Are you feeling something in the air these days? That crisp autumn breeze? You know what that means, right?
It’s time for some footballlllll.
With new head coaches, new coordinators, new venues, so many new rookies, free agents and traded players looking to make impacts for their teams, this should be another exciting season.
And the Rams are back where they belong in Los Angeles. So all is right and good in the NFL again.
Oh, and one more thing is new …
SNF opening theme song
Yes, the Sunday Night Football opening theme song is new this year (thank God, as I was getting sick of “Waitin’ all day for Sunday Night”), but naturally, one thing hasn’t changed.
For the third consecutive season now, Carrie Underwoodenhead will be prancing around on stage, this time in a couple of dresses that look like they belong in a sci-fi movie, flashing those bony, pasty white “bear” legs of hers.
And for the third season in a row, I am calling her on it here.
Ahead of Underwearer’s debut three seasons ago as the new performer of the SNF intro theme song, an advertisement touted that NBC’s Sunday Night Football would feature Carrie Underwood’s legs “to drive men nuts.”
Hey, men, are you nuts over her legs yet?
How are Carrie Underwood and an out-of-work school teacher alike?
What does Carrie Underwood have in common with Ariana Grande, Beyonce’, Jennifer Lopez, Katy Perry, Rhianna and Selena Gomez?
Nothing. Those others have the professionalism, class and elegance to grace their legs with sheer pantyhose on stage.
In what way are Carrie Underwood and singer-actress Cher connected?
“Gypsies, (Carrie Underwood) & Thieves” was a #1 single by Cher in 1971.
Yes, even young professional entertainers like Selena (among many, many others) have the good sense and class to wear sheer nude pantyhose on stage, yet, veteran performer Carrie Underdressed (who truly needs to wear pantyhose so much more than those younger ones do in the first place) still doesn’t get it.
And, as I wrote last season, the fact that SNF is like the biggest money maker for NBC against all other shows (and so is the NFL itself for that matter), it is unfathomable to me that the director or producer of the SNF intro theme song also doesn’t have the sense (or the guts) to tell Carrie Underwhelming that she should wear pantyhose.
During the past few years, the NFL has been cracking down on bad behavior by players, drumming into their heads that it is a privilege to play in the league. (Wake up, Colin Kaepernick and Johnny Manziel.) And on Thursday Night Football the other day, LB Brandon Marshall of the Denver Broncos was the only member of his team not to stand during the singing of the National Anthem before the first regular season NFL game between the host Broncos and the Carolina Panthers.
I was hoping head coach Gary Kubiak, or executive vice president of football operations and general manager John Elway would bench Marshall for the duration of the game. It was good to hear that head coach Jeff Fisher of the L.A. Rams would have. He said as much recently. I would have, too. One player isn’t bigger than the entire team and organization, and football is not a forum for voicing one’s personal, political or social agenda. Marshall might be a good linebacker, but in my mind, he isn’t a good team guy, which makes me wonder whether he’s not a good guy … period.
Sorry, had to get that out of my system (and it’s my blog, and I can say what I wannnnt). But, now, back to what this blog is all about …
The NFL, rightfully so, is image-conscious these days. So what makes Carrie Understated think that she is too good to do the right thing when representing the league and SNF?
I mean 27 out of 32 NFL teams have professional cheerleader squads who wear sheer nude or suntan pantyhose with their uniforms. (The Bears, Browns, Giants, Packers and Steelers don’t have cheerleaders.)
In honor of the Rams’ move back to Los Angeles, I tried to find a photo of the Rams cheerleaders performing during this year’s preseason. I found only one, but it was too small. So instead, here’s a high-resolution pic (above) of the Minnesota Vikings cheerleaders ushering in the contest, as the Vikes hosted the Rams in the teams’ fourth preseason game Thursday, Sept. 1.
Can you even imagine today’s NFL’s cheerleaders performing bear-legged?
Check out this photo (left), taken back when I guess there wasn’t color film. And weren’t pantyhose big in the 1970s?
Heck, today, many college football teams’ and even high school football teams’ cheerleaders have the professionalism and class to wear sheer pantyhose with their uniforms.
Yet, somehow, Carrie Underminer thinks she is above all that.
By the way, I thought of calling her Carrie Underdog, but Underdog is cute, and besides, even a dog hates bare legs (right).
Sooooo, another season in which I will enjoy Sunday Night Football but skip the intro theme song. Not that doing so will make any difference to anybody, but I can’t stand to look at Carrie Underperformer anyway, so at least, I’ll feel better.
The Rhodes home
A few seasons ago, I praised some of the female hosts/reporters, and Lindsay Rhodes (left), specifically, for wearing sheer pantyhose during episodes of NFL Network and NFL Total Access.
Then, Rhodes all of a sudden stopped wearing, and I stopped watching.
The other day, I tuned in to those shows again because of the start of the 2016 season and was pleased to see Lindsay wearing again (at least, during the episode I saw, but hopefully, she’s back to wearing all the time again.)
What? Major League Baseball teams have cheerleaders now? When did that happen?
I’ve been an NFL fan for, I don’t know, a hundred years or so, but MLB? Not so much. OK, practically, never. But when I can find nothing to watch on the 250 or so channels I have on DirecTV, occasionally, I’ll stop in on a baseball game.
And because of where I live, I always can get the Miami Marlins, and recently I was shocked (but quite pleased) to see the Energy Team, especially, since the girls all wear pantyhose with their uniforms.
According to the team’s website, the Energy Team is a high-vitality male and female squad who perform a unique mix of gymnastics, hip-hop, acrobatics, modern jazz, funk and break dancing to provide excitement and entertainment during Miami Marlins home games and appearances throughout the community.
Additionally, the site states the Energy Team is the only co-ed performance pep squad team in Major League Baseball.
To be sure, I Googled that and found that a few MLB teams have some kind of entertainment squads, but the photos showed that the girls on those teams are all bear-legged. Love that Miami sports organizations always show professionalism and class. Way to go, Energy Team!
OK, enough about sports. You’ve read a few times here that I usually decide what I’m going to watch on TV based upon what I believe (hope) is most likely to have pantyhose content in it.
I used to watch Dancing with the Stars, but after a few seasons I could no longer stand seeing professional ballroom dancers strutting around bear-legged. This aint hip-hop, people, it’s BALLROOM. Somehow, the DWTS version of ballroom missed the part about professionalism, class and elegance. I haven’t watched that ridiculous show since.
About 11 seasons ago, I started and am still watching America’s Got Talent even though the judges can be quite annoying, as their egos are so huge, they try to make the show mostly about themselves. Nevertheless, I always liked and miss the old variety shows that were big (I hear) in the 1960s and ‘70s, and AGT truly is a variety show.
Ostensibly, the show is about discovering the next great heretofore unknown super star, and the prize for winning is a headline show in Las Vegas and $1 million.
Seems each year, I fall in love with a few acts, which ultimately get cut, usually, toward the end of the season when audience members and viewers at home cast votes, rather than the judges. Such was the case with, Deadly Games, a husband and wife knife-throwing act. The act was cut during the semifinals.
AGT claims it is looking for an act that is Las Vegas-worthy, but the judges seem to favor singers. (Aren’t there enough stupid singing contest shows out there?)
Not only was Deadly Games exciting and extremely dangerous, the duo of Alfredo and Anna Silva was professional in every way. They stepped up the risk in each performance along their journey, always with a keen sense of timing and great showmanship. The couple were edgy in every way right down to their sexy costumes, and the beautiful and exotic Anna always wore pantyhose.
Deadly Games was made for Las Vegas, and they richly deserved to advance to the finals (and even win). I hope a professional agent contacts the Silvas and gives them their start.
Unfortunately, the AGT voting audience is likely mostly young people who cast their votes based on popularity and sympathy for each act’s personal back story, and they wouldn’t know (or apparently care) what a Vegas-worthy act is. Between the horse’s hiney judges who claim to “love” practically every act, yet, aren’t honest with the ones who really have no chance of winning (i.e., no talent), and these young audience voters who somehow think AGT is really American Idol in different packaging, singing acts seem to get all the love. This, while really truly Vegas-quality acts, such as Russian Bar, ThroWings, a husband and wife high wire act, and another of my favorites this season, a husband and wife act called Quick Change, get cut by goofball judges or unsophisticated audience voting.
Rather than try to explain the Quick Change act here, check out this video of the couple’s first audition:
Of course I love that Victoria always wore beautiful short dresses and pantyhose with every outfit. With Quick Change’s talent, I am sure they will find the fame and success they deserve.
I’ll leave you with this. In the dashboard behind my WordPress blog, I can see the search terms people entered that led them to my blog. One search phrase read: “Do Korean women wear pantyhose?”
Heck, that could be a future blog post for me, but for now, I’ll say this: Probably much of the world realizes that pantyhose are deeply rooted in Asian culture; none more so than in Japan, where wearing pantyhose is a must for reasons of courtesy, femininity and just the right thing to do. I think I love Japan.
I’ve also been following Korean professional models and Korean girl groups (singers/dancers/musicians), all of whom always wear sheer nude or suntan pantyhose on stage and during public appearances.
This picture (left) really caught my attention because … well, it’s really cute, and it shows how deeply seated pantyhose wearing truly is in Korea. So much so that the performer is perfectly comfortable showing the waistband and part of her pantyhose above her shorts.
While I’m not a big fan of fishnet pantyhose, I like this very sexy look. Thought you might like to see it, too.
Note: I noticed that none of the pictures here are expanding to a larger version when you click on them. I always post pics that are in very high resolution (the one of Selena Gomez is 3600 x 2179) for your viewing pleasure.
My blog account was recently updated automatically, and I haven’t figured everything out yet, but this pictures thing is very important to me, so please know I am working on it. For now, if you right click each picture and select View image, some will expand to, at least, a slightly bigger size.
Longtime readers here know I’ll come up with just about any excuse to shine the spotlight on pantyhose. Hey, that’s my job ya know.
Case in point: The movie, Suicide Squad (the latest in the DC Comics films series), which appears to feature its main character, Harley Quinn, wearing fishnet pantyhose (pretty much throughout), was No. 1 for a second weekend in a row (Aug. 5 to Aug. 14), pulling in $222.6 million, according to Box Office Mojo. This, after posting an August-record $133.7 million opening.
So far, Suicide Squad has earned $466 million globally.
Notice above I wrote “appears” to feature its main character wearing fishnet pantyhose. That’s because I haven’t actually seen the movie yet.
Still, there are many promotional photos out there, in which Australian actress Margot Robbie wears some red or purple briefs over torn fishnet pantyhose. While I am not a huge fan of fishnets, my philosophy (as you’ve read here for years) is: Any kind of pantyhose are better than “bear” legs.
I don’t know much about Margot Robbie. Check that … I don’t know anything about Robbie. In fact, until I saw the TV ads for Suicide Squad and looked up the cast, I hadn’t heard of her. So, I don’t know whether or not she’s really very pantyhose friendly, but a quick Google search seems to indicate, well, not exactly.
To her credit though, earlier this year, Robbie was photographed after landing in London from a flight out of Los Angeles, wearing a black skort (combination of skirt and shorts) with sheer black pantyhose.
Also, in a photo from Suicide Squad, it looks as if Robbie might have on sheer nude pantyhose during an interview scene, in which she wears a more business-like outfit with a white lab coat (below left).
At least on this occasion, Margot Robbie arrives earlier this year at Heathrow Airport in London, England.
I say she might be wearing because the picture isn’t in the highest resolution and the lighting is a bit dim.
Anyway, I hope she’s wearing in that scene.
As the chances of my actually going to see Suicide Squad are slim to you-must-be-joking, if you see this movie, please tell me whether Robbie is wearing in that scene.
Since I have no one who would be interested in seeing this film with me, I will wait until it arrives on the DirecTV movie channels.
Oh, and if I did go out to see this movie, I of course, would be wearing a dress, heels and sheer nude pantyhose.
I was happy to see that, once again, the ladies of the China delegation wore sheer nude pantyhose during the Parade of Nations ceremony at the 2016 Olympics in Rio De Janeiro, Brazil.
I didn’t see the delegations of Japan or Korea, but a Google search showed that those nations’ women did not wear pantyhose. In all fairness though, that could be because their ladies wore slacks and blazers. Haaaaaaa
All the U.S. delegation members wore white slacks and blue blazers.
Still, I love that China treats the Olympics ceremonies as a formal occasion, and the ladies always wear skirts, pumps and sheer nude pantyhose.
For some time now, I’ve noticed during ATP and WTA tennis tournaments when the camera pans the crowd, there are a couple of beautiful ladies in skirt suits standing at each of the entrances/exits throughout the different stadiums. They are always wearing sheer nude or suntan pantyhose and look quite awesome.
They are the flight attendants or air hostesses of United Emirates Airlines.
According to About.com, “Emirates is the national airline of Dubai, the United Arab Emirates city-state that has become the Middle East’s luxury playground.”
Lately, the Emirates air hostesses themselves are becoming luxuriously legendary. Check out this awesome video I stumbled upon a while back.
It was shot in May this year, when the Los Angeles Dodgers baseball team hosted the Cincinnati Reds, and Dodgers pitching legend Orel Hershiser came onto the field to throw out the ceremonial first pitch.
It’s a short video (definitely worth your time to view it), and I am so impressed with the cute and clever theme. That, and the fact that the Emirates ladies pulled it off so beautifully and wonderfully.
Lovely ad lady
I gotta say I really hate stupid car (and truck) TV commercials, but I can handle the Toyota ones featuring the receptionist, Jan, who has all the right answers for consumers who come in to the dealership.
Jan is played by Laurel Coppock, a professional model and actress who has appeared on TV shows and, at least, one movie. When Toyota first introduced the character, Jan, she was either behind a desk or on the showroom floor wearing slacks.
Lately though, Jan has been on the showroom floor, flashing some shapely legs in short dresses, pumps and sheer nude pantyhose. Seems Toyota realized what they have in Coppock and they wisely are delivering a great message to those most interested in car commercials — men.
I don’t know about men (but I’ll bet I’m right here), when I see those commercials, all I focus on is Jan. I miss whatever message I’m supposed to receive about the automobiles and the deals.
I want to praise Coppock for wearing pantyhose with those attractive outfits, but as always, who knows whether she wants to wear them, or Toyota wants her to? You guys know I’m always all over these things, so what did I do? That’s right, I Googled her to see whether she is a devoted pantyhose wearer or not. Looks like not.
I couldn’t find a single picture of her wearing pantyhose, other than as the character, Jan. And you guys likely know what my next point is going to be: When Coppock sees how incredible she looks in those Toyota commercials, why wouldn’t she want to look that fabulous all the time?
We can only hope that Coppock will see the light and start channeling Jan in future appearances everywhere else she lands.
How many times have you read here that fashion is inspired by Hollywood? That was really just my own observation. I wasn’t sure whether or not that is really an accurate statement, but it’s my blog and I say what I waaaaaaaant.
I’ve been saying here since 2009 that the few (now many) Hollywood actresses and the scores of professional singers/performers who almost always wear sheer pantyhose during their shows would eventually help to bring pantyhose back.
But when a respected fashion designer has her professional models gliding down the runway, rocking the sheer pantyhose, that can be nothing but a very good sign don’t you think?
It’s in print
I was very pleased to see this piece in the The Saline Courier, an online version of the daily newspaper based in Benton, AR, and covering all of Saline County since 1876.
The publication’s Senior Editor, Lynda Hollenbeck, wrote a great editorial encouraging the return to fashion of sheer pantyhose, along with our common sense.
And while InStyle led the series off with a picture of Lynda Carter as Wonder Woman, they actually ranked her Number 4 behind (1.) Jennifer Garner as Elektra, (2.) Christian Bale as Bruce Wayne/Batman, (3.) Chris Pratt as Peter Quill of Guardians of the Galaxy. At Number 5, was Will Smith as John Hancock.
Here’s what they wrote:
(4.) Lynda Carter as Wonder Woman, Wonder Woman TV series
“When Lynda Carter started playing Wonder Woman on TV in 1975, the role would forever be changed. Nerdy Diana Prince turns into va-va-voom Wonder Woman with a simple spin, losing the glasses and button-ups for a revealing and patriotic one-piece. And Carter’s super-toned bod?”
The Best Act
For those of you who are off the grid (not customers, so not on our email list) and didn’t get the memo, we are running a summer promotion. Buy six pairs in any shade(s) and size(s) of our New Act IV and receive 30% off through Sept. 15.
Just enter code sumpro30 at Checkout.
Sorry, our new vice president is a veteran marketing exec, and she made me add this notice. I’ll introduce her in a future post.
Incidentally, applying the code can be a bit confusing. The first time you’ll see “Apply Coupon” is on the Shopping Cart page. Don’t bother clicking that. It won’t do anything. Instead, apply your coupon code at the Checkout page, which comes up next in the process.
You’ll see this: “Have a coupon? Click here to enter your code.” (Just click on that link, fill in the code in the little window that appears, and then click the “Apply Coupon” box.) You will see an indication that you’ve applied your code successfully.
If you have any difficulty, please let me know via email. Actually, you can’t go wrong because even if you don’t take the discount, I will see that and simply refund the difference back to your PayPal account.
Pantyhose alive and well
Every day, I get emails and comments here from readers who still lament the fact that pantyhose seem to be all but gone from the landscape. Not true, I say. If you really look, you will see pantyhose appearing everywhere these days.
Now, here are some extra pics that didn’t fit anywhere else in this post. Enjoy!
A series of pics of Australian actress Margot Robbie as the DC Comics character, Harley Quinn, in Suicide Squad, which opened earlier this month …
As my loyal readers know, besides their comments here, I receive tons of private emails concerning everything you can imagine about pantyhose (but, almost always clean and classy, which I appreciate).
Naturally, I’m always interested in hearing the views of others, so I am open to receiving unexpected emails or letters to our P.O. Box.
But nothing could have prepared me for the note that was slipped under my door recently. It was like a scene from the X-Files. It’s almost midnight and I’m still working alone in my office.
With the place dimly lit, I notice an ominous shadow cast under the door jam. I’m a little anxious. Who’d be calling on me at this hour? This can’t be good. Then, a note is slid under my door and the shadow just as suddenly disappears.
Typically, I don’t get too excited about a hand-delivered note as long as it’s not a bill or a jury summons.
But this had a strange sense of urgency about it, so I read it at once. Hand-scrawled on scrap paper, it read:
“Dear Rob (I was surprised, as only my closest friends call me Rob),
If you consider yourself a responsible journalist, you won’t pass up the opportunity to expose the discrimination and repression that has been wrought against beardom for the past zillion years or so.”
It was signed simply: The Grizzly
At first, I thought the whole thing was a prank, but the next day an invitation came via a text message (how do these people get my number?) with a time and date to meet The Grizzly at his office (I didn’t know Grizzly bears even have offices) for an exclusive interview. I have to admit, I was filled with some level of trepidation. What could The Grizzly want with me? Was this about my poaching Sarah Jessica Parker — his signature client in his “bear” legs cause? Did he want a piece of me?
So, I reread the note. Yes, he wanted a piece alright. The Grizzly was inviting me to write a piece about … what did he call it … oh, yes, the discrimination and repression of beardom. Hmmmm, my arch enemy was reaching out to me to shed light on an issue that was troubling not only him, but “all of beardom.” (I hadn’t realized there’s a beardom.)
While I probably should have thought better of the idea, the curiosity was too much for me to “bear” (yuk yuk), so I accepted the invitation, and a limousine arrived for me the next morning. Wow, The Grizzly certainly has a sense of class and style, sending a limo for me. And it was a nice ride to a more well-to-do neighborhood than I expected.
The entrance and driveway were impressive enough, and then I looked up at a very large and really tall house before The Grizzly came out to meet me. I was shocked at how big this guy really is. Must be 14 feet tall, and I couldn’t even begin to guess how much he weighs. I was certain my kung fu would be of no use against such a specimen. I had willingly walked into the bear’s domain and was on my own now.
To my relief, The Grizzly was quite formal and engaging. He invited me into his office. He called it the den. (I thought that was clever.) It was warm and cozy, kind of like a man cave, only he’s a Grizzly, so I’d have to say it was a bear cave. He took a seat in the den in a plush chair that probably should have been a lot bigger.
He got right to the point:
“Being The Grizzly is no picnic,” he said.
I stifled a giggle. “No picnic.” That was cute. Bears certainly are linked to picnics, I thought, and I couldn’t stop this image from forming in my head. But somehow he must have gotten that same image because in his version, the bear’s picnic basket was packed generously with ActSensuous pantyhose for food.
“Don’t get me wrong,” he continued. “I mean, yeah, I’m at the top of the food chain and all in my world. But people are really missing the point here. If it weren’t for my role as champion of the bare legs cause, no one would care about bears.”
“Wait a minute, you mean you represent that ugly subculture of women who hate pantyhose just for the attention,” I asked?
“Oh, it’s all PR,” he said. “I do it strictly for the image.”
“Seriously, Grizzly bears have an image problem,” I asked?
“Think about it,” he said. “What kind of images do you associate with bears?”
He was right. The first thing that came to my mind was hunting. Then, all kinds of terrible thoughts hit me, such as a mounted bear inside a cabin at a resort, and those huge bear skin rugs in front of fireplaces.
“Come to think of it, there are a lot of dreadful things humans associate with bears,” I admitted, swallowing hard.
“Yeah, well, that aint the half of it, sister,” he said. “Bears have been pushed around, disrespected and abused since time immemorial.
So, look, you showed up, proving you’re a responsible journalist after all. You want to hear my story, and will you print it in your blog?”
I agreed. And so the interview began. And, being true to my part of the agreement, here is the transcript of the interview between myself and The Grizzly:
Interview with The Grizzly
Robin: So, you’re saying bears have always had it bad?
Grizzly: Oh yeah, we get no respect. Never have. From always being depicted as the bad guys in movies, to being falsely accused of terrorizing campers … heck, just in everyday life, you humans are always dissing bears.
Robin: Really, always in everyday life? Gimme an example.
Grizzly: How much time you got? There are so many examples. Take everyday phrases you people say, using my species’ namesake. They’re all negative: There’s “Bear with me” when you’re taking too long to accomplish something. There’s “I can’t bear it” when you’re dealing with a hardship. There’s “bear down” when you’re taking on a difficult project. And then, there’s my all-time favorite: “Does a bear sh** in the woods?”
Robin: (Again, I tried not to laugh, remembering I had said after reading The Grizzly’s note in my office: “… the curiosity was too much for me to bear.”)
Robin: Well, I’m not sure you had to include that last one, but OK, I’ll give you that there are many things people say that have a negative connotation toward bears, although really, they’re not intended that way. Still, there’s at least one positive “bear” phrase you should like.
Grizzly: Yeah, what’s that?
Robin: “I come bearing gifts.”
Grizzly: I come baring legs.
Robin: Haaaaaaa, good one!
Grizzly: Sorry, couldn’t resist. You walked right in to that one.
Robin: Yeah, I tend to do that. I mean, I’m here, aint I? But, really, not all movies make you the bad guy.
Grizzly: Name one that doesn’t.
Robin: Everybody loves Baloo the Bear in the movie, The Jungle Book. “Look for the bear necessities …”
Grizzly: Please stopping singing that. I won’t be able to get that song out of my head for weeks now. Anyway, humans think that movie is cute, but at its essence, it’s embarrassing at best to bears.
Robin: Really? Sorry to hear that. OK, what about Smoky the Bear? He’s certainly a good guy. He ought to be a role model for all bears. Heck, you’ve got a poster of him on your wall there.
Grizzly: He’s … what’s the word I’m looking for … oh yeah, slow.
Grizzly: Alright, he’s not slow really. But we bears don’t care for him. He’s a little too chummy with you humans.
Robin: OK, that’s a bit disturbing to hear, especially now. I think he’s a positive and endearing figure. We humans love Smoky the Bear.
Grizzly: Remember, only YOU can prevent forest rangers!
Robin: Uh, that’s forest fires.
Grizzly: That’s not how we bears say it.
Robin: OK, now I’m really nervous. On to a different subject. Could it be that you’re too defensive about your role in pop culture?
Grizzly: Look, bears have had a bad rap since as far back as the 1800s when that libelous story first came out about three bears and some snot-nosed little brat.
Robin: Goldilocks and the Three Bears? Oh, c’mon, that’s one of the most popular fairy tales of all time.
Grizzly: Well, it didn’t start out that way. You should Google that title.
Robin: (The Grizzly uses Google?)
Grizzly: Originally, the Goldilocks character was an old hag who busted into a bear family’s cottage all uninvited you know. Today, that’s known as a home invasion. Then, she had the nerve to eat up their porridge and try to stay. Nowadays, you call that squatting. And then, when the bear family comes home, she freaks out and bolts, accidentally falling to her death. But, it was the bears who got the blame for that, and we’ve been the bad guys ever since.
Robin: Yeah, but another author came along later and changed the old hag character into a pretty little girl with golden hair who was actually treated more hospitably by the three bears. What about that?
Grizzly: Oh, sure, that innocent little girl. She broke into the bear family’s cottage, ate up their porridge, broke Baby Bear’s chair and then slept in Papa Bear’s bed. Little brat probably even peed in the bed. Yet, she’s the hero. Little kids all over the world grow up thinking it’s OK to take advantage of bears, all because Goldilocks became a star.
Robin: Well, it’s just a fairy tale. And, I’d hardly call her a star. In fact, for the most part, Goldilocks has been all but forgotten for years.
Grizzly: Not by bears. We’re reminded of her every time we see a Chevy Chase movie co-starring that blonde who just so happens to be a direct descendant of Goldilocks.
Robin: Who’s that?
Grizzly: You know … Goldie Hawn.
Robin: Ohhhhh, Goldilocks/Goldie Hawn. I get it.
Grizzly: She had it all, that Goldie Hawn. Beauty, talent, brains, and she was funny as heck. And she really was a star. And, I’m sure you love the fact that she was a devoted pantyhose wearer in her day.
Robin: Well, sure, I loved Goldie Hawn for all her talent and especially because she always wore sheer suntan or nude pantyhose in every movie of hers I ever saw.
But you ought to feel a little vindicated by the fact that Goldie’s actress daughter, Kate Hudson, doesn’t seem to share her mother’s sense of professionalism, class and good taste, to say nothing of femininity. Shame, too, because the few times she does wear sheer pantyhose, she looks amazing. But for now anyway, it certainly seems she’s more likely to be seen bear-legged.
Grizzly: When you write up the transcript of this interview, how are you going to spell what you just said there?
Robin: What, bear-legged? Uh, b a r e …
Robin: Heh heh heh. Well, speaking of that, you mentioned earlier that you champion the whole bear-legs cause just for the PR. How’s that been working out for you?
Grizzly: During the mid-to-late ‘90s and the entire decade of 2000, it rocked to be The Grizzly. I mean, bare legs was all the rage. Women everywhere were wearing fabulous dresses or skirts, designer shoes with beautiful pedicures and then completely ruining the outfits with their bare legs. That was awesome! It really looked ridiculous, but they were all brainwashed. They even dressed that way at the office. Heck, even to weddings and funerals. Suddenly, bears were getting the love we always deserved.
Robin: Wait, you just said that the bear-legs look was ridiculous. Does that mean you really don’t hate pantyhose?
Grizzly: No-no, not at all. I love pantyhose. They taste great. They’re my main source of fiber these days. C’mon, you’ve seen the pics. You’ve published them in your blog. Bears everywhere love ripping pantyhose — especially your brand — to shreds.
Listen, I’ve got a whole new image to uphold these days. I told you, I’m in this campaign for the good publicity. If women want to bare their legs in even the most professional or formal of venues, no matter how awful they look, that’s just good for business as far as I’m concerned?
Robin: I’ve never been able to figure out how so many women throughout the world lost their minds this way.
Grizzly: Oh, you called it from the beginning: It was that whole Sex and the City thing that gave women the idea they could stop wearing pantyhose, coinciding with the casualization of the office in general. This just got women all over the world to jump on that bandwagon until bare legs turned into pop culture. I told you: Humans are easily influenced by a good story and a convincing actress.
Robin: Yeah, you really did have a pretty good run there with Sarah Jessica Parker, didn’t you?
Grizzly: You really shouldn’t remind me about that while you’re in The Grizzly’s den. But, yeah, we had a good thing going for a while there. She had women everywhere fooled for a long time. I still can’t believe you stole my best client.
Robin: Well, I didn’t really steal her from you. I merely set the record straight. She was just playing a part on TV and in the movies. But it became clear that in real life, she wasn’t truly the pantyhose hater everyone thought she was. I had to give her Credit ‘wear’ Credit is Due.
Grizzly: I gotta admit: It hurt losing SJP. I thought we were close.
Robin: I did feel a little bad about that. But it was touching to see how you tried so hard to win her back. Very romantic you were.
Grizzly: Yeah, I’ll miss her. She and I were good together.
Robin: Actually, I always thought your true signature client was Stacy London. I see you’ve got that picture of the two of you on your table there.
And, boy, does Stacy London deserve it. Still, SJP was a bigger star. And the damage she did, whether intentionally or not, was good enough to sustain the bare-legs cause for probably a while to come still.
Robin: You might be right about that, but surely, you’ve noticed that it’s been more and more difficult for me to find a celebrity who’s truly deserving of The Grizzly Awards.
Grizzly: I have noticed that. And don’t call me Shirley.
Robin: Good gosh, who knew The Grizzly has a sense of humor?
Grizzly: Hey, I told you: It’s all about the PR, and humor is my calling card. But to answer your question, yes, membership in the bare legs club definitely has waned recently. I mean there are still a few celebs who — since the opportunity to not wear was created in the first place — probably will never wear pantyhose again. I’ll go through my Rolodex and send you some names.
Robin: Really, you’d do that for me? Wow, what a guy. Wait a minute, you have a Rolodex?
Grizzly: Hey, you know the saying: “Keep your friends close, and your enemies over for dinner.” Or, something like that.
Robin: Uhhhhh, let’s be friends, not enemies, shall we?
Grizzly: You really shouldn’t consider me the enemy. After all, I made you.
Robin: Uhhhhhh, I’m sorry, come again?
Grizzly: C’mon, your blog would be just another pile of dull crap about pantyhose on the Internet if it weren’t for The Grizzly Awards and your whole “bear” legs thing. I have to admit, that was very clever.
Robin: Yeah, thanks, but I don’t know about that whole “you made me thing.” I kinda think I’ve made you. If you weren’t the face (or the legs, actually) of the “bear”-legs franchise, what would you being doing right now … stealing pic-i-nic baskets?
Grizzly: Oh, that was low …
Robin: Hey, it’s one more example of how you’re wrong about humans’ feelings toward bears. Everyone loves Yogi, ya know.
Grizzly: Uh, yeah, he’s a bit slow, too.
Robin: Oh boy! OK, let’s get back to the fact that it’s increasingly difficult for me to find a celebrity today who is truly deserving of The Grizzly Awards because even if one thinks of her as a bear legger, at least occasionally, she can be seen wearing pantyhose. I don’t want to be thought of as unjustly attacking a celebrity who might be loved by many in either the pantyhose or the bear-legs camps. It would be too easy for someone to counter with: “Wait a minute, look at this picture: She was wearing pantyhose for this occasion, or at that venue.” I could lose credibility if I pick on someone who does wear at least once in a while.
Grizzly: No, no, no, you gotta go with the percentages, kiddo. There are still quite a few celebs out there who wear pantyhose out and about — and I know how much you love that — but then, they go bare-legged to a formal ceremony, such as The Oscars or The Grammy Awards. And I know how much you hate that.
Robin: Exactly. I truly hate that.
Grizzly: So present them with The Grizzly Awards already.
Robin: I would, but sometimes the lines are a bit blurred. It’s tough to tell who’s who in this contest.
Grizzly: C’mon, you know who these people are. I know a part of you feels it would be the right thing to do to hand out The Grizzly Award to Sandra Oh. Am I right? You know I’m right. You really do want to give Sandra Oh the coveted Grizzly Award, don’t you? It’s OK, you can say it. Everyone knows you do. You never see that chick in pantyhose, but you’re torn because the few times she did wear in the past, you think she looked amazing, and you loved her, and now you don’t want to make her look bad.
Robin: Man, you got me pegged. How do you know these things? Who’ve you been talking with?
Grizzly: Hellooooo, I read your blog, ya know. Want me to name others just like Sandra Oh?
Robin: Oh, please do. Wait, you read my blog? What a day this is turning into. The things I’m learning here.
Grizzly: OK, buckle your seatbelt. This aint gonna be pretty. You will not like some of these, but if you’re honest, you’ll have to admit I’m right.
Robin: Go for it.
Grizzly: Let’s just stay on the whole Asian theme. Your beloved Asian actresses you think are so wonderful. Here we go: Bai Ling, Devon Aoki, Gong Li, Jamie Cheung, Joan Chen, Lucy Liu, Maggie Q, Michelle Yeoh — that’s right, I said Michelle Yeoh. That one particularly hurts, doesn’t it?
Robin: Yes, that one really kills me. And the others hurt too.
Grizzly: But wait, there’s more: Jun Ji-hyun, Marie Matiko (has she ever worn a pair of pantyhose in her entire life?), Moon Bloodgood, Olivia Munn, Uhm Jung-hwa.
Robin: Stop, stop already. I love all of them, and they’ve each been known to wear pantyhose so beautifully, at least once in a while. You’re cruel.
Grizzly: Talk to the paw, Honey, talk to the paw. I just call ‘em as I see ‘em.
Robin: Well, you are right about Marie Matiko. I have never ever seen a single picture of her wearing pantyhose. And that is so strange, as she is Japanese and wearing sheer pantyhose is practically the law in Japan. I guess Marie Matiko is too Americanized to care.
But including Jun Ji-hyun (aka Jun Ji-hyeon, aka Gianna Jun) on your list is baffling to me. Ji-Hyun wears pantyhose 10 times more frequently than all of those actresses you mentioned combined. With me, she’ll always get credit for her starring role in the movie Blood: The Last Vampire (above), as she wore sheer nude pantyhose with her Japanese schoolgirl outfit. (Note: Jun Ji-hyun, featured in this blog a few years ago, actually is Korean.)
But, here’s the thing: She often appears wearing sheer pantyhose while attending press conferences (right) and movie premiers, and when performing in television commercials.
And if that weren’t enough, she’s also a professional model who almost always wears sheer pantyhose to cover some of the biggest international fashion magazines (below).
Yes, I love Jun Ji-hyun.
Grizzly: Yeah, yeah … OK, fine. I’ll give you that one. I can understand why you’re so high on her.
She does seem to do everything right in your world.
Robin: Yes, she really is a class act in every way. She is a very popular actress, beloved for her romantic comedies, which is why it was a such a surprise that she starred in Blood: The Last Vampire, and did an excellent job transitioning into a physical/martial arts genre.
And she certainly sets a great example for younger Asian celebs, who might otherwise attempt to emulate the way Hollywood celebrities dress.
Robin: OK, so can we stop now?
Robin: Thank you.
Grizzly: Kelly Hu.
Grizzly: Kelly H … Oh, OK, I see. You got me with that one. Niiiiiiiiice.
Robin: Sorry, couldn’t resist. Yeah, Kelly Hu — a gorgeous woman with great legs. Such a waste that she seems to never have heard of the word, pantyhose. Sure, there’s the extremely rare time when she wears black tights or fishnets with high boots, but that doesn’t count in my book. Why hide those legs in pantyhose under boots?
Grizzly: See what I mean? You’ve got a lot of choices to hand out a Grizzly Award. Want me to name the non-Asian celebs now?
Grizzly: Amy Adams, Angelina Jolie, Eva Longoria, Gabrielle Anwar, Jennifer Aniston, Julianna Margulies, Leah Remini, Mila Kunis, Morena Baccarin, Rachel McAdams, Renee Zellweger, Robin Tuney, Sandra Bullock, Sarah Michelle Gellar, Sarah Shahi, Teri Hatcher, Yancy Butler …
Robin: But …
Robin: OK, fine. Darn, those are some good names on your list. What happened to them? Of course, pantyhose lovers are happy that Julianna Margulies wears sheer nude pantyhose on The Good Wife, but she never wears during a late night talk show, and I’m guessing never to an awards show, or even when she’s out and about. That means she wears on The Good Wife only because she has to. If it were up to her, I’m sure she wouldn’t wear on that show.
Grizzly: Now you’re getting it. You’ve just been looking at it all wrong.
Robin: Oh my goodness, I’m so confused now.
Grizzly: Listen, just because you’ve seen each one of them wear pantyhose in the past, or even recently on a TV show, or in a movie, you have to look at their complete body of work. Most of them, left to their own devices, are going to go bare-legged. There really are a few of them who most definitely deserve to receive The Grizzly Award. In fact, I’ve got one I am sure you’ve never thought of, whom I would venture to say has never worn pantyhose a day in her whole life.
Robin: Really? Oh, do tell, do tell.
Grizzly: I don’t want to spoil it for your readers by mentioning her here now. Tell you what … I’ll text you later, and you’ll agree with me. Then, she can be your next recipient of The Grizzly Awards.
Robin: Oh, c’mon, just give me a hint? (Wait a minute … The Grizzly can text?)
Grizzly: OK, sure. Actually, it might be fun for your readers. They know these things. In fact, they’ve probably already thought of this one. She’s an actress in her mid-30s and her initials are JB. I guarantee you won’t be able to find a single picture of her in sheer pantyhose.
Robin: Really? Can’t wait to learn who this one is.
Grizzly: Yeah, and here’s another candidate for you. Her initials are BB.
Robin: Game show host?
Robin: Yeah, I hate her. She’s gorgeous, but totally unprofessional. She never wears. She definitely deserves to receive The Grizzly Award. Actually, I wish Grizzlies would just eat her. No one I know would mind if a Grizzly just devoured her.
Readers, know the celebs (JB and BB) The Grizzly and Robin are talking about? Tell us who they are via email (email@example.com), and if you’re right, win one or two free pairs of ActSensuous pantyhose.
Receive one free pair for correctly naming one celebrity; get two free pairs for correctly naming both.
Only one email entry per reader please.
Grizzly: Now you’re coming around. You’ve been too nice, especially, when it comes to the borderline types. I say even though they used to be consistent pantyhose-wearers, if they have been seen more often bare-legged, they’re fair game for you.
Robin: Geez, you’re right, Grizz. I really don’t understand some of these people.
Grizzly: Hey, listen, they don’t call it Hollyweird for nothing. (Grizz? Only my closest friends call me Grizz.)
Rob: OK, now on the other hand … check that … on the other paw (snicker), who would you say are some of the more famous celebrities who never bought in to the bear-legs culture from the get-go, or at least the ones who most consistently wear pantyhose for all the right reasons.
Grizz: Oh, you gotta go with Anne Hathaway, Christine Baransky, Christie Brinkley, Jessica Alba, Kim Basinger, Katie Holmes, Megan Fox, Meredith Vieira, Milla Jovovich, Nicole Kidman, Penelope Cruz, Salma Hayek, Sofia Vergara, Zooey Deschanel, and of course, that gal named Kate who’s now in England.
Rob: Oh, yes, Kate Middleton should get a Nobel Peace Prize for practically bringing pantyhose back from the grave. That’s very good. You really know your celebs.
Grizz: Rosario Dawson.
Rob: I’m sorry …
Grizz: Rosario Dawson.
Rob: Oh my goodness, you are soooooo right again. She is extremely classy all the time. I don’t think she ever bought in to that whole bear-legs deal. That lovely woman always wears the most sheer, sexy pantyhose and looks absolutely stunning in them.
Note: Well, that’s what I thought anyway. In doing a search on the Internet for a current picture to use here, I didn’t see one new picture of Rosario wearing pantyhose since the many I had filed away during the past few years. That makes me wonder whether she ultimately gave in to the pressure from other bear-legged celebrities. That would be such a shame.
Grizz: Now, listen: I’ve given up some good leads for those who deserve consideration for your Credit “wear” Credit is Due feature. That, and because you stole my signature client away from me, it’s time for a little quid pro quo here. I want the name of the celebrity you feel is the most devoted bare-legger, the one you hate the most, to replace SJP as my signature client. C’mon, give it up. Who’s my next recipient of the prestigious Grizzly Awards?
Rob: OK, sure, that’s fair. Here’s a hint for you: Her first name is the same as the main character on that show that is generally credited with starting the bear-legs movement.
Grizz: OK, Carrie Bradshaw of Sex and the City. Carrie … Carrie … Ohhhhhhhh, Carrie Underwood. Yeah, good one. I’ll take her. That’s a great trade.
Rob: Yeah, I really hate that bimbo. How unprofessional of her to perform the Sunday Night Football theme song in bear legs and cowboy boots in back-to-back seasons. And, in every appearance she makes on other shows I’ve seen, she does the whole bear legs thing. That one has zero class. You can have her and keep her. And please eat her, too. I don’t ever want to have to look at those pasty white bony legs of hers again.
Grizz: OK, done. By the way, I will say this: You’ve definitely nailed the one young celeb who really deserves all the praise you’ve heaped upon her and the huge amount of love for how devoted to pantyhose she is.
Rob: Oh, I know who you’re talking about — Ariana
Grizz: Grande. Yes, l can foresee her causing me all kinds of trouble in my efforts to recruit future bare-leggers. She is a gem in your camp. How can a girl that young have so much professionalism, class, grace and femininity during a time when your young people prefer to dress like homeless people? Does she have stock in your company? Be honest, you’ve bought her, right?
Rob: Haaaaa, I would have, but no, she’s done this completely on her own. I’m as amazed as you are. She certainly appears to be the real deal, and I hope she stays that way because right now, she’s one in a million. I know pantyhose lovers everywhere appreciate Ariana for her devotion to wearing sheer pantyhose, not only on stage, but at publicity functions, most often at awards shows, and even just out and about. She is setting such a good example for her young fans, and like Kate Middleton, Ariana, might some day be credited with helping pantyhose make a comeback. Yes, she is almost too good to be true.
Grizz: Exactly, too good to be true. So enjoy her while you can.
Rob: Wait. What do you mean by that?
Grizz: Oh you know as well as I do that good things like her don’t last forever. You’ll see. Whatever it is that causes her to dress so nicely and wear sheer pantyhose is likely to change some day, and then I will be there to scoop her up. She’ll be my new prized client.
Rob: Now that would be a real shame. I hope you’re wrong. OK, now here’s one more thing I’ve been dying to ask you about. Hope you’re ready because this one hits close to home.
Grizz: Fire away …
Rob: What’s with so many celebs, professional models and even everyday ladies from all over the world wearing pantyhose while hobnobbing with bears? I would have thought you’d forbid “beardom” (love that word) from partaking in such debauchery. Yet, it’s out there. Some very beautiful ladies wearing pantyhose while snuggling with bears.
Grizz: Oh, sure, throw that in my face.
Rob: Warned ya.
Grizz: I’ll have to see it to believe it.
Rob: You will when you see my finished piece. I think you’ll find it disturbing, this trend of beautiful models and other celebs getting all lovey dovey with bears.
Grizz: I’ll tell you right now, those must be rogue bears who are not part of the union. I can’t be held accountable for their actions.
Rob: Well, I like the pics because they bring closer those who should be enemies. Kind of like you and me, Grizz.
Grizz: Don’t push it, Rob. I haven’t eaten yet and I’m as hungry as a bear.
And with that, the interview ended and Grizz walked me out, stopping in the family room this time where he proudly showed off his family portrait.
And don’t think I didn’t notice all the other bear memorabilia in the room where Grizz’s cubs play, including the Goldilocks and the Three Bears dolls, the books, and all the Chicago Bears fan stuff.
In any case, what I had feared would be an uncomfortable meeting turned out to be anything but. The Grizzly was professional and classy. He was even cute and charming. I left feeling like I’d made a new friend. But I ain’t going out to eat with him. That’s for sure.
As I was getting in the limo to return to my office, I thought of my best question, so I blurted out:
“Hey, Grizz. If bears have had it so bad for so long, how are you able to live in a great house like this and have a limo driver at your disposal?”
“When it’s important to maintain a big image these days, one must diversify,” he said. “That’s why I invented these a long time ago.”
Gummy Bears! Wouldn’t you just know it? And I had been feeling sorry for Grizz. Looks like he’s in the game for the long haul, just like me. And that’s a good thing. We are good for one another.
My thanks to J. Aton of ATON DIGITAL STUDIOS for his original artwork for ActSensuous. Check out J. Aton’s artist website and online portfolio atwww.atondigitalstudios.com
Pantyhose babes hobnobbing with bears
Unidentified young lady wearing pantyhose teases bear
Unidentified young lady in pantyhose lounges with her bear
Unidentified young lady wearing pantyhose smooches her bear
Unidentified bear lover wearing pantyhose gives a bear hug
Unidentified performer in sheer pantyhose tames a bear
Chinese star Lin Xiao Nuo is content in the company of bears
Korean professional model Lee Eun Hye holds her bear closely
Korean Professional model Lee Eun Hye cozies up to a bear
Korean professional model So Yeon Yang hugs her bear
Korean professional model Jung Jung Ah plays with her bear
Korean professional model Im So Yeon loves on her bear
Im So Yeon snuggles with her bear
Im So Yeon lies with her happy bear
Im So Yeon pouts with her bear
A bear takes a back seat to Korean professional model Han Ga Eun. Anyone would.
Unidentified Korean professional model has a leg up on her bear
Longtime readers here know when it comes to the subject of pantyhose, I am always right. About everything really.
When ActSensuous was born in 2001, it was I who — on our first website — coined the phrases “bare-legs movement” and “bare-legs culture.” (Of course, in 2009 when this blog launched, I changed the bare to “bear” and you all know why.)
Also on our first website, I blamed actress Sarah Jessica Parker in her role as Carrie Bradshaw in the “Sex and the City” TV series (and later, movies) for starting the whole bear-legs movement.
Ever since, she has stood as the bear legs villain of all time.
Besides on our website, I’ve also vilified SJP in this blog.
Then, one of our longtime readers and most prolific commenters, Brian W., in August 2013, made this comment:
You are amazing! (Alright, alright, I added that part. Here’s Brian W.’s real comment:)
I mentioned in one of my previous comments about Candace Bushnell, the newspaper columnist and author of the novel “Sex and the City” that would later be adapted into a TV and movie series. Candace goes bare legged for all seasons after receiving advice from a gay fashion expert telling her that “No woman should wear pantyhose, especially in the winter.” That is why the Carrie Bradshaw character is based on Ms. Bushnell’s personal experiences, and going bare-legged is one of them.
That comment got me thinking that, perhaps, I was wrong (this one time only) and Sarah Jessica Parker wasn’t the real bad guy in the bear-legs movement.
Then, I thought Naaaaaah, SJP has to be the villain, as she always has been the face (OK, the legs, actually) of the very bear-legs culture itself.
Still, in addition to Brian W.’s comment in 2013, I had been noticing more and more pictures of SJP wearing pantyhose in movies, at movie premieres, media appearances, publicity events, and often, even when she’s out and about.
What? How could this be?
After seeing so many pics of SJP in pantyhose, coupled with the facts from Brian W.’s comment about Bushnell, I realized that I really was wrong, and SJP had been wrongly accused by me.
After all, SJP made an appearance during a Chanel event in August 2011 wearing a pair of the high-end clothing, handbags and accessories retailer’s pantyhose, which sold for $250. Seriously, $250. I mean, who does that?
Yes, it was time for me to open my eyes and my mind, and take notice of the former SATC star.
So, a couple of weeks ago, to make up for my having falsely accused her of starting the bear-legs movement, ActSensuous invited SJP to a special function, which she cheerfully accepted.
Thus, in the headline of this post: Credit ‘wear’ Credit is Due — You won’t believe who, the “who” is one Sarah Jessica Parker.
Now, I know what some of you are thinking:
Has Robin lost her mind? Was she paid off? Did I log on to the wrong blog?
Let me assure you, readers … all is well and good.
It’s just that in doing my research for this post, I found way more pictures of SJP wearing pantyhose than many other celebs who’ve been praised several times in this blog by me, and also by some of you in your comments.
In fact, the more I investigated, the further I became convinced that SJP is not the villain I’d been making her out to be since 2001.
And in graciously accepting the ActSensuous invitation to be honored in this blog, SJP didn’t disappoint, always arriving in style at the Space Coast Imperial Palace .
And during the three-day celebration, SJP always showed up in fabulous outfits, complemented by some awesome high heels, and showing off a few different styles of pantyhose.
As amazing as SJP looks in pantyhose, it’s a mystery to me why she ever would want to be seen bear-legged again.
Seeing SJP in beautiful outfits and pantyhose during the 3-day award ceremony, only reinforced in my mind what I had been seeing the past few years.
One of the movies in which she starred, “I Don’t Know How She Does It” (2011), was not only a cute story, but it featured SJP as a corporate executive who has to learn how to juggle her rise to the top at a financial management company along with her family responsibilities.
As the movie was set in Boston during the winter months, and mostly, because SJP played a corporate exec, it was fitting that she always wore skirts or skirt suits, heels and pantyhose. And not just pantyhose, but often sheer nude pantyhose.
This made the movie and SJP’s character more realistic, and that isn’t always the case in motion pictures of this kind.
By the way, as a side note, Olivia Munn played a junior associate at the firm, and she dressed in proper business attire, as well. And while it’s not that unusual to see Olivia Munn in pantyhose (at publicity events and often just out and about these days), it was absolutely wonderful to see her (finally) wearing sheer nude pantyhose.
Here’s the thing (and I’ve said this … what, about a thousand times regarding different celebs?): When Olivia goes back and watches “I Don’t Know How She Does It,” and sees herself looking as amazing as she did in sheer nude pantyhose, why wouldn’t she want to dress this way all the time? Or, at least, more often.
Am I right, people? Are you hearing me out there? Look at those gorgeous gams on Olivia Munn.
Back to the ActSensuous award ceremony: Don’t think for a minute that the three days were all just fun and games.
After all, SJP had always been the signature client of the Grizzly, yet, here she was receiving the ActSensuous Credit “wear” Credit is Due award.
You remember the Grizzly. He held his own celebration a while back, handing out the inaugural Grizzly Award to that total “fashion” witch, Stacy London, of “What Not to Wear.” Now London definitely is the most deserving recipient of the Grizzly Award.
You’re with me on this, right readers?
Still, it was SJP who put the Grizzly on the map, and he wasn’t about to let her go so easily.
It appears our security was not up to snuff because the Grizzly crashed the event, trying to talk SJP into staying in his camp.
He greeted her on the red carpet with a bottle of what looked to be some very fine Champagne.
I almost felt sorry for the Grizzly, as he was rebuked by SJP on the red carpet, surrounded by a horde of paparazzi and adoring onlookers.
But the Grizzly is not discouraged so easily.
He wasn’t about to let his most famous and best client go, without trying every trick in the book to woo her back.
And, somehow, the Grizzly was able to sneak backstage the next day, where he tried to entice SJP with flowers and a box of Godiva chocolates.
Fittingly for the occasion, he even wore a tuxedo.
We’ve gotta give the Grizzly props for his creativity and style in going all-out in his efforts to win back his best client.
He certainly won some points with SJP for that backstage maneuver, yet, she once again found a way to resist the Grizzly’s advances.
Apparently, she was now enjoying her new-found attention and appreciation for being a more pantyhose-friendly celebrity.
Finally, in a last-ditch effort, the Grizzly pulled out all the stops.
Several days after the ActSensuous award ceremony, while SJP was back home relaxing, the Grizzly did the unthinkable:
He showed up at the star’s estate home.
SJP had shunned all the Grizzly’s attempts to woo her back.
It had been a long partnership between her and the bear, and it couldn’t have been easy for her to keep turning him down.
Nevertheless, SJP was convicted about wearing pantyhose and finally putting the distinction of being the Grizzly’s signature client behind her.
So, taking a page from the 1989 John Cusack movie, “Say Anything,” the Grizzly parked himself on SJP’s and Matthew Broderick’s property, and facing her bedroom window, played the song “Baby Come Back” from the band, Player in 1977.
You know the lyrics: “Baby, come back. You can blame it all on me. I was wrong and I just can’t live without you.”
The Grizzly was desperate to salvage his Number One and favorite client, and he’d stop at nothing to keep Sarah Jessica Parker.
Take heart, Grizzly, you might have lost SJP, but there are plenty of other suspects you could go after.
One such candidate is Candace Bushnell.
This former columnist for The New York Observer, and current novelist and television producer who authored SATC, is more to blame for the bear-legs movement than SJP ever was.
As reader and frequent commenter, Brian W. stated, Bushnell, 57, was too easily persuaded to ditch pantyhose by a gay fashion designer.
I wear bare legs most of the year,” Bushnell said during an interview with The Mirror, an online tabloid. “It’s kind of a fashion thing. A New York designer decreed that women should never wear pantyhose, not even in winter. They’re just not sexy. I just shave my legs.
She “wears” bare legs? More like she wears a bear’s legs. “It’s kind of a fashion thing?” And pantyhose are “just not sexy?” OK, does Bushnell sound like a prolific novelist and TV producer to you? I think she’s easily influenced. She’s certainly confused.
At least 90 percent of the male population and millions of females throughout the world (such as me) think pantyhose are the sexiest thing a woman could ever wear.
Oh, and shaving one’s legs ain’t exactly some closely-guarded secret known only to celebrities, Bushnell. And, if you think just shaving will make your legs look sexy, uh, yeah … that’s not going to happen for you.
It’s too bad Bushnell was so easily brainwashed against wearing pantyhose.
Still, she might never have been much of a pantyhose wearer in the first place. In a Google search, I could find only two pictures of her in pantyhose. In the photo at left, Bushnell actually showed up dressed like this to a television station’s event. Real professional, Bushnell.
How is an accomplished author and a television producer so easily influenced about how to dress by a gay fashion designer?
But that is exactly what happened. Once, when asked during an online interview about the best fashion advice she ever received, Bushnell said:
“Isaac Mizrahi once told me that a lady never, ever wears pantyhose. Even if it’s snowing and 20 degrees outside.”
Wait, THAT was the best fashion advice Bushnell ever received? And it made sense to her?
Now I say instead of being the next client for the Grizzly, I think she should be eaten by the Grizzly.
Yes, it was Bushnell who wrote the SATC TV series, which aired from 1998 to 2004, featuring high-society women in New York City who wear the fashions of the day, including fabulous heels, but sans the pantyhose. That show spearheaded the launch of the bear-legs movement.
So, really, Candace Bushnell — not Sarah Jessica Parker — is the culprit who instigated the bear-legs culture.
Yet, years later (2010), Bushnell herself wore sheer pantyhose for an interview with an online fashion magazine.
Perhaps Bushnell is finally growing up?
Maybe she’s still confused.
Another suspect the Grizzly ought to go after is Patricia Field, the costume designer for SATC, who won a Primetime Emmy Award for Outstanding Costumes for a Series (Sex and the City 2002).
Ironically, Field, 74, (also gay) hosted and designed the outfits for a fashion event in 2012 in New York City, and it featured many women wearing pantyhose.
Similarly, Field designed the costumes for the TV series, “Ugly Betty” (2006-2010) and the movie, “The Devil Wears Prada” (2006), both of which featured its stars wearing pantyhose.
So, while Field obviously has something personal against pantyhose, she at least hasn’t shut them out of the wardrobes of all movies and events.
In looking at images of Field online, I didn’t see a single picture of her wearing pantyhose herself (thank God for that, actually).
However, I did see a picture of Lucy Liu attending Field’s 2009 birthday party, in which (of course, Field was bear-legged), yet, even Lucy Liu wore pantyhose.
That’s significant because Lucy Liu hardly ever wears pantyhose during public appearances.
So, indeed, the Grizzly has a couple of candidates for new clients, but SJP no longer should be considered one of them.
And, it’s appearing more and more obvious that the next Grizzly Award should go to Bushnell or Field, or both.
Now, is SJP still going to disappoint us by showing up bear-legged on talk shows, at movie premieres, public appearances and even while she’s just out and about?
Yeah, more than likely. OK, definitely.
Then again, there isn’t a single celebrity, even the ones who can be considered devoted pantyhose wearers, who don’t do that at one time or another.
In any case, Sarah Jessica Parker wears pantyhose of her own volition, and frequently enough that she no longer should be considered the ambassador of the bear-legs culture. Certainly, she’s not the cause of it.
And while this saddens the Grizzly, the bottom line is I was the one who blamed SJP for the bear-legs movement, I was wrong, and so I’ve corrected the mistake.
Welcome to the good side, SJP.
Note: My thanks to professional graphic artist David Joseph (whose wife, Sheri, is an ActSensuous customer) for his awesome artwork for this blog post. I provided the ideas and the raw pictures, and David expertly turned my vision into reality.
David also designed the current ActSensuous website and the beautiful packaging for our Act IV pantyhose.
Note II: My thanks, also, to Mark Johnson, a professional graphic artist and a corporate attorney (and an ActSensuous fan) for the very first picture of the Grizzly in the John Cusack pose from the 1989 movie, “Say Anything.”
I first delivered (July 2014) the Cusack photo and a grizzly bear picture to Mark, along with my vision for this post. It took some doing, but the resulting artwork (above) was the very key to my writing this post.
Thank you, Mark, wherever you are now.
Below, you’ll find more pictures of Sarah Jessica Parker wearing pantyhose throughout the past few decades, and at various venues. Enjoy!
In the ongoing battle between pantyhose and “bear” legs, I’m no expert (wait a minute … yes, I am), but it seems these days we’re in a one step forward, one step back situation.
Lately, I’ve learned how to keep my blood pressure from spiking out of control: I don’t watch movies or TV shows that I intuitively know are going to piss me off because the actresses who should be wearing pantyhose likely ain’t gonna be.
Case in point: I steered clear of last Sunday’s American Music Awards (AMA) show because I knew it would disappoint me. However, I did DVR it so that I could later blow past stupid commercials and much of the ugliness that this freak show has become.
Note: Pitbull should never be a host. He’s too much in love with himself, and other than singing, does he have any real talent? I think not. Second, much of what they were calling entertainment doesn’t sound like music to me. More like a train wreck maybe.
I actually worry that other countries will see the AMA show and wonder what happened to America? With a few notable exceptions, looking at how the presenters, guests and performers dressed and conducted themselves, it appears that values, decency and class are disappearing from pop culture. If what I glimpsed is any indication of what the future holds for this country, I’d prefer that the big meteor crash into Earth now, wiping out … oh, I don’t know … most of the population?
Naturally, I got what I expected out of the AMAs: Most of the female artists (including Taylor Swift and Selena Gomez, both of whom I hoped wouldn’t disappoint me) wore beautiful gowns and fabulous heels, but no pantyhose.
Only the two I thought would — Jennifer Lopez and Ariana Grande — wore pantyhose. (OK, and so did Iggy Azalea during her performance with J-Lo, so I give her credit “wear” credit is due).
DISCLAIMER: Again, I didn’t actually watch the AMA show, but instead fast-forwarded at 4-speed on the DVR remote, stopping only when something promising-looking caught my eye. Thus, if I missed a female presenter or performer who actually was wearing pantyhose, feel free to correct me in your comments. And, if I diss one of your favorite stars just because she was bear-legged, hey, this is a pantyhose blog. It’s what I do!
J-Lo always delivers a high-energy, exciting performance, and the vast majority of the time, she shows professionalism and class in wearing pantyhose with her outfits on stage. For those reasons, I am always interested in seeing her perform.
But the artist who stole the show (for me, anyway) was Ariana Grande. Amazing that it’s just about the youngest performer out there who consistently is the most professional and classiest of them all. I love this girl. Now, I have to say her voice makes me want to pull my hair out, and I can’t understand 90 percent of her lyrics (which, actually, might be a good thing), but I am extremely impressed with Ariana for sticking to her core values (or, at least, her good taste), always wearing cute outfits, high heels and her signature suntan sheer pantyhose.
During the AMA show performance, Ariana was part of a threesome that included Jessie J and Nicki Minaj. Jessie J usually is very pantyhose-friendly, but she didn’t wear for this number, and neither did Minaj. I know nothing about Minaj, so I have no idea whether she typically wears or doesn’t.
But I know this: Jessie J and Nicki Minaj might want to rethink the idea of performing alongside Ariana because they looked awful next to her. I think, anyway.
My eyes were glued on Ariana only, and I suspect that also was the case among most men watching the performance. Ariana is tiny next to Jessie J and Nicki Minaj, but with her professionalism and class, she stood (figuratively) 10 feet taller than them.
Think I am overdoing it with my praise for Ariana? Here’s the thing: If pantyhose are going to win the battle against the bear-legs crowd, we need a superstar celeb who consistently wears pantyhose on stage, to awards shows, as a guest on television specials, and even just out-and-about. Ariana has showed many times that she is a devoted wearer.
Taylor Swift appears to be 50-50 at best. In pantyhose, she looks awesome, but she’s not consistent in wearing during concert performances or anywhere else. Of course, she does sometimes and looks great in those cases, but then she arbitrarily shows up on the biggest entertainment stages bear-legged.
On the other hand, Selena Gomez is far more consistent in wearing pantyhose for all the right occasions and venues. Selena might be a close second to Ariana as a dedicated pantyhose wearer, including when she’s just out and about. And, like Ariana, when Selena wears, she looks stunningly beautiful.
Of course, longtime readers here know that I’ve praised Katy Perry big-time in this blog. Yet, too many times, I’ve seen photos of Katy on stage and off in bear legs. I still love Katy, but she’s just not as consistent a wearer as Ariana.
Let me tell you something: Ariana is the real deal. She might be the one performer who truly sets a good (and right) example for her legions of adoring young fans. When those girls become 17, 18 and older, they might be more likely to wear pantyhose to emulate their idol.
Besides Ariana, is there a celebrity we could describe as a truly consistent pantyhose wearer? If there is one, it’s Duchess of Cambridge Kate Middleton. Pantyhose sales throughout the UK and to some extent, the U.S., already are thriving again thanks to her. Kate should win the Nobel Peace prize for that.
Certainly, Zoey Deschanel has demonstrated she is a devoted pantyhose wearer. I’m sure she has appeared bear-legged once or twice on TV shows, movies or at public appearances, but in those cases, I’d have to believe the venue called for a more casual look. Otherwise, Zoey must be one of the most dedicated and consistent pantyhose wearers anywhere.
How about Sofia Vergara? It seems she’s everywhere now, pitching airlines, clothes, cosmetics, furniture, soft drinks. Most often, she wears sheer black pantyhose.
The other day, I saw her in a TV commercial for Rooms ToGo, and it looked as if she were wearing nude pantyhose, but the few pictures of that ad I could find online weren’t of a high enough resolution, and she looked to be (gasp) bear-legged.
Sofia, a consistent pantyhose wearer? You’d have to say yes, but I couldn’t believe the number of pics I found of her in bear legs during publicity appearances.
One step forward, one step back
Seems we have a long way to go still. You can look on the Internet and find millions of pictures of celebrities and real women wearing pantyhose. There are so many, I sometimes wonder how the bear-legs culture is still around.
But then on the world’s biggest stages, including the AMA show, presumably, the grandest show of the year for celebrities in the music industry, Taylor Swift and the overwhelming majority of women show up bear-legged. Why is that? I think it’s because today too many celebs still have a bear-legs consciousness. When the movement dawned during the late 1990s to early 2000s, the concept of bears legs was a bit shocking, but soon enough women from all walks of life jumped on the bandwagon. Once the excuse to not wear pantyhose was out there, it quickly took roots among almost all women.
Of course, it’s pretty clear now that pantyhose are making a big comeback. Nothing in the fashion world lasts forever. What’s hot turns cold, and what’s cold eventually turns hot. I have every confidence that pantyhose will some day be the preferred look again. We can see evidence of that everywhere we look. But, as long as there is some measure of doubt about what’s “in” today, we’ll see inconsistency among even those celebs we would view as devoted wearers. Many of them just don’t have the conviction yet, and so they aren’t sure which way to go. And, not wanting to appear out of touch, it seems that they choose the lesser course to be safe.
While that is frustrating, I still find this to be an exciting time. When a celebrity shows up at an event wearing pantyhose, it’s a thrill. Now, it’s like the celebs who wear are the cool ones since everyone else is doing the same old bear-legs thing. The ones who wear today are like the first ones to not wear. They are now challenging what became the norm just a decade or so ago. That will cause a stir and create doubt the other way — that perhaps women should be wearing pantyhose today.
A treat when pantyhose show up unexpectedly
That was the headline of my post (May 16, 2011) that featured South Korean model and actress Jun Ji-hyun, starring in the movie, “Blood: The Last Vampire?” I was reminded of that headline this past Sunday, when I watched “Talking Dead,” the post-show to AMC’s “The Walking Dead,” in which host Chris Hardwick and a few guests analyze that night’s preceding episode. Usually, the guests (often at least one from the cast of TWD) don’t exactly dress up, and lately, I’ve been skipping the post-show. But as that night’s episode of TWD was ending, the network flashed a quick peak at what was to come on TD and I caught a glimpse of a guest wearing what I thought might be sheer nude pantyhose.
So I tuned in and was thrilled to see Christian Serratos (who plays Rosita Espinoza) wearing a little black dress, black heels and, indeed, sheer nude pantyhose.
And, wow, did she look incredibly gorgeous. I like her character, Rosita, but I had no idea who the actress is because I had never seen her in anything other than TWD. I’ve since learned she is, (or was maybe) on “Twilight.” I don’t really know because I’ve never seen a single episode of that TV series (or is it a movie, or movies?). Obviously, I don’t have anything against vampires. I just don’t care for the whole young romance theme, which Twilight appears to be about from scenes I’ve noticed during promotions.
Anyway, Christian Serratos is petite (like me) and, as Rosita on TWD, she’s the most feminine of the female characters, her signature outfit being shorts and a cropped shirt that exposes her midriff. Naturally, in the wasteland that has become the zombie apocalypse, we don’t expect to see a woman in pantyhose (with the exception of fabulous Milla Jovovich as Alice in the awesome “Resident Evil” movies), and I always wondered why the female cast members of the show wouldn’t want to appear on the post-show dressed all girly for a change.
Wouldn’t they want their audience to finally see a different (more elegant) side of them? Many of the actresses do dress up on TD, but they never wear pantyhose, but now that Christian did, she is my new girl crush.
Of course, I Googled her to see if she’s really a pantyhose kind of girl, or if this appearance on TD was a total aberration. I found only a few pics of her in pantyhose, but that’s OK. To me, it actually makes it even more meaningful that she viewed the occasion of being on TD significant enough to dress beautifully, including wearing sheer nude pantyhose.
Does it seem to you that when a woman today actually does wear pantyhose with a black dress and black heels, it’s almost always black hose? Of course I get it (what we’ve always been taught), but I wish women today didn’t think it’s mandatory to match the shade of hosiery with the color of their shoes. Nude pantyhose are such a beautiful look with a black ensemble (and all other colors really.) So I love Christian Serratos all the more for her good taste in wearing sheer nude pantyhose to go along with her class and elegance.
In all fairness, in looking for the photo of Christian Serratos from TD, I found that there actually was at least one other female star from TWD, Lauren Cohan, who also appeared on the post-show wearing a skirt and pantyhose.
Like Christian, Lauren (who plays prominent character, Maggie) is very feminine in real life. I don’t know any other works she’s done, but in searching the Internet for pics of her in pantyhose, I could find only one, other than the few from her appearance on TD.
That’s really too bad because she is a beautiful girl and has spectacular legs.
Another unexpected treat
I’d never watched the TV series, “Person of Interest,” but not for any reason other than that it just didn’t occur to me to do so. I don’t know at what point it was, but I saw during scenes for an upcoming episode that actress Sarah Shahi had been added to the cast. That got me interested in POI, and I watched an episode or two and liked all the characters, although I am so late coming to the series I really don’t understand much about what’s going on.
I’ve had a love-hate (mostly hate) relationship with Sarah Shahi because, while I thought she was great in the old “Life” TV series, in her role as a detective, she was always dressed in pants.
Later, when she starred in “Fairly Legal,” I figured that was a role in which it would be appropriate for her to wear pantyhose, but nooooooooo. She went bear-legged. (Hated it. Didn’t watch it.)
I had seen on the Internet the same (like, 3) whole pics you’ve seen of Sarah Shahi in pantyhose (always black), so I was glad to see that she at least knows what pantyhose are. And, oh my gosh, does she look gorgeous in them. But I’d given up any hope of seeing this talented beauty ever wear them on a TV show or movie.
And, as expected, I found that on POI Sarah’s character (Sameen Shaw) wears mostly all black pants outfits as, I guess, one of the muscles on the team. Otherwise, she wears a black dress and black heels, but, sadly, she’s always bear-legged.
Still, I’d become intrigued with POI, and I was ready for the new season (4) which started Sept. 3. I recorded the premiere episode, but didn’t actually watch it until recently.
The show opens with a female blonde character (she’s a bad guy) in a black dress and heels (bear-legged) who meets a journalist in a bar, and murders him because he’s on to something about Artificial Intelligence about to take over life as we know it.
Subsequently (still in the first few minutes of the show), the scene changes to a fashion department store, the camera fixed on a pair of beautiful sheer nude pantyhose-adorned feet and legs in black heels and a black dress, and as the camera slowly pans upward, I am thinking to myself, please let that be Sarah Shahi’s character, Miss Shaw. And, to my sheer delight, it is.
I could hardly believe it. Finally, I am seeing Sarah Shahi in a little black dress with black high heels and sheer pantyhose. And not black pantyhose, but sheer nude pantyhose. And she looks spectacular.
Of course I am hoping this is a sign of things to come — that we’ll see more of Miss Shaw in sheer nude pantyhose. I also like that the show sticks to some sense of realism, in that the Shaw character, working as a sales associate (as a cover) in a big upscale department store (such as Macy’s) indeed would be expected to wear a dress, heels and pantyhose.
After watching that episode, I tried to find that awesome picture of Miss Shaw (bored and feeling the assignment was beneath her), standing in an aisle of the store offering customers a sample of perfume. Unfortunately, it was nowhere to be found, however, I got one (above) that shows just enough of her legs to see that she’s wearing. And, of course, I did find the premiere teaser video for your viewing pleasure. (You’re welcome.)
Like me, do you ever wonder how some photos from TV and movie scenes make it to the Internet, and some (the best ones) don’t? And if only you or I were in charge, we’d make sure that priceless gems such as this one of Sarah Shahi in sheer nude pantyhose would definitely make it? It’s like, who’s in charge of these things? Doesn’t he or she know the significance of such a shot?
Not since Lucy Liu wore sheer nude pantyhose in one or two episodes of “Elementary” last season, have I been this excited about a character in one of the TV shows I follow, but I have a feeling we won’t be seeing Miss Shaw in sheer pantyhose again, any more often than we’ve since seen Joan Watson in them.
One step forward-one step back. Still, it’s “A treat when pantyhose show up unexpectedly,” and until our favorite celebs become more consistent in choosing this look we love, we can, at least, savor the next surprise.
It’s baaaaaaaaack. Just a week from today, the NFL kicks off. Finally, life has meaning again.
My mind is filled with questions:
Will Big Ben and the Steelers be the Stillers again? (That’s how we say it “in the burgh.”) RB Le’Veon Bell returns in his sophomore season finally healthy, and RB LeGarrette Blount joins the backfield as a free agent. Will the black and gold’s offense resemble the Jerome Bettis days?
Will the Dolphins finally challenge for the AFC East? We’ll find out next Sunday, as the Fins host the Patriots. It’s a 1 p.m. game, and I’m hoping it’ll be 98 degrees with 95 percent humidity. QB Ryan Tannehill enters his third season with a brand new offense installed by new OC Bill Lazor, who was with the Philadelphia Eagles last year. So there will be lots of speed, motion and quick decision-making by #17, but behind an offensive line that features five new starters, after center Mike Pouncey underwent offseason surgery.
Will the Rams be able to overcome the loss of QB Sam Bradford?
Will Peyton Manning and the Broncos match or top last season’s record-setting offensive production?
Will the Seahawks dominate again, or experience a letdown?
Wait a minute. I’m off track here for the theme of this blog. Let’s get to the burning question that’s really on my mind:
Will Carrie Underwood go classy, or once again, slobby for the opening theme song of Sunday Night Football?
Having “Faith” in Underwood, assures she’ll go slobby again, and that thought has been driving me crazy for weeks.
During her reign as performer of the “Waitin’ all day for Sunday Night” theme song for SNF, Faith Hill went the way of the bear, wearing dresses or short-shorts, always bare-legged.
I suppose it’s possible she was wearing pantyhose under these very weird boots, but even if she did, it doesn’t count since she’s not showing enough leg anyway.
In any case, one would be hard pressed to call any of the outfits she wore to perform the SNF intro theme professional or classy.
In replacing Hill last season, I so hoped Underwood would show a little class, but that didn’t happen.
Instead, she wore denim short-shorts, a sleeveless top and cowboy boots, complete with “bear” legs.
What will Underwood wear for the opening act of SNF this season? Probably something else equally disappointing, including, of course, bear legs again.
I do hope I’m wrong, but whatever she wears, the chances that she will have on pantyhose are about as good as completing a Hail Mary pass for a touchdown.
As it turns out, in searching for Carrie Underwood on the Internet, I stumbled upon this video.
So, if this is the final wardrobe selection, we have our answer: Underwood once again will underwhelm, wearing a very short and strange-looking dress that appears tattered, comfortable-looking high-heel sandals, and, you guessed it, bear legs. Pause frame at 0:12/2:50.
I’ve written it before (last year, actually), but it’s worth repeating: The NFL has gone to great lengths to improve its image during the past several years. It’s a privilege to play in the league and to be associated with the NFL in all capacities.
The NFL is a multi-billion dollar business. (In the preview video, Fred Gaudelli, Coordinating Producer, Sunday Night Football, says “Sunday Night Football is the Number 1 show on television …”)
And, in almost every case, everyone associated with the NFL who appears on TV dresses very professionally. The guys in the booth, Al Michaels and Cris Collinsworth, who call and comment on the game, wear business suits and ties.
Similarly, the female hosts on NFL Network wear pantyhose with their dresses and heels, alongside the male hosts and analysts who wear suits. (I’ve since been corrected about this. Well, for a while there, Lindsay Rhodes used to wear quite beautifully, though I haven’t seen her in a long time, so I really don’t know now, and Amber Theoharis was wearing for a while, but apparently now, she’s gone the way of the Grizzly. Too bad. She used to look awesome.)
And remember, all NFL cheerleaders wear pantyhose with their uniforms, even in the hottest months in the hottest cities.
If all these people dress with professionalism and class, why can’t Carrie Underwood, an otherwise professional singer/songwriter, do the same when representing the NFL?
It’s not like she doesn’t know what pantyhose are. She’s worn sheer pantyhose to perform on other stages.
No, sadly, this is a choice made by Underwood, the costume designer, the director, the producer, and/or anyone associated with bringing this act to the SNF stage.
And shame on all of them for wanting their star to prance around the stage of the most-watched show on Sunday night as if she were ushering in a barbeque for the big ho-down.
Way to go, folks.
NFL losing its mind
Seems to me that the NFL is getting goofy these days anyway. I get trying to protect players by making it illegal for tacklers (and ball carriers) to initiate contact by leading with the head, using the helmet as a weapon. I agree with penalties for grasping the facemask and for horse-collar tackles.
I can even see the point of emphasizing the enforcement of illegal hands to the face, but, c’mon, this is football. Things like that are going to happen occasionally, accidentally.
But this business of moving the starting point of the kickoff up to the 35 yard line to discourage a runback — ostensibly, the most exciting play in the game? What genius came up with that one?
And I understand the NFL wants more scoring, but not allowing the DBs to touch a receiver after 5 yards? And don’t get me started on PI. Today, all a veteran quarterback has to do on 3rd and forever is throw deep, knowing there’s a better than average chance the defender will be called for pass interference, resulting in an automatic first down.
Then, there’s roughing the passer. Since the days of Hall of Famer Dan Marino, and soon-to-be HOFers Peyton Manning, Aaron Rodgers and Tom Brady, the NFL has wanted to protect the quarterback. I appreciate that. But today, you can barely touch a QB without getting penalized. You’ve seen it:
A defensive end or a rushing outside linebacker (or even a Safety on a corner blitz) gets to the QB, makes contact, but the signal caller magically wiggles out of a sure sack, scrambles to find a now-open receiver and completes a pass for a first down. And I’m not just talking Big Ben here. He does that routinely because he’s like 6-5, 265 pounds, and that’s just part of his game. He’s practically patented that move. I am talking about almost any QB today is able to escape being sacked, and I think it’s because defenders are concerned about getting penalized for roughing the passer. I’m not saying it’s a conscious decision by defenders. I just believe it’s in the back of their minds, causing them to hold up a bit.
C’mon, NFL, let these guys play football.
That’s right, I’m a petite little thing who wears nothing but dresses or skirts and heels and sheer pantyhose every day … and I know football. (A dream come true, aint I?)
Sorry for the rant, but these things have been bothering me for some time now, and what am I gonna do — write to the NFL? Puh-leeeeease.
Back to reality
Longtime readers here know I do not like, and cannot tolerate missed opportunities for entertainers to do the right thing.
I wrote this last season, and I’ll write it again here: There are so many more professional, credible, exciting performers who are much more glamorous than Carrie Underdog (not a typo).
If whoever is behind the production of the SNF opening theme song cared (obviously, he or she, or they don’t), a more professional and glamorous performer could do an exciting version of “Waitin’ all day for Sunday Night,” and look fabulous at the same time.
That guy I mentioned earlier, Fred Gaudelli, Coordinating Producer, Sunday Night Football, says of the SNF intro theme show for 2014: “It’s got a major star in Carrie Underwood. That’s the right star to open up a show like Sunday Night Football.”
Seriously? I soooo disagree.
In April of last year before Underwood was announced as the new SNF intro theme performer, I had written a post recommending a few stars I hoped would be considered to replace Hill (Who should NBC hire next to perform intro to SNF?) and my first choice was Katy Perry.
When I found out it was Underwood, I was disappointed. Why another country singer like Hill? Why someone else who likely would dress like she’s performing in a saloon?
In that post last year, I included a poll, and most of those who participated picked Katy, as well. (I like being right.)
Today, I still believe Katy Perry, Beyonce’, Rihanna and Jennifer Lopez would be better choices to do the SNF opening, as each is more professional and much classier than Carrie Underwear (again, not a typo).
I know those ladies would wear a fabulous costume that included sheer pantyhose. And this time, I’d add to that list Jessie J, and maybe Ke$ha and Shakira.
As far as I am concerned, consideration still should go to Selena Gomez and now Ariana Grande, but I do believe both are a bit too young and don’t have the credibility for such a venue yet.
Still, I am convinced both would at least have the good sense, good taste, professionalism and class to wear sheer pantyhose with their outfits. Something Carrie Underwhelming doesn’t seem to have.
Really, if I were producing the SNF opening theme, I’d probably feature a different performer each week singing her own version of that song.
And if SNF really wanted Underwood to do the singing for the first episode, I’d go for that. She could sing the song, but I’d get the Radio City Rockettes to do the actual performance.
That’s how you open Sunday Night Football, people!
Out of sheer morbid curiosity, I will watch the SNF intro performance next Sunday, but as Johnny Dangerously would say — “Once!”
I just want to see the pageantry and imagine what could have been one time. But after that, every Sunday night, I will have the telecast on until the intro theme comes on, at which time I will change the channel until I think it’s over, and then I’ll rejoin the program. My little way of protesting this missed opportunity.
Will you join me in this? Not sure it will make any difference, but it’ll make me feel better.
OK, your comments please. And please take the new poll. Tell us who you’d rather see perform the SNF intro theme.