Remember the slogan “Friends Don’t Let Friends Drive Drunk,” written several years ago by the U.S. Department of Transportation and the Ad Council? That campaign created an effective awareness about the death toll from driving impaired, and introduced the concept of the Designated Driver.
I like to think that The ActSensuous Blog has similarly wide-reaching influence, and I’m sort of the designated person trying to drive women to wear pantyhose.
Let’s count the ways this blog has impacted what you’re now enjoying, shall we?
During the 2010-11 NFL season, I complained in my blog about Faith Hill’s awful “bear” legs in her Sunday Night Football intro song. And then, what happened in the 2011-12 season? That’s right: She donned pantyhose and looked 100 times better. Oh yeah, I’m taking credit for that. (Hey, you’re welcome!)
Not convinced? OK, how about this: Devoted watchers of NFL Network have to admit they cringed every time they saw one of the show’s hosts, Kara Henderson, who always wore way-too-short skirts for those horrid pasty white legs of her’s, which she flashed all too often. And what happened not long after I called her out for this (Nov. 4, 2011: “Pantyhose happenings on my mind”)? That’s right. She has been wearing pantyhose regularly on the show — quite beautifully, too. Coincidence? I don’t THINK so.
Check out this video of Kara Henderson in studio on the NFL Network:
I can picture how the conversation around the NFL Network studio must have gone: “Kara, we love ya, girl, but those bear legs of yours are killing our ratings. We get that you women today hate pantyhose, but listen, we don’t want you to end up getting The ActSensuous Blog’s next Grizzly Award. That’s the kind of thing that can end a gal’s career. So, c’mon now, why don’t you break out the pantyhose? Our ratings will soar, and Robin will probably heap loads of praise on you for how good you’ll look. It’ll be a win for everyone.”
Yeah, it likely went something like that, I’m pretty sure.
Now, if you Google Kara Henderson, you won’t find a single photo of her in pantyhose. But on NFL Network, she has become a pantyhose babe. But, I’m not done with the NFL Network yet. Now, it seems every female host on the show has gone all pantyhose on us. Check out this video of the lovely Lindsay Soto (now, Rhodes):
Wow. Those are some killer legs in beautiful sheer nude pantyhose, eh? Do you just see how influential the ActSensuous Blog really is?
I feel some of you slipping away from me. You want more evidence, don’t you? Fine, fine.
One of my regular columns on this blog is “Credit ‘Wear’ Credit is Due,” in which I recognize and glorify the little people (you know, like Ann Curry and Julianna Margulies) for dressing beautifully, including wearing pantyhose. Otherwise, probably no one would ever pay these budding celebs much attention.
You remember my post in January 2011, “Credit ‘Wear’ Credit is Due — Who’s that T-Mobile Girl?” In that one, I lavished so much praise upon the up-and-coming Carly Foulks for how pretty she looks in those pink dresses, high heels and very sheer nude pantyhose. Yeah, that’s right — I put that girl on the map! And what happened after that? Verizon goes out and gets the beyond-beautiful model, Cherub Moore, to wear that fabulous gray skirt and dark wine-colored blouse, complete with gorgeous sheer pantyhose for last year’s Black Friday TV commercial. Need I say more?
Again, if you Google Cherub Moore (and, really, why wouldn’t you?), you won’t find one picture of her wearing pantyhose. But it’s pretty clear that when advertisers write spots for their clients, they think of me and the influence of The ActSensuous Blog. Obviously, they realize the value of featuring their lovely models in pantyhose. And, again, I take full credit for that. (What?)
Too much power?
But, as Peter Parker’s uncle taught us in Spiderman, “With great power, comes great responsibility.” (Did I mention Kirsten Dunst wore pantyhose in those Spidey movies because of me? But, I digress …) And now, I have to live with the fact that this far-reaching influence I wield actually could be starting to back-fire. That’s right. Those people who are equally devoted to the bear legs movement — the people I like to call, you know, the villains — are beginning to take notice of all the good I’m doing out there for truth, justice and the American way, and they’re fighting back.
I didn’t write a post about this next subject (although I did think about doing it), but you guys beat me to the punch when you wrote some comments about the CitiBank TV commercial, in which (actual professional rock climber Katie Brown) says:
My boyfriend and I were going on vacation, so I used my Citi Thank You card to pick up some accessories: A new belt, some nylons, and what girl wouldn’t need new shoes? …
A few of you praised that commercial for its obvious reference to nylons of the hosiery variety. I loved that you picked up on that and made a big deal about it. But have you noticed that the writer(s) recently modified that line? Now, when the lady rock climber talks about picking up some things she’ll need for her vacation, she says “A new belt, some nylon (instead of nylons) …”
Are you kidding me? Is the writer of that commercial such a pantyhose hater that he or she (more than likely, she) had to take away that cute play-on-words in order to not encourage us pantyhose lovers? I can just picture some little Kelly Ripa-like writer thinking to herself: “I’ll show those pantyhose lovers!” Is it just me, or is this edited line a retaliation for all the excitement I (OK, you this time) generated about this commercial’s use of the word “nylons?”
Similarly, Cherub Moore has since appeared in (at least two Verizon commercials that I’ve seen), but now she’s actually wearing pants that do nothing for her lovely figure. I hope Verizon is happy with themselves for dressing her down, and making her look just average, after I (yeah-yeah, you guys, too) bragged about how beautiful she looked in the Black Friday commercial.
Are the writers/directors/producers of these commercials making adjustments based upon what we’re doing in this blog? OK, well, probably not. But it does kinda make some sense. We brag them up for dressing their spokeswomen in pantyhose during a time when, let’s face it, the majority of the world’s women hate pantyhose. You’d have to think those responsible for these commercials might realize that they could attract a larger audience for whatever they’re selling if they suck up to the bear-leggers rather than to those in the minority who appreciate and value pantyhose.
Reality setting in
Similarly, I’ve been sooooooooo disappointed lately in many of the celebs on whom I’ve heaped tons of praise for their devotion to wearing pantyhose. And when some of the usually-pantyhose-friendly ones don’t, I make excuses for them and blame it on the costume designer for dressing them in bear legs. But, when celebs appear on late night talk shows, or are out and about town, and dress in nice outfits but with bear legs, that’s clearly on them.
Stars I’ve complimented for their devotion to class and elegance, especially in dressing up and wearing pantyhose, have been letting me down lately. For example, I have never seen Morena Baccarin wear pantyhose on a single talk show or awards show. Not Dana Delany either. Not Jennifer Lopez. And lately, I’ve seen Milla Jovovich more often bear-legged than in pantyhose. And don’t even get me started on Angelina Jolie and her constantly popping her bear leg out from her high-slit dress during the Academy Awards show. Bimbo.
Still, the only celeb who seems to always do the right thing when it comes to how she dresses for public appearances is Julianna Margulies. But, is she wearing pantyhose in the photo above? If so, those are the sheerest nude pantyhose on the planet. I actually saw this episode of “The Late Show with David Letterman” and thought she was wearing, but at least one of our readers commented on this post that she is actually bear-legged. I guess my eyes aint what they used to be, or more likely, I saw what I wanted to see. What say you? Did Julianna Margulies actually appear on Letterman bear-legged?
I’ve often written that Nicole Kidman and Sandra Bullock, almost always can be counted on to wear pantyhose during public appearaces. And, maybe to a large extent, that’s still the case, but increasingly, it seems that 99.5 percent of celebs are brainwashed and believe they have to appear in public bear-legged because “that’s what everyone is doing.” Pitiful.
One celeb I thought I could count on more than most to wear pantyhose during public events is gorgeous Chinese actress Zhang Ziyi, but she’s killing me these days. I really thought of her as very strong-willed and independent — someone who would always do what she wanted to do — not what everyone else was doing. Yet, while she once frequently wore pantyhose during publicity events, presumably because it is the right thing to do, and because she has the class and traditional values to do the right thing, it is increasingly rare to see her in pantyhose. Still, I have confidence in her. I believe (I need to believe) she’ll go back to doing what she knows is right. She looks incredible in pantyhose and even (gasp) bare-legged (no bear here for her), so I can only hope she chooses pantyhose just because she wants to.
And lovely little Lucy Liu? Forget about seeing her in pantyhose, which is practically a crime since she looks stunning in them. And the extremely rare times we do see her in pantyhose, they’re too often the thick black ones that just don’t suit her.
But I am most dismayed by the way Sandra Oh dresses. I know what you’re thinking, but unlike her character on “Grey’s Anatomy,” she truly is gorgeous in a dress, high heels and sheer nude or suntan pantyhose.
Sadly, it seems lately that we’ll just never see her in pantyhose anymore.
She’s a perfect example of a star who grew up with traditional Korean values, used to dress beautifully and appropriately in the proper situations, but now has seemingly become just another brainwashed Hollyweird go-along-er.
A case in point occurred in October 2011 when Sandra Oh was inducted into Canada’s Walk Of Fame for her long career in film and television.
If ever there were a time for Sandra Oh to wear pantyhose, this was it, especially since she grew up in Canada. Instead, she did the “ugly American” thing and showed up bear-legged.
As much as I appreciate when veteran celebrities do the right thing and wear pantyhose during public appearances, I think I love it even more when very young up-and-coming stars set themselves apart from the pack in the way they dress, wearing pantyhose with their pretty dresses and high heels.
You know how I’ve gushed over the likes of Lady Gaga and Katie Perry for being frequent wearers of pantyhose when out and about. And that can be said for Paris Hilton, too. I’ve almost resigned myself to realize and admit that EVERY celeb is going to have days where they just can’t be bothered to dress nicely.
But recently, I’ve been seeing two 19-year-olds, Selena Gomez and Miranda Cosgrove (iCarly) wearing pantyhose during public appearances.
I have to say I had never heard of Miranda until I saw her on a couple of late night talk shows and was so proud of her for dressing up and wearing pantyhose for the occasions. This is such a great sign of hope for the future.
So I’ll go ahead and give myself credit for that. I’m funny that way, ya know.