“I been waitin’ all (these years) for Sunday Night (without Faith Hill’s “bear” legs).”
Yesterday, one of our devoted readers (and our most prolific commenter), Brian W., alerted me that country singer Faith Hill announced on Monday that she no longer will perform the lead-in to Sunday Night Football.
Well, here’s a song for ya: “Ding-dong, the witch is dead.”
If it sounds like I won’t be missing Faith’s SNF intro, you got that right. I hate missed opportunities, and Faith certainly passed up the chance to class up the joint with her skimpy outfits and those pasty white “bear” legs prancing around the stage, belting out that Joan Jett-like tune. Hate that song … mostly because once you hear it, you can’t get it out of your head, along with the image of those “bear” legs.
I so wanted Faith to bring a little elegance to the SNF intro, but she just wouldn’t do it.
Maybe she felt that because this was a sports venue, it called for a more casual look. Wrong! Hey, Faith, even professional sports cheerleaders (some college and even high school cheerleaders) wear pantyhose with their uniforms.
So, yes, I am glad Faith no longer will be doing the introduction number to Sunday Night Football.
Now, I’m wondering who NBC will draft next for that role.
While finally, once again, we’re seeing more and more Hollywood actresses wearing pantyhose during publicity and public appearances, professional singers/dancers today (Faith notwithstanding) always wear pantyhose on stage.
So, I see no shortage of female candidates who could easily step into the SNF intro role.
Here are my top few choices and why.
Well liked and respected, Beyonce’ is always professional and classy. She’s a great singer/dancer/entertainer, and she is a devoted pantyhose wearer.
And, in addition to always wearing pantyhose on stage, she often wears for publicity events and guest appearances on talk shows.
Of course, Beyonce’ has done a Super Bowl halftime show, so she’s not exactly off the radar to NBC or the NFl.
She’s not controversial. I’d say, on the surface, she seems to be a natural fit.
[She … could … go … all the way!]
Another good candidate who always wears pantyhose with her sexy but tasteful costumes on stage.
But, wait a minute. Doesn’t she have an idiot rapper boyfriend who has used her face for a punching bag? I doubt NBC and the NFL would want Rihanna to be the poster girl for SNF.
Too bad because she otherwise would be a good choice.
OK, just kidding. She definitely is a devoted pantyhose wearer, but, well, too often she wears practically nothing but pantyhose. NBC probably would be frightened by her.
Now, here’s my favorite. Katy is nothing but classy, lovely, and just plain cute.
She writes some very compelling songs and appeals to audiences of all demographics.
Add to that a fantastic voice, great stage and screen presence, and very contemporary songwriting, and NBC would have a true winner.
Oh, and Katy Perry never goes anywhere not dressed beautifully. And she’s one of the most prolific pantyhose wearers among all professional entertainers.
I just love her, and I bet that NBC would, too.
If NBC wanted to stay with a country/pop singer, Taylor might be a pretty swift choice. That girl can write some entertaining songs. She’s got a pleasant sound. She’s got a wholesome persona.
It could work.
[Long field goal]
Great voice. Wears lovely outfits, complete with pantyhose, on stage. But … uh, no. Cute, but probably too young. Probably not an NFL fan either. Anyway, she wouldn’t get my vote because too many times I’ve been disappointed in her for not wearing pantyhose with her beautiful outfits on late night talk shows.
[Tackled for loss]
Now, we’re talking. What a performer! She can sing. She can dance. She can definitely rock it. She knows how to dress on stage.
But is she an NFL kind of girl? Uh, yeah. She’s part owner of the Miami Dolphins.
In one of her movies (the one of her’s I like best), “Out of Sight,” she plays a U.S. Marshall pursuing a career bank robber (George Clooney).
The movie is set in Miami, and in one scene, J-Lo wears short-shorts and a Dan Marino jersey. But when she is on the job during a good portion of the movie, she’s wearing a skirt with sheer nude pantyhose and heels, and she looks great.
Sadly, I’ve seen her in a couple of TV commercials and print ads doing the “bear” legs thing. So, she gets a personal foul penalty (15 yards), but I’d still give her the nod to do the SNF intro.
[First down, J-lo]
Another great candidate, the Cuban-American pop singer can belt out a song like no one, and she’s got all the right moves on the stage. But is she an NFL kind of gal? Uh, hello, another part owner of the Miami Dolphins, and a “diehard” fan since the Phins’ 1972/73 perfect season, she says.
Makes sense to me. Hey, NBC, if Gloria sings the SNF intro, I can tell you this: “The rhythym is Gonna Get You.”
[First and goal]
Why not? She’s got the pipes and the dance moves. And she’s classy enough to wear pantyhose on stage.
I have never seen Paula on stage not wearing pantyhose. She can sing and dance. She’d be a fine candidate.
[Makes the playoffs]
I’m not kidding. OK, yes, I am.
Then again, she’d still be an upgrade over Faith Hill. At least Madonna has the sense to wear pantyhose on stage.
Now I’m kidding, of course.
But if this were the 1990s, she’d likely be my first choice. She most definitely would be classy, exotic and entertaining.
Back in the days of “Gypsies, Tramps and Thieves,” Cher was the entertainment bomb, and so were her on-stage costumes, such as this one (left) from 1978.
Before the likes of Madonna and Cyndi Lauper (both likely influenced by her), Cher was the girl who “just wanted to have fun.”
OK, so today Cher isn’t a candidate to perform the Sunday Night Football introduction, but it would be nice if when NBC considers the next star to take that stage, they choose someone who has the professionalism, glamour and exotic looks that Cher had.
[End of regulation]
OK, now it’s your turn. Who’d I leave out? Who would be your choice to perform the introduction number to Sunday Night Football, and why? Take the poll below to let me know.
Also, next up is a photo gallery I’ve made for you featuring some professional entertainers who probably should be considered. By the way, when you click to expand the pictures, you know you can comment on any one you like, right? Just saying …