When Pantyhose Attack


     Anna is out of this world.  Way outta this world.

    Not sure what planet the head alien in ABC’s “V” television series is from, but we have been promised that these visitors come to Earth in peace.  Or is that “in piece,” meaning they’ve come for a piece of us humans?

     These visitors bring with them a seemingly innocent desire to share with us their medical and technological superiority.
 
     But c’mon.  What’s the catch here?  What do they want from us?  After enthusiastically watching the series last season, and then the premiere of the second season at 9 p.m. EST on Tuesday, March 30, 2010, I believe I have figured it all out.
 
     I think we can all agree that the “V”s are an obviously advanced civilization.  And Anna, its beautiful, classy and elegant leader, appears to be on a one-alien mission to see that women on all planets in the universe assume such power roles. 
v-ph
     Anna knows that the only way she can accomplish her goal of having women run the world is to first win over all the men on Earth.  To do that, she has to dress for success, so she routinely wears incredibly awesome designer suits, high heels and some delicious-looking sheer nude pantyhose.  Upon beholding this absolute goddess, all men on Earth instantly pledge total loyalty to Anna. They will kill or die for her.  And rightfully so.  
 
SPOILER ALERT:  Now, with control over all men, Anna turns her attention to training women in the finer art of beauty, grace and glamour, preparing them to fulfill their destiny as rulers of the world.  After all, if the charismatic leader of such vastly superior beings wouldn’t dream of going out in public without wearing pantyhose, how could mere human women?
 
    Anna definitely has the right idea here, and I for one, salute her most ambitious goal.  Females are more highly evolved creatures and clearly should be running things.   But we’ve got to start looking the part again. 
 
     Thank you, Anna, for being the shining example of what all women could be.   So ladies, if you’ve always wanted to be an alien (or just look like one) tune in to ABC at 9 p.m. EST on Tuesday nights and start supporting the cause. 
 
     Unfortunately, at the end of the show, I read this disclaimer, which I’ve written word-for-word below.  This is very discouraging to me:
The characters and events depicted in this motion picture are fictional.  Any similarity to any actual person, living or dead, or to any actual events, firms, and institutions or other entities, is coincidental and unintentional.
 
Darn.  Somewhere, Sarah Jessica Parker must be smiling.

Dancing with the Slobs a huge bust


     UPDATE:  Tuesday March 30, 2010 –

     You know that (annoying) TV commercial in which everyday people take credit for the new Microsoft Windows 7: “It was my idea.” ?

     Well obviously, DWTS listened to me, or read my blog, because more of the pro dancers and celebrity dancers wore pantyhose during Monday’s second episode and tonight’s Results Show of the 2010 season.  

     But not my favorite from the first show last Monday night, Nicole Scherzinger.  Bimbo.  I knew it was too good to be true!

Monday March 22, 2010 –    

Celeb dancer Nicole Scherzinger practices with pro partner Derek Hough, but unfortunately, was almost never seen in pantyhose during her actual performances.

I had stopped watching Dancing with the Stars many seasons and many reasons ago.  But you had to know I’d at least watch Monday night’s (March 22, 2010) opening episode to see if, by some miracle, any of the female celebrity and pro dancers wore pantyhose.   Would any of them show any class, or like during the Oscars, would most of them  wear fabulous costumes, jewelry and heels but go bare-legged? 

     Helloooo … this is ballroom, people!  Where’s the grace and elegance?  

     Two places, actually:

  • First, as usual, the women in the audience looked better than the celebs and pros, as almost everyone of them wore pantyhose.  After all, these ordinary people have the class and good sense to realize they’ll be seen on national TV.  When the audience members dress better than the stars, the costumer associated with the show should be ashamed. 
  • Second, toward the end of the show, there was a wonderful commercial for L’eggs pantyhose, featuring an absolutely gorgeous Asian girl wearing a variety of pretty outfits and pantyhose.  Wow!  A pantyhose commercial.  Haven’t seen one of those since, what, the 1970s?  

      In all fairness, celebs Niecy Nash and Nicole Scherzinger (photo above), and pro dancers Chelsie Hightower and Anna Trebunskaya did wear pantyhose. 

    But celebs Shannen Doherty, Erin Andrews, Kate Gosselin and Pamela Anderson, and pro dancers Cheryl Burke, Ashly Costa (too bad because she’s very cute and sweet), and Edyta Sliwinska (whom I’ve NEVER seen in pantyhose ever) went with the bare legs look. 

     Here’s what I don’t get:  Dancing with the Stars does an elaborate job and must spend an enormous amount of money on the set.   On the surface, the overall look and atmosphere is one of class, elegance and glamour.  The orchestra is first rate.  The concept is well conceived.  So what is with the costumer for this show?   Hellooooo.  This is ballroom! 

     You don’t see professional or even amateur figure skaters going bare-legged just because pantyhose “aren’t in fashion” right now.  And cheerleaders of professional sports teams (and some college teams) wear pantyhose (or at least tights).    

     And who cast these celebs, anyway?   It seems that the show thinks it has to feature women with huge busts (hence my title for this post) to pull in viewers.  Pamela Anderson?   “The most downloaded celebrity of all time?”  Huh?  And all the male cast members and celebs just went ga-ga over this?  Ugh, I must belong on a completely different planet. 

Insert (June 2010): OK, I must admit, I had never really given Pamela Anderson a chance.  She actually grew on me during the course of the show, which I did monitor (only to see who wore and who didn’t).  I have to give Pamela credit.  She isn’t the bimbo I’d expected.  She was funny, she can dance, she maintained a professional attitude and she brought character to each of her performances.  AND she often wore pantyhose.  So, I am now admitting that I prejudged her, and for that, I am sorry.   

      Am I wrong here?   Too hard on this show?   Is it OK for celebs and pro dancers of the ballroom to allow their wardrobe to drop to the depths of what we can expect to see on late night talk shows and award shows?  Does anyone care?

Please let me know your thoughts:  Dancing with the Stars — or Dancing with the Slobs?

Why not pantyhose with open-toe high heels II?


Update:  As of May 15, 2010, 74 of you had voted on the poll attached to the original post I wrote on this subject in January.  Of those, 72 (97 percent) chose the answer, “Absolutely! Yes, please.”   So only 2 of the 74 cast a “No” vote.   That begs the question:  What monkey came up with the rule that one should NEVER wear pantyhose with open-toe high heels?

I like it when you agree with me.   Good job with that.

Perfect

Thank you to those who wrote comments about my January post, “Why not pantyhose with open-toe high heels?”

I try to be relevant, if not compelling, in this blog — hoping to get more of you involved in it.   I really thought more of you would weigh in about pantyhose with dress sandals because my research showed that so many women absolutely believe this is a fashion no-no. 

Well, of the whole six (yeah, six) comments I got about my post in January that it’s not only OK, but really sexy, to wear pantyhose with open-toe high heels, all of them were positive.  Men and women agreed.

But while I wrote in the first sentence of this post that I like when you agree with me, seriously, it’s OK if you have a different opinion.  The content in this blog is open to debate.

I would just like to know why so many women believe it is wrong to wear pantyhose with open-toe dress shoes.  I think women everywhere believe they should never do this, but I’ve never heard anyone explain why?

Just look at the attached photo (you can expand it by clicking on it).  I dare anyone to say that pantyhose should not be worn with open-toe high heels.

And for those who say that it is unsightly for the (delicate little) seam across the toes to show, I say that that is actually kinda sexy.

Let the debate continue!