December 30, 2010 — Since I started my blog in May 2009, I’ve written 30 posts. I am really proud of a few of them: “Why Bears don’t wear Pantyhose,” “A good time to be Asian,” “Even Aliens wear Pantyhose.”
But the post that has been, by a wide margin, the most read, and seemingly, the most appreciated, is the one I wrote in January of this year, “Why not Pantyhose with open-toe high heels?” So, as 2010 comes to a close, and I want to finish as strongly as I began this year, I feel compelled to give you what you obviously want.
Now, please don’t think that I couldn’t come up with something fresh and so decided to reheat this one. OK, that’s actually pretty much the case, but during this entire year, I’ve been struck with what the stats show – that, when I have, for example, 200 visits in a day, 120 people read “Why not Pantyhose with open-toe high heels?”
Similarly, more readers have participated in the poll attached to that post than any of the others. And the results? As of this writing, of the 109 votes cast, 106 (97 percent) were for “Absolutely! Yes, please!” (to wearing pantyhose with open-toe high heels); only three were for “No way! No how! Never!” (3 percent); and zero for “Who cares?”
Because this post, and the ongoing debate over the subject, struck such a nerve with you, I decided to dig a bit further into the matter. In January, my post began this way:
Lately, I’ve read several posts on various blogs in which girls are asking for advice about what to wear to a special event. Often – and I love this – they are open to wearing pantyhose but for the fact that they want to wear some sexy open-toe high heels and believe one is not supposed to wear pantyhose with such shoes. Who made that rule?
Today, my question is: Who made these people “fashion experts?”
This time, instead of stating my views, I went the scientific route and visited some websites of fashion magazines. Like everything else on the Internet, you can find tons more information than you’re looking for, so if you want to see some of what I saw, you can write this in your Google search engine: top fashion experts on pantyhose and open-toe shoes
In the interest of keeping the length of this post reasonable, I’ve selected for your viewing pleasure just three excerpts of advice/opinions about the topic from “fashion experts.’’
Here’s the question posed to the experts:
Should you wear stockings with open-toe shoes?
(Stockings? Who wears stockings today? I’m already offended. Why couldn’t they just write pantyhose?)
Below, you’ll see direct quotes from some of what these “experts” wrote, a blurb about who they are and their qualifications (as well as mug shots where available), and my polite response to their idiotic statements.
- “I view it as one of the worst fashion offenses a woman can commit… “When I see a woman wearing stockings with open-toed shoes, my first thought is that she must have some kind of nasty toenail fungus or calves covered with varicose veins. Wearing stockings when it is not appropriate to wear stockings always makes it look as though you have some dirty little secret to hide. So if you must wear stockings, wear them with sensible shoes. And if you must wear open-toed shoes, make sure that your toes are showing. After all, that is the whole point of open-toed shoes in the first place.”
(Marlin Bressi: An award-winning hairstylist and beauty expert whose work has appeared in numerous magazines and newspapers on several websites, such as Suite101.com, where he was Beauty Editor for two years.)
My polite response: Hey, Marlin, it could be that the reason you used to be the beauty editor for two years is that someone finally realized that you actually have no sense of fashion. You said: “If you must wear open-toed shoes, make sure that your toes are showing…” Uh, two things for you, dude: 1.) Toes most certainly will be showing in open-toe shoes; 2.) Toes do show through pantyhose. Nylon is sheer. That means they’re see-through. Go back to strumming your guitar and smoking dope, dope. By the way, real nice outfit.
- “Breathless with anticipation and wondering if you can wear pantyhose with bare toes? Relax, take a breath. The answer is no. Pantyhose and bare toes are not complimentary.”
(Anne Warchol: A retired mother of three married children. People think I’m in my 30s, and I never tell them I’m 50.)
My polite response: I got news for you, Anne. It ain’t just that people think you’re in your 30s (maybe a couple of the neighborhood kids where you live). They also think you’re a moron. “…wondering if you can wear pantyhose with bare toes?” Seriously? You can’t even pose the question properly. Of course one can wear pantyhose with bare toes. What – you think pantyhose are usually worn over socks? “Pantyhose and bare toes are not complimentary.” Huh? Anne, you’re not only not qualified to weigh in on the topic at hand, you’re not qualified to leave your house. And get a hairdo, will ya? How can you hope to be thought of as a fashion expert with that do?
- “Tights and stockings should not be paired together. No way. No how…”
(Chelia Copeland: Highly motivated, creative and versatile journalist with a graduate degree in journalism. Over five years of writing/editing experience at a variety of newspapers, magazines, web sites, publishing companies and organizations. No photo available.)
My polite response: Chelia, you’re a journalist with a graduate degree in journalism? You’ve been a professional writer and an editor? Well, so have I, and when I see two mistakes in one paragraph, I stop reading. First, the issue is whether one should wear stockings with open-toe shoes, yet, your opening statement is “Tights and stockings should not be paired together.” Huh? The question was pairing hosiery with open-toe shoes, not pairing tights and stockings. Why would anyone do that?
Then, you write that you have “over” five years of writing/editing experience …” Didn’t you learn in journalism school that the word “over” refers to a position in space, such as over the hill, or over the rainbow? You should have written that you have “more than” five years of writing/editing experience …
Whenever professional writers get the little details wrong, they lose credibility in my book. You lost me after your first paragraph, Chelia, and I stopped reading. So, while I don’t know why you are arguing against wearing hose with open-toe shoes, I really just don’t care what you have to say. You have no credibility with me because, if you’re this sloppy in your own profession, you’re not qualified to comment on what is or isn’t fashionable. And what kind of name is Chelia, anyway? Bimbo.
There, see how delicately I handled these so-called experts and their idiotic statements? Sorry, but I have little patience with stupid people – especially those who tout themselves as experts and then have the nerve to publish their views, despite the fact that they can’t construct a simple sentence. I mean one knucklehead wrote that wearing pantyhose with open-toe shoes is ugly because the “seem” shows. I guess he means the “seam.”
And in the case of sheer nude pantyhose, in many cases, unless you get probably way too close and/or stare with great intensity, you can hardly tell if a lady is wearing pantyhose or not. And what if a delicate little seam shows? Heck, I think that’s sexy.
Seriously, who made these people “fashion experts?”
As long as barely-educated windbags have a forum to express themselves, unfortunately, some women will be influenced by their stupid opinions. I should point out that, thankfully, there are several writers taking the exact opposite position, so perhaps it all balances out.
One positive about this raging debate is that there is one. I mean as long as so many women are asking, and so many “experts” are answering, at least it’s a good sign for pantyhose lovers that so many people care. Unfortunately, I believe the prevailing thought is this:
“The universal no-no is to never wear sheer nude hosiery with open toe shoes or strappy sandals — it just looks tacky.”
So states fashion expert Sharon Haver of www.focusonstyle.com
I disagree with her. Fortunately, so do many women who most influence fashion – actresses from throughout the world. Check out the celebrities below (starting from the second row down. I don’t know why the first three pics are repeating in this gallery). Who’s going to tell these women they are committing a fashion no-no?
Happy New Year, everyone!