It’s baaaaaaaaack. Just a week from today, the NFL kicks off. Finally, life has meaning again.
My mind is filled with questions:
Will Big Ben and the Steelers be the Stillers again? (That’s how we say it “in the burgh.”) RB Le’Veon Bell returns in his sophomore season finally healthy, and RB LeGarrette Blount joins the backfield as a free agent. Will the black and gold’s offense resemble the Jerome Bettis days?
Will the Dolphins finally challenge for the AFC East? We’ll find out next Sunday, as the Fins host the Patriots. It’s a 1 p.m. game, and I’m hoping it’ll be 98 degrees with 95 percent humidity. QB Ryan Tannehill enters his third season with a brand new offense installed by new OC Bill Lazor, who was with the Philadelphia Eagles last year. So there will be lots of speed, motion and quick decision-making by #17, but behind an offensive line that features five new starters, after center Mike Pouncey underwent offseason surgery.
Will the Rams be able to overcome the loss of QB Sam Bradford?
Will Peyton Manning and the Broncos match or top last season’s record-setting offensive production?
Will the Seahawks dominate again, or experience a letdown?
Wait a minute. I’m off track here for the theme of this blog. Let’s get to the burning question that’s really on my mind:
Will Carrie Underwood go classy, or once again, slobby for the opening theme song of Sunday Night Football?
Having “Faith” in Underwood, assures she’ll go slobby again, and that thought has been driving me crazy for weeks.
During her reign as performer of the “Waitin’ all day for Sunday Night” theme song for SNF, Faith Hill went the way of the bear, wearing dresses or short-shorts, always bare-legged.
I suppose it’s possible she was wearing pantyhose under these very weird boots, but even if she did, it doesn’t count since she’s not showing enough leg anyway.
In any case, one would be hard pressed to call any of the outfits she wore to perform the SNF intro theme professional or classy.
In replacing Hill last season, I so hoped Underwood would show a little class, but that didn’t happen.
Instead, she wore denim short-shorts, a sleeveless top and cowboy boots, complete with “bear” legs.
What will Underwood wear for the opening act of SNF this season? Probably something else equally disappointing, including, of course, bear legs again.
I do hope I’m wrong, but whatever she wears, the chances that she will have on pantyhose are about as good as completing a Hail Mary pass for a touchdown.
As it turns out, in searching for Carrie Underwood on the Internet, I stumbled upon this video.
So, if this is the final wardrobe selection, we have our answer: Underwood once again will underwhelm, wearing a very short and strange-looking dress that appears tattered, comfortable-looking high-heel sandals, and, you guessed it, bear legs. Pause frame at 0:12/2:50.
I’ve written it before (last year, actually), but it’s worth repeating: The NFL has gone to great lengths to improve its image during the past several years. It’s a privilege to play in the league and to be associated with the NFL in all capacities.
The NFL is a multi-billion dollar business. (In the preview video, Fred Gaudelli, Coordinating Producer, Sunday Night Football, says “Sunday Night Football is the Number 1 show on television …”)
And, in almost every case, everyone associated with the NFL who appears on TV dresses very professionally. The guys in the booth, Al Michaels and Cris Collinsworth, who call and comment on the game, wear business suits and ties.
Similarly, the female hosts on NFL Network wear pantyhose with their dresses and heels, alongside the male hosts and analysts who wear suits. (I’ve since been corrected about this. Well, for a while there, Lindsay Rhodes used to wear quite beautifully, though I haven’t seen her in a long time, so I really don’t know now, and Amber Theoharis was wearing for a while, but apparently now, she’s gone the way of the Grizzly. Too bad. She used to look awesome.)
And remember, all NFL cheerleaders wear pantyhose with their uniforms, even in the hottest months in the hottest cities.
If all these people dress with professionalism and class, why can’t Carrie Underwood, an otherwise professional singer/songwriter, do the same when representing the NFL?
It’s not like she doesn’t know what pantyhose are. She’s worn sheer pantyhose to perform on other stages.
No, sadly, this is a choice made by Underwood, the costume designer, the director, the producer, and/or anyone associated with bringing this act to the SNF stage.
And shame on all of them for wanting their star to prance around the stage of the most-watched show on Sunday night as if she were ushering in a barbeque for the big ho-down.
Way to go, folks.
NFL losing its mind
Seems to me that the NFL is getting goofy these days anyway. I get trying to protect players by making it illegal for tacklers (and ball carriers) to initiate contact by leading with the head, using the helmet as a weapon. I agree with penalties for grasping the facemask and for horse-collar tackles.
I can even see the point of emphasizing the enforcement of illegal hands to the face, but, c’mon, this is football. Things like that are going to happen occasionally, accidentally.
But this business of moving the starting point of the kickoff up to the 35 yard line to discourage a runback — ostensibly, the most exciting play in the game? What genius came up with that one?
And I understand the NFL wants more scoring, but not allowing the DBs to touch a receiver after 5 yards? And don’t get me started on PI. Today, all a veteran quarterback has to do on 3rd and forever is throw deep, knowing there’s a better than average chance the defender will be called for pass interference, resulting in an automatic first down.
Then, there’s roughing the passer. Since the days of Hall of Famer Dan Marino, and soon-to-be HOFers Peyton Manning, Aaron Rodgers and Tom Brady, the NFL has wanted to protect the quarterback. I appreciate that. But today, you can barely touch a QB without getting penalized. You’ve seen it:
A defensive end or a rushing outside linebacker (or even a Safety on a corner blitz) gets to the QB, makes contact, but the signal caller magically wiggles out of a sure sack, scrambles to find a now-open receiver and completes a pass for a first down. And I’m not just talking Big Ben here. He does that routinely because he’s like 6-5, 265 pounds, and that’s just part of his game. He’s practically patented that move. I am talking about almost any QB today is able to escape being sacked, and I think it’s because defenders are concerned about getting penalized for roughing the passer. I’m not saying it’s a conscious decision by defenders. I just believe it’s in the back of their minds, causing them to hold up a bit.
C’mon, NFL, let these guys play football.
That’s right, I’m a petite little thing who wears nothing but dresses or skirts and heels and sheer pantyhose every day … and I know football. (A dream come true, aint I?)
Sorry for the rant, but these things have been bothering me for some time now, and what am I gonna do — write to the NFL? Puh-leeeeease.
Back to reality
Longtime readers here know I do not like, and cannot tolerate missed opportunities for entertainers to do the right thing.
I wrote this last season, and I’ll write it again here: There are so many more professional, credible, exciting performers who are much more glamorous than Carrie Underdog (not a typo).
If whoever is behind the production of the SNF opening theme song cared (obviously, he or she, or they don’t), a more professional and glamorous performer could do an exciting version of “Waitin’ all day for Sunday Night,” and look fabulous at the same time.
That guy I mentioned earlier, Fred Gaudelli, Coordinating Producer, Sunday Night Football, says of the SNF intro theme show for 2014: “It’s got a major star in Carrie Underwood. That’s the right star to open up a show like Sunday Night Football.”
Seriously? I soooo disagree.
In April of last year before Underwood was announced as the new SNF intro theme performer, I had written a post recommending a few stars I hoped would be considered to replace Hill (Who should NBC hire next to perform intro to SNF?) and my first choice was Katy Perry.
When I found out it was Underwood, I was disappointed. Why another country singer like Hill? Why someone else who likely would dress like she’s performing in a saloon?
In that post last year, I included a poll, and most of those who participated picked Katy, as well. (I like being right.)
Today, I still believe Katy Perry, Beyonce’, Rihanna and Jennifer Lopez would be better choices to do the SNF opening, as each is more professional and much classier than Carrie Underwear (again, not a typo).
I know those ladies would wear a fabulous costume that included sheer pantyhose. And this time, I’d add to that list Jessie J, and maybe Ke$ha and Shakira.
As far as I am concerned, consideration still should go to Selena Gomez and now Ariana Grande, but I do believe both are a bit too young and don’t have the credibility for such a venue yet.
Still, I am convinced both would at least have the good sense, good taste, professionalism and class to wear sheer pantyhose with their outfits. Something Carrie Underwhelming doesn’t seem to have.
Really, if I were producing the SNF opening theme, I’d probably feature a different performer each week singing her own version of that song.
And if SNF really wanted Underwood to do the singing for the first episode, I’d go for that. She could sing the song, but I’d get the Radio City Rockettes to do the actual performance.
That’s how you open Sunday Night Football, people!
Out of sheer morbid curiosity, I will watch the SNF intro performance next Sunday, but as Johnny Dangerously would say — “Once!”
I just want to see the pageantry and imagine what could have been one time. But after that, every Sunday night, I will have the telecast on until the intro theme comes on, at which time I will change the channel until I think it’s over, and then I’ll rejoin the program. My little way of protesting this missed opportunity.
Will you join me in this? Not sure it will make any difference, but it’ll make me feel better.
OK, your comments please. And please take the new poll. Tell us who you’d rather see perform the SNF intro theme.