right match for yourself.
Sacrifice and denial can be good (if you’re into the whole zen thing), but can you live with regret?
I understand that you’re responsible, loyal, and don’t want to seem as if you’re too shallow, and that’s very noble of you. But, at some point, shouldn’t you ask yourself:
“How strong is my marriage (or relationship)? Isn’t this thing supposed to be a partnership here, like you know, 50-50 or something? What message is my wife (or gf) sending me if she won’t do such a simple thing as wear pantyhose for me even once in a while?
“And, do I really want to be with a woman anyway, who thinks it’s OK to go ‘bear’-legged at the office, or to a formal event? Seriously, can I really be with a woman who has such hatred and aversion to something as beautiful, delicate and decidedly feminine as pantyhose?”
Sorry, but to me, it sounds as if too many of your wives/gfs aren’t trying all that hard to be in their marriages/relationships. That can’t be good.
Still, all these factors aside, if you’re willing to live without your passion, and you can justify to yourself this whole issue, even though you get no fairness in your relationship (not even a little quid pro quo), here are some things you can do for yourself so that you can at least achieve some measure of sick satisfaction:
Retaliation strategies for men
Longtime readers here might remember, I once suggested a few things men whose wives/gfs refuse to wear pantyhose for them should do in retaliation. I meant it as a joke back then, but now I really think you ought to try these things.
So, here you go … If your wife or girlfriend won’t wear pantyhose for you, try these things:
Don’t wear a necktie — If she loves to see you in a tie, don’t wear one. Tell her ties are uncomfortable, out of style, too grandpa, and irrelevant in today’s more casual dress styles.
Don’t wear a belt — When you go out with her, wear dress pants with a tucked-in dress shirt and dress shoes, but skip the belt. Tell her the same as above.
Don’t wear socks — See above explanation.
If she doesn’t like a beard, grow one.
If she does like a beard, shave or don’t grow one.
Well, guys, there you have it. I’ve showed you how you can solve the biggest dilemma in your life. Now, the results are up to you.
Ladies, you knew “Knowledge is power.” Now, you should know Wearing pantyhose is power.
Note 1: As mentioned in the previous post, some of the high resolution photos here are not expanding to their larger sizes. I’ve reached out to WordPress for help, but have been ignored. (More than likely, the female help personnel there are the bear-legger types.)
Until I can get this issue resolved, try right clicking your mouse on the photo and selecting “View image” from the menu. The pics will enlarge at least a little.
Note 2: My deepest thanks to all who’ve awarded this post those 5-Star ratings. This is very satisfying to me, as it shows how much you care about the work I’m doing here, and it’s very discouraging to me when you don’t.
This post is composed of 5,141 words, and the largest number of photos (20) I’ve ever used in one post. It takes a few days to write something like this, and a few more days to search, choose and insert just the right pictures to help tell this story. Thousands of you will read this post, and so far (the post has been up for about a month now), it has received (25) 5-Star ratings. If you like this post, please keep them coming.
Are you feeling something in the air these days? That crisp autumn breeze? You know what that means, right?
It’s time for some footballlllll.
With new head coaches, new coordinators, new venues, so many new rookies, free agents and traded players looking to make impacts for their teams, this should be another exciting season.
And the Rams are back where they belong in Los Angeles. So all is right and good in the NFL again.
Oh, and one more thing is new …
SNF opening theme song
Yes, the Sunday Night Football opening theme song is new this year (thank God, as I was getting sick of “Waitin’ all day for Sunday Night”), but naturally, one thing hasn’t changed.
For the third consecutive season now, Carrie Underwoodenhead will be prancing around on stage, this time in a couple of dresses that look like they belong in a sci-fi movie, flashing those bony, pasty white “bear” legs of hers.
And for the third season in a row, I am calling her on it here.
Ahead of Underwearer’s debut three seasons ago as the new performer of the SNF intro theme song, an advertisement touted that NBC’s Sunday Night Football would feature Carrie Underwood’s legs “to drive men nuts.”
Hey, men, are you nuts over her legs yet?
How are Carrie Underwood and an out-of-work school teacher alike?
What does Carrie Underwood have in common with Ariana Grande, Beyonce’, Jennifer Lopez, Katy Perry, Rhianna and Selena Gomez?
Nothing. Those others have the professionalism, class and elegance to grace their legs with sheer pantyhose on stage.
In what way are Carrie Underwood and singer-actress Cher connected?
“Gypsies, (Carrie Underwood) & Thieves” was a #1 single by Cher in 1971.
Yes, even young professional entertainers like Selena (among many, many others) have the good sense and class to wear sheer nude pantyhose on stage, yet, veteran performer Carrie Underdressed (who truly needs to wear pantyhose so much more than those younger ones do in the first place) still doesn’t get it.
And, as I wrote last season, the fact that SNF is like the biggest money maker for NBC against all other shows (and so is the NFL itself for that matter), it is unfathomable to me that the director or producer of the SNF intro theme song also doesn’t have the sense (or the guts) to tell Carrie Underwhelming that she should wear pantyhose.
During the past few years, the NFL has been cracking down on bad behavior by players, drumming into their heads that it is a privilege to play in the league. (Wake up, Colin Kaepernick and Johnny Manziel.) And on Thursday Night Football the other day, LB Brandon Marshall of the Denver Broncos was the only member of his team not to stand during the singing of the National Anthem before the first regular season NFL game between the host Broncos and the Carolina Panthers.
I was hoping head coach Gary Kubiak, or executive vice president of football operations and general manager John Elway would bench Marshall for the duration of the game. It was good to hear that head coach Jeff Fisher of the L.A. Rams would have. He said as much recently. I would have, too. One player isn’t bigger than the entire team and organization, and football is not a forum for voicing one’s personal, political or social agenda. Marshall might be a good linebacker, but in my mind, he isn’t a good team guy, which makes me wonder whether he’s not a good guy … period.
Sorry, had to get that out of my system (and it’s my blog, and I can say what I wannnnt). But, now, back to what this blog is all about …
The NFL, rightfully so, is image-conscious these days. So what makes Carrie Understated think that she is too good to do the right thing when representing the league and SNF?
I mean 27 out of 32 NFL teams have professional cheerleader squads who wear sheer nude or suntan pantyhose with their uniforms. (The Bears, Browns, Giants, Packers and Steelers don’t have cheerleaders.)
In honor of the Rams’ move back to Los Angeles, I tried to find a photo of the Rams cheerleaders performing during this year’s preseason. I found only one, but it was too small. So instead, here’s a high-resolution pic (above) of the Minnesota Vikings cheerleaders ushering in the contest, as the Vikes hosted the Rams in the teams’ fourth preseason game Thursday, Sept. 1.
Can you even imagine today’s NFL’s cheerleaders performing bear-legged?
Check out this photo (left), taken back when I guess there wasn’t color film. And weren’t pantyhose big in the 1970s?
Heck, today, many college football teams’ and even high school football teams’ cheerleaders have the professionalism and class to wear sheer pantyhose with their uniforms.
Yet, somehow, Carrie Underminer thinks she is above all that.
By the way, I thought of calling her Carrie Underdog, but Underdog is cute, and besides, even a dog hates bare legs (right).
Sooooo, another season in which I will enjoy Sunday Night Football but skip the intro theme song. Not that doing so will make any difference to anybody, but I can’t stand to look at Carrie Underperformer anyway, so at least, I’ll feel better.
The Rhodes home
A few seasons ago, I praised some of the female hosts/reporters, and Lindsay Rhodes (left), specifically, for wearing sheer pantyhose during episodes of NFL Network and NFL Total Access.
Then, Rhodes all of a sudden stopped wearing, and I stopped watching.
The other day, I tuned in to those shows again because of the start of the 2016 season and was pleased to see Lindsay wearing again (at least, during the episode I saw, but hopefully, she’s back to wearing all the time again.)
What? Major League Baseball teams have cheerleaders now? When did that happen?
I’ve been an NFL fan for, I don’t know, a hundred years or so, but MLB? Not so much. OK, practically, never. But when I can find nothing to watch on the 250 or so channels I have on DirecTV, occasionally, I’ll stop in on a baseball game.
And because of where I live, I always can get the Miami Marlins, and recently I was shocked (but quite pleased) to see the Energy Team, especially, since the girls all wear pantyhose with their uniforms.
According to the team’s website, the Energy Team is a high-vitality male and female squad who perform a unique mix of gymnastics, hip-hop, acrobatics, modern jazz, funk and break dancing to provide excitement and entertainment during Miami Marlins home games and appearances throughout the community.
Additionally, the site states the Energy Team is the only co-ed performance pep squad team in Major League Baseball.
To be sure, I Googled that and found that a few MLB teams have some kind of entertainment squads, but the photos showed that the girls on those teams are all bear-legged. Love that Miami sports organizations always show professionalism and class. Way to go, Energy Team!
OK, enough about sports. You’ve read a few times here that I usually decide what I’m going to watch on TV based upon what I believe (hope) is most likely to have pantyhose content in it.
I used to watch Dancing with the Stars, but after a few seasons I could no longer stand seeing professional ballroom dancers strutting around bear-legged. This aint hip-hop, people, it’s BALLROOM. Somehow, the DWTS version of ballroom missed the part about professionalism, class and elegance. I haven’t watched that ridiculous show since.
About 11 seasons ago, I started and am still watching America’s Got Talent even though the judges can be quite annoying, as their egos are so huge, they try to make the show mostly about themselves. Nevertheless, I always liked and miss the old variety shows that were big (I hear) in the 1960s and ‘70s, and AGT truly is a variety show.
Ostensibly, the show is about discovering the next great heretofore unknown super star, and the prize for winning is a headline show in Las Vegas and $1 million.
Seems each year, I fall in love with a few acts, which ultimately get cut, usually, toward the end of the season when audience members and viewers at home cast votes, rather than the judges. Such was the case with, Deadly Games, a husband and wife knife-throwing act. The act was cut during the semifinals.
AGT claims it is looking for an act that is Las Vegas-worthy, but the judges seem to favor singers. (Aren’t there enough stupid singing contest shows out there?)
Not only was Deadly Games exciting and extremely dangerous, the duo of Alfredo and Anna Silva was professional in every way. They stepped up the risk in each performance along their journey, always with a keen sense of timing and great showmanship. The couple were edgy in every way right down to their sexy costumes, and the beautiful and exotic Anna always wore pantyhose.
Deadly Games was made for Las Vegas, and they richly deserved to advance to the finals (and even win). I hope a professional agent contacts the Silvas and gives them their start.
Unfortunately, the AGT voting audience is likely mostly young people who cast their votes based on popularity and sympathy for each act’s personal back story, and they wouldn’t know (or apparently care) what a Vegas-worthy act is. Between the horse’s hiney judges who claim to “love” practically every act, yet, aren’t honest with the ones who really have no chance of winning (i.e., no talent), and these young audience voters who somehow think AGT is really American Idol in different packaging, singing acts seem to get all the love. This, while really truly Vegas-quality acts, such as Russian Bar, ThroWings, a husband and wife high wire act, and another of my favorites this season, a husband and wife act called Quick Change, get cut by goofball judges or unsophisticated audience voting.
Rather than try to explain the Quick Change act here, check out this video of the couple’s first audition:
Of course I love that Victoria always wore beautiful short dresses and pantyhose with every outfit. With Quick Change’s talent, I am sure they will find the fame and success they deserve.
I’ll leave you with this. In the dashboard behind my WordPress blog, I can see the search terms people entered that led them to my blog. One search phrase read: “Do Korean women wear pantyhose?”
Heck, that could be a future blog post for me, but for now, I’ll say this: Probably much of the world realizes that pantyhose are deeply rooted in Asian culture; none more so than in Japan, where wearing pantyhose is a must for reasons of courtesy, femininity and just the right thing to do. I think I love Japan.
I’ve also been following Korean professional models and Korean girl groups (singers/dancers/musicians), all of whom always wear sheer nude or suntan pantyhose on stage and during public appearances.
This picture (left) really caught my attention because … well, it’s really cute, and it shows how deeply seated pantyhose wearing truly is in Korea. So much so that the performer is perfectly comfortable showing the waistband and part of her pantyhose above her shorts.
While I’m not a big fan of fishnet pantyhose, I like this very sexy look. Thought you might like to see it, too.
Note: I noticed that none of the pictures here are expanding to a larger version when you click on them. I always post pics that are in very high resolution (the one of Selena Gomez is 3600 x 2179) for your viewing pleasure.
My blog account was recently updated automatically, and I haven’t figured everything out yet, but this pictures thing is very important to me, so please know I am working on it. For now, if you right click each picture and select View image, some will expand to, at least, a slightly bigger size.
Longtime readers here know I’ll come up with just about any excuse to shine the spotlight on pantyhose. Hey, that’s my job ya know.
Case in point: The movie, Suicide Squad (the latest in the DC Comics films series), which appears to feature its main character, Harley Quinn, wearing fishnet pantyhose (pretty much throughout), was No. 1 for a second weekend in a row (Aug. 5 to Aug. 14), pulling in $222.6 million, according to Box Office Mojo. This, after posting an August-record $133.7 million opening.
So far, Suicide Squad has earned $466 million globally.
Notice above I wrote “appears” to feature its main character wearing fishnet pantyhose. That’s because I haven’t actually seen the movie yet.
Still, there are many promotional photos out there, in which Australian actress Margot Robbie wears some red or purple briefs over torn fishnet pantyhose. While I am not a huge fan of fishnets, my philosophy (as you’ve read here for years) is: Any kind of pantyhose are better than “bear” legs.
I don’t know much about Margot Robbie. Check that … I don’t know anything about Robbie. In fact, until I saw the TV ads for Suicide Squad and looked up the cast, I hadn’t heard of her. So, I don’t know whether or not she’s really very pantyhose friendly, but a quick Google search seems to indicate, well, not exactly.
To her credit though, earlier this year, Robbie was photographed after landing in London from a flight out of Los Angeles, wearing a black skort (combination of skirt and shorts) with sheer black pantyhose.
Also, in a photo from Suicide Squad, it looks as if Robbie might have on sheer nude pantyhose during an interview scene, in which she wears a more business-like outfit with a white lab coat (below left).
At least on this occasion, Margot Robbie arrives earlier this year at Heathrow Airport in London, England.
I say she might be wearing because the picture isn’t in the highest resolution and the lighting is a bit dim.
Anyway, I hope she’s wearing in that scene.
As the chances of my actually going to see Suicide Squad are slim to you-must-be-joking, if you see this movie, please tell me whether Robbie is wearing in that scene.
Since I have no one who would be interested in seeing this film with me, I will wait until it arrives on the DirecTV movie channels.
Oh, and if I did go out to see this movie, I of course, would be wearing a dress, heels and sheer nude pantyhose.
I was happy to see that, once again, the ladies of the China delegation wore sheer nude pantyhose during the Parade of Nations ceremony at the 2016 Olympics in Rio De Janeiro, Brazil.
I didn’t see the delegations of Japan or Korea, but a Google search showed that those nations’ women did not wear pantyhose. In all fairness though, that could be because their ladies wore slacks and blazers. Haaaaaaa
All the U.S. delegation members wore white slacks and blue blazers.
Still, I love that China treats the Olympics ceremonies as a formal occasion, and the ladies always wear skirts, pumps and sheer nude pantyhose.
For some time now, I’ve noticed during ATP and WTA tennis tournaments when the camera pans the crowd, there are a couple of beautiful ladies in skirt suits standing at each of the entrances/exits throughout the different stadiums. They are always wearing sheer nude or suntan pantyhose and look quite awesome.
They are the flight attendants or air hostesses of United Emirates Airlines.
According to About.com, “Emirates is the national airline of Dubai, the United Arab Emirates city-state that has become the Middle East’s luxury playground.”
Lately, the Emirates air hostesses themselves are becoming luxuriously legendary. Check out this awesome video I stumbled upon a while back.
It was shot in May this year, when the Los Angeles Dodgers baseball team hosted the Cincinnati Reds, and Dodgers pitching legend Orel Hershiser came onto the field to throw out the ceremonial first pitch.
It’s a short video (definitely worth your time to view it), and I am so impressed with the cute and clever theme. That, and the fact that the Emirates ladies pulled it off so beautifully and wonderfully.
Lovely ad lady
I gotta say I really hate stupid car (and truck) TV commercials, but I can handle the Toyota ones featuring the receptionist, Jan, who has all the right answers for consumers who come in to the dealership.
Jan is played by Laurel Coppock, a professional model and actress who has appeared on TV shows and, at least, one movie. When Toyota first introduced the character, Jan, she was either behind a desk or on the showroom floor wearing slacks.
Lately though, Jan has been on the showroom floor, flashing some shapely legs in short dresses, pumps and sheer nude pantyhose. Seems Toyota realized what they have in Coppock and they wisely are delivering a great message to those most interested in car commercials — men.
I don’t know about men (but I’ll bet I’m right here), when I see those commercials, all I focus on is Jan. I miss whatever message I’m supposed to receive about the automobiles and the deals.
I want to praise Coppock for wearing pantyhose with those attractive outfits, but as always, who knows whether she wants to wear them, or Toyota wants her to? You guys know I’m always all over these things, so what did I do? That’s right, I Googled her to see whether she is a devoted pantyhose wearer or not. Looks like not.
I couldn’t find a single picture of her wearing pantyhose, other than as the character, Jan. And you guys likely know what my next point is going to be: When Coppock sees how incredible she looks in those Toyota commercials, why wouldn’t she want to look that fabulous all the time?
We can only hope that Coppock will see the light and start channeling Jan in future appearances everywhere else she lands.
How many times have you read here that fashion is inspired by Hollywood? That was really just my own observation. I wasn’t sure whether or not that is really an accurate statement, but it’s my blog and I say what I waaaaaaaant.
I’ve been saying here since 2009 that the few (now many) Hollywood actresses and the scores of professional singers/performers who almost always wear sheer pantyhose during their shows would eventually help to bring pantyhose back.
But when a respected fashion designer has her professional models gliding down the runway, rocking the sheer pantyhose, that can be nothing but a very good sign don’t you think?
It’s in print
I was very pleased to see this piece in the The Saline Courier, an online version of the daily newspaper based in Benton, AR, and covering all of Saline County since 1876.
The publication’s Senior Editor, Lynda Hollenbeck, wrote a great editorial encouraging the return to fashion of sheer pantyhose, along with our common sense.
And while InStyle led the series off with a picture of Lynda Carter as Wonder Woman, they actually ranked her Number 4 behind (1.) Jennifer Garner as Elektra, (2.) Christian Bale as Bruce Wayne/Batman, (3.) Chris Pratt as Peter Quill of Guardians of the Galaxy. At Number 5, was Will Smith as John Hancock.
Here’s what they wrote:
(4.) Lynda Carter as Wonder Woman, Wonder Woman TV series
“When Lynda Carter started playing Wonder Woman on TV in 1975, the role would forever be changed. Nerdy Diana Prince turns into va-va-voom Wonder Woman with a simple spin, losing the glasses and button-ups for a revealing and patriotic one-piece. And Carter’s super-toned bod?”
The Best Act
For those of you who are off the grid (not customers, so not on our email list) and didn’t get the memo, we are running a summer promotion. Buy six pairs in any shade(s) and size(s) of our New Act IV and receive 30% off through Sept. 15.
Just enter code sumpro30 at Checkout.
Sorry, our new vice president is a veteran marketing exec, and she made me add this notice. I’ll introduce her in a future post.
Incidentally, applying the code can be a bit confusing. The first time you’ll see “Apply Coupon” is on the Shopping Cart page. Don’t bother clicking that. It won’t do anything. Instead, apply your coupon code at the Checkout page, which comes up next in the process.
You’ll see this: “Have a coupon? Click here to enter your code.” (Just click on that link, fill in the code in the little window that appears, and then click the “Apply Coupon” box.) You will see an indication that you’ve applied your code successfully.
If you have any difficulty, please let me know via email. Actually, you can’t go wrong because even if you don’t take the discount, I will see that and simply refund the difference back to your PayPal account.
Pantyhose alive and well
Every day, I get emails and comments here from readers who still lament the fact that pantyhose seem to be all but gone from the landscape. Not true, I say. If you really look, you will see pantyhose appearing everywhere these days.
Now, here are some extra pics that didn’t fit anywhere else in this post. Enjoy!
A series of pics of Australian actress Margot Robbie as the DC Comics character, Harley Quinn, in Suicide Squad, which opened earlier this month …
As my loyal readers know, besides their comments here, I receive tons of private emails concerning everything you can imagine about pantyhose (but, almost always clean and classy, which I appreciate).
Naturally, I’m always interested in hearing the views of others, so I am open to receiving unexpected emails or letters to our P.O. Box.
But nothing could have prepared me for the note that was slipped under my door recently. It was like a scene from the X-Files. It’s almost midnight and I’m still working alone in my office.
With the place dimly lit, I notice an ominous shadow cast under the door jam. I’m a little anxious. Who’d be calling on me at this hour? This can’t be good. Then, a note is slid under my door and the shadow just as suddenly disappears.
Typically, I don’t get too excited about a hand-delivered note as long as it’s not a bill or a jury summons.
But this had a strange sense of urgency about it, so I read it at once. Hand-scrawled on scrap paper, it read:
“Dear Rob (I was surprised, as only my closest friends call me Rob),
If you consider yourself a responsible journalist, you won’t pass up the opportunity to expose the discrimination and repression that has been wrought against beardom for the past zillion years or so.”
It was signed simply: The Grizzly
At first, I thought the whole thing was a prank, but the next day an invitation came via a text message (how do these people get my number?) with a time and date to meet The Grizzly at his office (I didn’t know Grizzly bears even have offices) for an exclusive interview. I have to admit, I was filled with some level of trepidation. What could The Grizzly want with me? Was this about my poaching Sarah Jessica Parker — his signature client in his “bear” legs cause? Did he want a piece of me?
So, I reread the note. Yes, he wanted a piece alright. The Grizzly was inviting me to write a piece about … what did he call it … oh, yes, the discrimination and repression of beardom. Hmmmm, my arch enemy was reaching out to me to shed light on an issue that was troubling not only him, but “all of beardom.” (I hadn’t realized there’s a beardom.)
While I probably should have thought better of the idea, the curiosity was too much for me to “bear” (yuk yuk), so I accepted the invitation, and a limousine arrived for me the next morning. Wow, The Grizzly certainly has a sense of class and style, sending a limo for me. And it was a nice ride to a more well-to-do neighborhood than I expected.
The entrance and driveway were impressive enough, and then I looked up at a very large and really tall house before The Grizzly came out to meet me. I was shocked at how big this guy really is. Must be 14 feet tall, and I couldn’t even begin to guess how much he weighs. I was certain my kung fu would be of no use against such a specimen. I had willingly walked into the bear’s domain and was on my own now.
To my relief, The Grizzly was quite formal and engaging. He invited me into his office. He called it the den. (I thought that was clever.) It was warm and cozy, kind of like a man cave, only he’s a Grizzly, so I’d have to say it was a bear cave. He took a seat in the den in a plush chair that probably should have been a lot bigger.
He got right to the point:
“Being The Grizzly is no picnic,” he said.
I stifled a giggle. “No picnic.” That was cute. Bears certainly are linked to picnics, I thought, and I couldn’t stop this image from forming in my head. But somehow he must have gotten that same image because in his version, the bear’s picnic basket was packed generously with ActSensuous pantyhose for food.
“Don’t get me wrong,” he continued. “I mean, yeah, I’m at the top of the food chain and all in my world. But people are really missing the point here. If it weren’t for my role as champion of the bare legs cause, no one would care about bears.”
“Wait a minute, you mean you represent that ugly subculture of women who hate pantyhose just for the attention,” I asked?
“Oh, it’s all PR,” he said. “I do it strictly for the image.”
“Seriously, Grizzly bears have an image problem,” I asked?
“Think about it,” he said. “What kind of images do you associate with bears?”
He was right. The first thing that came to my mind was hunting. Then, all kinds of terrible thoughts hit me, such as a mounted bear inside a cabin at a resort, and those huge bear skin rugs in front of fireplaces.
“Come to think of it, there are a lot of dreadful things humans associate with bears,” I admitted, swallowing hard.
“Yeah, well, that aint the half of it, sister,” he said. “Bears have been pushed around, disrespected and abused since time immemorial.
So, look, you showed up, proving you’re a responsible journalist after all. You want to hear my story, and will you print it in your blog?”
I agreed. And so the interview began. And, being true to my part of the agreement, here is the transcript of the interview between myself and The Grizzly:
Interview with The Grizzly
Robin: So, you’re saying bears have always had it bad?
Grizzly: Oh yeah, we get no respect. Never have. From always being depicted as the bad guys in movies, to being falsely accused of terrorizing campers … heck, just in everyday life, you humans are always dissing bears.
Robin: Really, always in everyday life? Gimme an example.
Grizzly: How much time you got? There are so many examples. Take everyday phrases you people say, using my species’ namesake. They’re all negative: There’s “Bear with me” when you’re taking too long to accomplish something. There’s “I can’t bear it” when you’re dealing with a hardship. There’s “bear down” when you’re taking on a difficult project. And then, there’s my all-time favorite: “Does a bear sh** in the woods?”
Robin: (Again, I tried not to laugh, remembering I had said after reading The Grizzly’s note in my office: “… the curiosity was too much for me to bear.”)
Robin: Well, I’m not sure you had to include that last one, but OK, I’ll give you that there are many things people say that have a negative connotation toward bears, although really, they’re not intended that way. Still, there’s at least one positive “bear” phrase you should like.
Grizzly: Yeah, what’s that?
Robin: “I come bearing gifts.”
Grizzly: I come baring legs.
Robin: Haaaaaaa, good one!
Grizzly: Sorry, couldn’t resist. You walked right in to that one.
Robin: Yeah, I tend to do that. I mean, I’m here, aint I? But, really, not all movies make you the bad guy.
Grizzly: Name one that doesn’t.
Robin: Everybody loves Baloo the Bear in the movie, The Jungle Book. “Look for the bear necessities …”
Grizzly: Please stopping singing that. I won’t be able to get that song out of my head for weeks now. Anyway, humans think that movie is cute, but at its essence, it’s embarrassing at best to bears.
Robin: Really? Sorry to hear that. OK, what about Smoky the Bear? He’s certainly a good guy. He ought to be a role model for all bears. Heck, you’ve got a poster of him on your wall there.
Grizzly: He’s … what’s the word I’m looking for … oh yeah, slow.
Grizzly: Alright, he’s not slow really. But we bears don’t care for him. He’s a little too chummy with you humans.
Robin: OK, that’s a bit disturbing to hear, especially now. I think he’s a positive and endearing figure. We humans love Smoky the Bear.
Grizzly: Remember, only YOU can prevent forest rangers!
Robin: Uh, that’s forest fires.
Grizzly: That’s not how we bears say it.
Robin: OK, now I’m really nervous. On to a different subject. Could it be that you’re too defensive about your role in pop culture?
Grizzly: Look, bears have had a bad rap since as far back as the 1800s when that libelous story first came out about three bears and some snot-nosed little brat.
Robin: Goldilocks and the Three Bears? Oh, c’mon, that’s one of the most popular fairy tales of all time.
Grizzly: Well, it didn’t start out that way. You should Google that title.
Robin: (The Grizzly uses Google?)
Grizzly: Originally, the Goldilocks character was an old hag who busted into a bear family’s cottage all uninvited you know. Today, that’s known as a home invasion. Then, she had the nerve to eat up their porridge and try to stay. Nowadays, you call that squatting. And then, when the bear family comes home, she freaks out and bolts, accidentally falling to her death. But, it was the bears who got the blame for that, and we’ve been the bad guys ever since.
Robin: Yeah, but another author came along later and changed the old hag character into a pretty little girl with golden hair who was actually treated more hospitably by the three bears. What about that?
Grizzly: Oh, sure, that innocent little girl. She broke into the bear family’s cottage, ate up their porridge, broke Baby Bear’s chair and then slept in Papa Bear’s bed. Little brat probably even peed in the bed. Yet, she’s the hero. Little kids all over the world grow up thinking it’s OK to take advantage of bears, all because Goldilocks became a star.
Robin: Well, it’s just a fairy tale. And, I’d hardly call her a star. In fact, for the most part, Goldilocks has been all but forgotten for years.
Grizzly: Not by bears. We’re reminded of her every time we see a Chevy Chase movie co-starring that blonde who just so happens to be a direct descendant of Goldilocks.
Robin: Who’s that?
Grizzly: You know … Goldie Hawn.
Robin: Ohhhhh, Goldilocks/Goldie Hawn. I get it.
Grizzly: She had it all, that Goldie Hawn. Beauty, talent, brains, and she was funny as heck. And she really was a star. And, I’m sure you love the fact that she was a devoted pantyhose wearer in her day.
Robin: Well, sure, I loved Goldie Hawn for all her talent and especially because she always wore sheer suntan or nude pantyhose in every movie of hers I ever saw.
But you ought to feel a little vindicated by the fact that Goldie’s actress daughter, Kate Hudson, doesn’t seem to share her mother’s sense of professionalism, class and good taste, to say nothing of femininity. Shame, too, because the few times she does wear sheer pantyhose, she looks amazing. But for now anyway, it certainly seems she’s more likely to be seen bear-legged.
Grizzly: When you write up the transcript of this interview, how are you going to spell what you just said there?
Robin: What, bear-legged? Uh, b a r e …
Robin: Heh heh heh. Well, speaking of that, you mentioned earlier that you champion the whole bear-legs cause just for the PR. How’s that been working out for you?
Grizzly: During the mid-to-late ‘90s and the entire decade of 2000, it rocked to be The Grizzly. I mean, bare legs was all the rage. Women everywhere were wearing fabulous dresses or skirts, designer shoes with beautiful pedicures and then completely ruining the outfits with their bare legs. That was awesome! It really looked ridiculous, but they were all brainwashed. They even dressed that way at the office. Heck, even to weddings and funerals. Suddenly, bears were getting the love we always deserved.
Robin: Wait, you just said that the bear-legs look was ridiculous. Does that mean you really don’t hate pantyhose?
Grizzly: No-no, not at all. I love pantyhose. They taste great. They’re my main source of fiber these days. C’mon, you’ve seen the pics. You’ve published them in your blog. Bears everywhere love ripping pantyhose — especially your brand — to shreds.
Listen, I’ve got a whole new image to uphold these days. I told you, I’m in this campaign for the good publicity. If women want to bare their legs in even the most professional or formal of venues, no matter how awful they look, that’s just good for business as far as I’m concerned?
Robin: I’ve never been able to figure out how so many women throughout the world lost their minds this way.
Grizzly: Oh, you called it from the beginning: It was that whole Sex and the City thing that gave women the idea they could stop wearing pantyhose, coinciding with the casualization of the office in general. This just got women all over the world to jump on that bandwagon until bare legs turned into pop culture. I told you: Humans are easily influenced by a good story and a convincing actress.
Robin: Yeah, you really did have a pretty good run there with Sarah Jessica Parker, didn’t you?
Grizzly: You really shouldn’t remind me about that while you’re in The Grizzly’s den. But, yeah, we had a good thing going for a while there. She had women everywhere fooled for a long time. I still can’t believe you stole my best client.
Robin: Well, I didn’t really steal her from you. I merely set the record straight. She was just playing a part on TV and in the movies. But it became clear that in real life, she wasn’t truly the pantyhose hater everyone thought she was. I had to give her Credit ‘wear’ Credit is Due.
Grizzly: I gotta admit: It hurt losing SJP. I thought we were close.
Robin: I did feel a little bad about that. But it was touching to see how you tried so hard to win her back. Very romantic you were.
Grizzly: Yeah, I’ll miss her. She and I were good together.
Robin: Actually, I always thought your true signature client was Stacy London. I see you’ve got that picture of the two of you on your table there.
And, boy, does Stacy London deserve it. Still, SJP was a bigger star. And the damage she did, whether intentionally or not, was good enough to sustain the bare-legs cause for probably a while to come still.
Robin: You might be right about that, but surely, you’ve noticed that it’s been more and more difficult for me to find a celebrity who’s truly deserving of The Grizzly Awards.
Grizzly: I have noticed that. And don’t call me Shirley.
Robin: Good gosh, who knew The Grizzly has a sense of humor?
Grizzly: Hey, I told you: It’s all about the PR, and humor is my calling card. But to answer your question, yes, membership in the bare legs club definitely has waned recently. I mean there are still a few celebs who — since the opportunity to not wear was created in the first place — probably will never wear pantyhose again. I’ll go through my Rolodex and send you some names.
Robin: Really, you’d do that for me? Wow, what a guy. Wait a minute, you have a Rolodex?
Grizzly: Hey, you know the saying: “Keep your friends close, and your enemies over for dinner.” Or, something like that.
Robin: Uhhhhh, let’s be friends, not enemies, shall we?
Grizzly: You really shouldn’t consider me the enemy. After all, I made you.
Robin: Uhhhhhh, I’m sorry, come again?
Grizzly: C’mon, your blog would be just another pile of dull crap about pantyhose on the Internet if it weren’t for The Grizzly Awards and your whole “bear” legs thing. I have to admit, that was very clever.
Robin: Yeah, thanks, but I don’t know about that whole “you made me thing.” I kinda think I’ve made you. If you weren’t the face (or the legs, actually) of the “bear”-legs franchise, what would you being doing right now … stealing pic-i-nic baskets?
Grizzly: Oh, that was low …
Robin: Hey, it’s one more example of how you’re wrong about humans’ feelings toward bears. Everyone loves Yogi, ya know.
Grizzly: Uh, yeah, he’s a bit slow, too.
Robin: Oh boy! OK, let’s get back to the fact that it’s increasingly difficult for me to find a celebrity today who is truly deserving of The Grizzly Awards because even if one thinks of her as a bear legger, at least occasionally, she can be seen wearing pantyhose. I don’t want to be thought of as unjustly attacking a celebrity who might be loved by many in either the pantyhose or the bear-legs camps. It would be too easy for someone to counter with: “Wait a minute, look at this picture: She was wearing pantyhose for this occasion, or at that venue.” I could lose credibility if I pick on someone who does wear at least once in a while.
Grizzly: No, no, no, you gotta go with the percentages, kiddo. There are still quite a few celebs out there who wear pantyhose out and about — and I know how much you love that — but then, they go bare-legged to a formal ceremony, such as The Oscars or The Grammy Awards. And I know how much you hate that.
Robin: Exactly. I truly hate that.
Grizzly: So present them with The Grizzly Awards already.
Robin: I would, but sometimes the lines are a bit blurred. It’s tough to tell who’s who in this contest.
Grizzly: C’mon, you know who these people are. I know a part of you feels it would be the right thing to do to hand out The Grizzly Award to Sandra Oh. Am I right? You know I’m right. You really do want to give Sandra Oh the coveted Grizzly Award, don’t you? It’s OK, you can say it. Everyone knows you do. You never see that chick in pantyhose, but you’re torn because the few times she did wear in the past, you think she looked amazing, and you loved her, and now you don’t want to make her look bad.
Robin: Man, you got me pegged. How do you know these things? Who’ve you been talking with?
Grizzly: Hellooooo, I read your blog, ya know. Want me to name others just like Sandra Oh?
Robin: Oh, please do. Wait, you read my blog? What a day this is turning into. The things I’m learning here.
Grizzly: OK, buckle your seatbelt. This aint gonna be pretty. You will not like some of these, but if you’re honest, you’ll have to admit I’m right.
Robin: Go for it.
Grizzly: Let’s just stay on the whole Asian theme. Your beloved Asian actresses you think are so wonderful. Here we go: Bai Ling, Devon Aoki, Gong Li, Jamie Cheung, Joan Chen, Lucy Liu, Maggie Q, Michelle Yeoh — that’s right, I said Michelle Yeoh. That one particularly hurts, doesn’t it?
Robin: Yes, that one really kills me. And the others hurt too.
Grizzly: But wait, there’s more: Jun Ji-hyun, Marie Matiko (has she ever worn a pair of pantyhose in her entire life?), Moon Bloodgood, Olivia Munn, Uhm Jung-hwa.
Robin: Stop, stop already. I love all of them, and they’ve each been known to wear pantyhose so beautifully, at least once in a while. You’re cruel.
Grizzly: Talk to the paw, Honey, talk to the paw. I just call ‘em as I see ‘em.
Robin: Well, you are right about Marie Matiko. I have never ever seen a single picture of her wearing pantyhose. And that is so strange, as she is Japanese and wearing sheer pantyhose is practically the law in Japan. I guess Marie Matiko is too Americanized to care.
But including Jun Ji-hyun (aka Jun Ji-hyeon, aka Gianna Jun) on your list is baffling to me. Ji-Hyun wears pantyhose 10 times more frequently than all of those actresses you mentioned combined. With me, she’ll always get credit for her starring role in the movie Blood: The Last Vampire (above), as she wore sheer nude pantyhose with her Japanese schoolgirl outfit. (Note: Jun Ji-hyun, featured in this blog a few years ago, actually is Korean.)
But, here’s the thing: She often appears wearing sheer pantyhose while attending press conferences (right) and movie premiers, and when performing in television commercials.
And if that weren’t enough, she’s also a professional model who almost always wears sheer pantyhose to cover some of the biggest international fashion magazines (below).
Yes, I love Jun Ji-hyun.
Grizzly: Yeah, yeah … OK, fine. I’ll give you that one. I can understand why you’re so high on her.
She does seem to do everything right in your world.
Robin: Yes, she really is a class act in every way. She is a very popular actress, beloved for her romantic comedies, which is why it was a such a surprise that she starred in Blood: The Last Vampire, and did an excellent job transitioning into a physical/martial arts genre.
And she certainly sets a great example for younger Asian celebs, who might otherwise attempt to emulate the way Hollywood celebrities dress.
Robin: OK, so can we stop now?
Robin: Thank you.
Grizzly: Kelly Hu.
Grizzly: Kelly H … Oh, OK, I see. You got me with that one. Niiiiiiiiice.
Robin: Sorry, couldn’t resist. Yeah, Kelly Hu — a gorgeous woman with great legs. Such a waste that she seems to never have heard of the word, pantyhose. Sure, there’s the extremely rare time when she wears black tights or fishnets with high boots, but that doesn’t count in my book. Why hide those legs in pantyhose under boots?
Grizzly: See what I mean? You’ve got a lot of choices to hand out a Grizzly Award. Want me to name the non-Asian celebs now?
Grizzly: Amy Adams, Angelina Jolie, Eva Longoria, Gabrielle Anwar, Jennifer Aniston, Julianna Margulies, Leah Remini, Mila Kunis, Morena Baccarin, Rachel McAdams, Renee Zellweger, Robin Tuney, Sandra Bullock, Sarah Michelle Gellar, Sarah Shahi, Teri Hatcher, Yancy Butler …
Robin: But …
Robin: OK, fine. Darn, those are some good names on your list. What happened to them? Of course, pantyhose lovers are happy that Julianna Margulies wears sheer nude pantyhose on The Good Wife, but she never wears during a late night talk show, and I’m guessing never to an awards show, or even when she’s out and about. That means she wears on The Good Wife only because she has to. If it were up to her, I’m sure she wouldn’t wear on that show.
Grizzly: Now you’re getting it. You’ve just been looking at it all wrong.
Robin: Oh my goodness, I’m so confused now.
Grizzly: Listen, just because you’ve seen each one of them wear pantyhose in the past, or even recently on a TV show, or in a movie, you have to look at their complete body of work. Most of them, left to their own devices, are going to go bare-legged. There really are a few of them who most definitely deserve to receive The Grizzly Award. In fact, I’ve got one I am sure you’ve never thought of, whom I would venture to say has never worn pantyhose a day in her whole life.
Robin: Really? Oh, do tell, do tell.
Grizzly: I don’t want to spoil it for your readers by mentioning her here now. Tell you what … I’ll text you later, and you’ll agree with me. Then, she can be your next recipient of The Grizzly Awards.
Robin: Oh, c’mon, just give me a hint? (Wait a minute … The Grizzly can text?)
Grizzly: OK, sure. Actually, it might be fun for your readers. They know these things. In fact, they’ve probably already thought of this one. She’s an actress in her mid-30s and her initials are JB. I guarantee you won’t be able to find a single picture of her in sheer pantyhose.
Robin: Really? Can’t wait to learn who this one is.
Grizzly: Yeah, and here’s another candidate for you. Her initials are BB.
Robin: Game show host?
Robin: Yeah, I hate her. She’s gorgeous, but totally unprofessional. She never wears. She definitely deserves to receive The Grizzly Award. Actually, I wish Grizzlies would just eat her. No one I know would mind if a Grizzly just devoured her.
Readers, know the celebs (JB and BB) The Grizzly and Robin are talking about? Tell us who they are via email (email@example.com), and if you’re right, win one or two free pairs of ActSensuous pantyhose.
Receive one free pair for correctly naming one celebrity; get two free pairs for correctly naming both.
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Grizzly: Now you’re coming around. You’ve been too nice, especially, when it comes to the borderline types. I say even though they used to be consistent pantyhose-wearers, if they have been seen more often bare-legged, they’re fair game for you.
Robin: Geez, you’re right, Grizz. I really don’t understand some of these people.
Grizzly: Hey, listen, they don’t call it Hollyweird for nothing. (Grizz? Only my closest friends call me Grizz.)
Rob: OK, now on the other hand … check that … on the other paw (snicker), who would you say are some of the more famous celebrities who never bought in to the bear-legs culture from the get-go, or at least the ones who most consistently wear pantyhose for all the right reasons.
Grizz: Oh, you gotta go with Anne Hathaway, Christine Baransky, Christie Brinkley, Jessica Alba, Kim Basinger, Katie Holmes, Megan Fox, Meredith Vieira, Milla Jovovich, Nicole Kidman, Penelope Cruz, Salma Hayek, Sofia Vergara, Zooey Deschanel, and of course, that gal named Kate who’s now in England.
Rob: Oh, yes, Kate Middleton should get a Nobel Peace Prize for practically bringing pantyhose back from the grave. That’s very good. You really know your celebs.
Grizz: Rosario Dawson.
Rob: I’m sorry …
Grizz: Rosario Dawson.
Rob: Oh my goodness, you are soooooo right again. She is extremely classy all the time. I don’t think she ever bought in to that whole bear-legs deal. That lovely woman always wears the most sheer, sexy pantyhose and looks absolutely stunning in them.
Note: Well, that’s what I thought anyway. In doing a search on the Internet for a current picture to use here, I didn’t see one new picture of Rosario wearing pantyhose since the many I had filed away during the past few years. That makes me wonder whether she ultimately gave in to the pressure from other bear-legged celebrities. That would be such a shame.
Grizz: Now, listen: I’ve given up some good leads for those who deserve consideration for your Credit “wear” Credit is Due feature. That, and because you stole my signature client away from me, it’s time for a little quid pro quo here. I want the name of the celebrity you feel is the most devoted bare-legger, the one you hate the most, to replace SJP as my signature client. C’mon, give it up. Who’s my next recipient of the prestigious Grizzly Awards?
Rob: OK, sure, that’s fair. Here’s a hint for you: Her first name is the same as the main character on that show that is generally credited with starting the bear-legs movement.
Grizz: OK, Carrie Bradshaw of Sex and the City. Carrie … Carrie … Ohhhhhhhh, Carrie Underwood. Yeah, good one. I’ll take her. That’s a great trade.
Rob: Yeah, I really hate that bimbo. How unprofessional of her to perform the Sunday Night Football theme song in bear legs and cowboy boots in back-to-back seasons. And, in every appearance she makes on other shows I’ve seen, she does the whole bear legs thing. That one has zero class. You can have her and keep her. And please eat her, too. I don’t ever want to have to look at those pasty white bony legs of hers again.
Grizz: OK, done. By the way, I will say this: You’ve definitely nailed the one young celeb who really deserves all the praise you’ve heaped upon her and the huge amount of love for how devoted to pantyhose she is.
Rob: Oh, I know who you’re talking about — Ariana
Grizz: Grande. Yes, l can foresee her causing me all kinds of trouble in my efforts to recruit future bare-leggers. She is a gem in your camp. How can a girl that young have so much professionalism, class, grace and femininity during a time when your young people prefer to dress like homeless people? Does she have stock in your company? Be honest, you’ve bought her, right?
Rob: Haaaaa, I would have, but no, she’s done this completely on her own. I’m as amazed as you are. She certainly appears to be the real deal, and I hope she stays that way because right now, she’s one in a million. I know pantyhose lovers everywhere appreciate Ariana for her devotion to wearing sheer pantyhose, not only on stage, but at publicity functions, most often at awards shows, and even just out and about. She is setting such a good example for her young fans, and like Kate Middleton, Ariana, might some day be credited with helping pantyhose make a comeback. Yes, she is almost too good to be true.
Grizz: Exactly, too good to be true. So enjoy her while you can.
Rob: Wait. What do you mean by that?
Grizz: Oh you know as well as I do that good things like her don’t last forever. You’ll see. Whatever it is that causes her to dress so nicely and wear sheer pantyhose is likely to change some day, and then I will be there to scoop her up. She’ll be my new prized client.
Rob: Now that would be a real shame. I hope you’re wrong. OK, now here’s one more thing I’ve been dying to ask you about. Hope you’re ready because this one hits close to home.
Grizz: Fire away …
Rob: What’s with so many celebs, professional models and even everyday ladies from all over the world wearing pantyhose while hobnobbing with bears? I would have thought you’d forbid “beardom” (love that word) from partaking in such debauchery. Yet, it’s out there. Some very beautiful ladies wearing pantyhose while snuggling with bears.
Grizz: Oh, sure, throw that in my face.
Rob: Warned ya.
Grizz: I’ll have to see it to believe it.
Rob: You will when you see my finished piece. I think you’ll find it disturbing, this trend of beautiful models and other celebs getting all lovey dovey with bears.
Grizz: I’ll tell you right now, those must be rogue bears who are not part of the union. I can’t be held accountable for their actions.
Rob: Well, I like the pics because they bring closer those who should be enemies. Kind of like you and me, Grizz.
Grizz: Don’t push it, Rob. I haven’t eaten yet and I’m as hungry as a bear.
And with that, the interview ended and Grizz walked me out, stopping in the family room this time where he proudly showed off his family portrait.
And don’t think I didn’t notice all the other bear memorabilia in the room where Grizz’s cubs play, including the Goldilocks and the Three Bears dolls, the books, and all the Chicago Bears fan stuff.
In any case, what I had feared would be an uncomfortable meeting turned out to be anything but. The Grizzly was professional and classy. He was even cute and charming. I left feeling like I’d made a new friend. But I ain’t going out to eat with him. That’s for sure.
As I was getting in the limo to return to my office, I thought of my best question, so I blurted out:
“Hey, Grizz. If bears have had it so bad for so long, how are you able to live in a great house like this and have a limo driver at your disposal?”
“When it’s important to maintain a big image these days, one must diversify,” he said. “That’s why I invented these a long time ago.”
Gummy Bears! Wouldn’t you just know it? And I had been feeling sorry for Grizz. Looks like he’s in the game for the long haul, just like me. And that’s a good thing. We are good for one another.
My thanks to J. Aton of ATON DIGITAL STUDIOS for his original artwork for ActSensuous. Check out J. Aton’s artist website and online portfolio atwww.atondigitalstudios.com
Pantyhose babes hobnobbing with bears
Unidentified young lady wearing pantyhose teases bear
Unidentified young lady in pantyhose lounges with her bear
Unidentified young lady wearing pantyhose smooches her bear
Unidentified bear lover wearing pantyhose gives a bear hug
Unidentified performer in sheer pantyhose tames a bear
Chinese star Lin Xiao Nuo is content in the company of bears
Korean professional model Lee Eun Hye holds her bear closely
Korean Professional model Lee Eun Hye cozies up to a bear
Korean professional model So Yeon Yang hugs her bear
Korean professional model Jung Jung Ah plays with her bear
Korean professional model Im So Yeon loves on her bear
Im So Yeon snuggles with her bear
Im So Yeon lies with her happy bear
Im So Yeon pouts with her bear
A bear takes a back seat to Korean professional model Han Ga Eun. Anyone would.
Unidentified Korean professional model has a leg up on her bear